Welcome to my World

Welcome to the domain different--to paraphrase from New Mexico's capital city of Santa Fe which bills itself "The City Different." Perhaps this space is not completely unique but my world shapes what I write as well as many other facets of my life. The four Ds figure prominently but there are many other things as well. Here you will learn what makes me tick, what thrills and inspires me, experiences that impact my life and many other antidotes, vignettes and journal notes that set the paradigm for Dierdre O'Dare and her alter ego Gwynn Morgan and the fiction and poetry they write. I sell nothing here--just share with friends and others who may wander in. There will be pictures, poems, observations, rants on occasion and sometimes even jokes. Welcome to our world!

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Going to the Dogs Again

I finally got most of my older dog pictures scanned the last two days while the weather was chilly, damp and not conducive to hanging out in the southwest sun, which was sparse! As I did so,  I realized again how blessed I have been in the canine department.

I've told you about Alanna. She was such an amazing dog that I have to share a couple more pictures of her. The first was within days after we got her from the Humane Society in Colorado Springs. She was about three months old. She came home the same day we got our new Ramcharger 4-wheel drive SUV after being stuck in a blizzard a couple of months before and scared seriously! She barfed and I was so glad I insisted to the silly salesman that I didn't want nice plush carpet but rubber mat flooring. It was the only time she got car sick that I recall, though. She grew to be quite a traveler. The other one is several years later when we were back in Arizona after living north of Sacramento, CA for a few years. She got some fox tail grass seeds embedded in her skin and had to be almost shaved to remove them. She was soooo miserable and depressed but her lovely coat did grow back.

Then I have talked of little Butch. He was probably most if not purebred Brittany Spaniel and one of the sweetest dogs I ever knew. He had some cute ways and was very photogrenic. One shot shows him in the watering well around a tree we had planted, watching my hubby and me work in the yard. We called it his foxhole! The other he is in his sentry pose, very alert and watchful. He was a total sweetie and I still miss him.


And I cannot forget Sadie, who shared three years of widowhood with me before she finally got tired and old enough to go join Butch and Jim across the Rainbow Bridge to wait for me. She overlapped for about two and a half years with Rico, my first Aussie, who joined us early in the year after Jim and Butch had departed. Sadie was a sweet and happy girl but she never stopped grieving for her beloved master and her canine partner and I knew that. I cried to let her go but I knew it was right. Jim was there in spirit and touched my shoulder when I was burying Sadie in the yard at my old home in Whetstone, just outside of Huachuca City, AZ, three years and ten days after he and Butch had departed.

 Sadie was so black for several years that it was hard to get a good picture of her--there was no contrast! But in her later years she got white on her muzzle and a bit around her eyes. Jim said that was her lipstick and eye shadow. It did set off her face! She was a very feminine girl despite being a tomboy who loved to run, scramble around and ride.

Yes, starting with my dear Flash back when I was just a ten year old, I have had some wonderful dogs! You've met Rico and Belle and Ginger and Rojito. The Powers willing, I shall never be without a dog until the day I die although there was a gap of about three years between Alanna and Butch. It was horrid! I missed having a canine companion soooo much! But we had to wait for the right one.

Some earlier dog posts that you might refer back to were 8-26-13, 7-9-12, 6-8-12, 5-26-12 and 5-2-12.  I ought to set up links to them but my HTML is very rusty and was never too good to begin with. I think you can go to all posts and then down thru the lists by 25s to get to those dates. Maybe I can figure a way to do links in a bit.

Sunday, November 24, 2013

S**w in the desert!

Oh man, when it rains it pours or when it snows it really snows. The meteorologists had been warning about this first big winter storm for several days and we waited--not a lot of wind and no precipitation although it got cloudy and gradually chillier. Well, finally it came, not all bark and no bite at all. The white stuff began to fall about eleven or so last evening. One could feel it coming--the chill damp wind and a kind of oppressive weight in the air. A bit like an impending summer thunderstorm only different. I suppose mostly a subtle change in the barometric pressure. We knew, anyway but still it was a surprise of sorts. Perhaps the most snow we have seen here as we begin our third winter.

At any rate, the last time the dogs were out before bedtime there were tiny stinging flakes or bits flying in a light but chill breeze. I wasn't expecting a lot but we woke today to about 2.5 to 3 inches of white stuff on the ground. Yes, even a desert rat has to admit it was pretty before the fluffy clean blanket was marred as the day wore on. I sat in my big chair by the picture window in the front room and watched as it still fell a bit until mid-morning.

The dogs had various reactions. Kaycee and Beebee, the two Heelers knew the drill from their earlier days in Colorado. They ran around and rooted in it a bit but were glad to come in quickly. Poor little Rojito drags his little tummy in the cold white stuff and was quick to do his business and scoot back in. Ginger is still puppy enough to leap and bound through it, be amazed when I threw her ball and it disappeared into the white blanket, and beg me to go walking which I declined to do! I told her mama does not do cold wet mornings! A bit later I had to laugh though as she paced and circled to beat down a spot before she would squat and do her business so she did not get her heinie wet!


Although the sun has not come out today and is now down at 5:40 MST, the roads have melted and more or less dried and even the sidewalks are mostly clear. Tomorrow the sun is supposed to be out most of the day and much of it will be gone before day's end I am sure. That's fine. I will call this a Yuletide preview and be quite content if we see no more the rest of the winter although that is probably not likely. Right now it is hard to tell what the season will hold. This was a bit early but then it hit the whole southwest hard and was a big and dangerous storm. I understand Arizona got mostly rain  except up in my old college-years home of Flagstaff and the main I-40 corridor and along the Mogollon Rim.  However, New Mexico got snow over about 99% of the state from a foot or more in the northern mountains to enough to snarl traffic and cause problems clear down to near the border.

Friends who like the wintery weather would have loved it so I will share these pictures for their sake. The rest of you, well, yes, as I said, it was pretty! Now it is muddied and tracked and far from pristine but new snow has a beauty. And I always note the quiet, how silent it seems when snow is falling. Roughed out a quick verse on that:

Silence of Snow
It's so quiet when it snows,
Muffling all in frosty down.
Painting over scar and stain
a fluffy frothy bridal gown.

It's so quiet when it snows.
Frosty feathers float around,
Wrapping, covering, blanketing,
Dampening all trace of sound.

It's so quiet when it snows.
Looks so soft but feels so hard,
Sharp and cold and bitter-clean,
For this moment, all unmarred.



Saturday, November 16, 2013

More Pictures

I gained more of an appreciation for old buildings and their photographic possibilities from a friend in Colorado who stayed with us off and on for awhile and was very much into art photography or photography as art. She exhibited and sold some of her excellent work. I am not in that category and do not have the quality of camera she used but it is still fun. So here are a few of mine from today. I am happy to be using digital for the quick ability to see and use them and for the freedom to not worry over wasting costly film! What a boon to an amateur! Anyway, enjoy my efforts!  BTW, the third photo is a zoom in on the center of the second shot but the shadow had overtaken me in the meantime. And remember you can left click on any shot and get a larger view and be able to go from one to the next for a better look.





Pictures!

I'm going to divide today into two posts so I do not bog things down with too many photos!

Ginger and I took an interesting walk today. We went end to end in the Alameda Park which runs for about a mile between White Sands Blvd, Alamogordo's main drag and the business route of the highways, and the Union Pacific tracks. It's a nice park, grassy and favored by dog folks, most of which pick up after their pooches. (Hurrah and a pox on those who do not!!) The city is trying to save the ancient Cottonwood trees--kind of iconic since alamo is cottonwood in Spanish and gordo is large or fat or round. They're trying some chemicals to help the trees extract water better and shed the damaging salts and minerals. Also there have been some new young ones planted. They've already gone golden while the big old ones are kind of spotty right now, half yellow and half still green.

After that we crossed the tracks on 10th street--no, I will not walk or try to drive across the tracks at anywhere but the designated places--and drove up a little-used road to an area where there was once a kind of industrial complex, an old sawmill and some small factories or workshops etc. They are now derelict and deserted but I find old buildings quite photogenic and had been meaning to try a small photo shoot down that way. The light was very moody and evocative with clouds scudding by driven by a very brisk southwest wind at the higher levels. I think that gave a good ambiance!

Then, a couple of days ago, I did go back and get some shots earlier of the Salt Cedar and spangle-top grass that I mentioned a couple of posts back. So first, I'll do the local flora ones and then in a second post I'll share a few of the old buildings.


 Here are the salt cedar and the grass: I love that blue sky in the background! I bet you can see why turquoise has always been one of my favorite colors.. The salt cedar foliage is a pretty color too, don't you agree?  The grass is odd but pretty, subtle color as more goes dull with the approach of winter.

And now some more blue and gold from the park! Ginger and I enjoyed the brisk, damp air--there were a few small squalls even with a bit of thunder over night! The clouds really set things off and give every scene some character and enhancement. Fall is just so very special.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Ten years ago--Scots and Marines!

I did not address it on the day, but November 10 is a significant day also. For one, it is the 'birthday' of the United States Marine Corps which claims to be the oldest or senior of the armed forces of our nation. Most Marine units and most Marine Corps League units (a fraternal organization for former Marines) celebrate the date with an annual very formal dinner and ball. Jim always wanted to go--him in a kilt and me in a long kilted skirt and sash in either the MacDairmada plaid (which he believed was his ancestral line) or one designed for the Marine Corps who had close ties with various of the Highland Regiments in the past. Sadly we did not get to do this. Like we were never able to get to Edinburgh for the annual Tattoo celebration although we collected videos of all that had been so filmed before his death. Jim cherished his Scots heritage, although he was not able to document it, having been adopted and the records sealed to where he could not access them even some seventy years after the fact.

But, it was totally fitting somehow that he should go to the Final Parade on this date which meant a great deal to him. James LeRoy Walton passed from this world on November 10, 2003. So Sunday it had been ten years since he and our little dog Butch departed within minutes of each other for the Great Beyond. That was one of the strangest coincidences--and many say there are no coincidences; I tend to believe this as well--that ever happened to me or involving me. I feel it was fate and the intent of some Divine Power that they should make the journey together. At the time it was a double loss and fierce shock but even then I sensed a rightness about it.

I have not scanned my photos of Butch yet but he was a typical Brittany Spaniel, red and white, and a handsome dog plus one of the sweetest dogs I ever knew. Perhaps not the brightest crayon in the box but gentle, loyal and until he grew old and stiff, loving of fun and especially running. I'll try to get to some of those pictures soon. But I do have the first and last pictures of Jim and me together--the first one taken on our wedding day, September 3, 1971 and the last at his class reunion in the fall of 2003. So I will share them. I was a 'hippie bride' in a dress of green that I had made for myself. We tied the knot in his father's living room before a Methodist minister who asked the two kids still at home if they would accept me for a step mother before he would conduct the ceremony! I thought that was pretty awesome. They both agreed--maybe regretting it later, at least at times, but I think mostly not too dismayed. I think we built a good family.


So go in peace and harmony, my dear life-partner and best friend and my sweet little canine companion. You are both still missed and deeply loved but as you would have wanted, for you said so, Jim, and I know Butch would have agreed, I was to live and not merely exist for the rest of the time I was given to complete my life here. I have tried to do so and have found more friends of all kinds to walk these new miles with me in various ways. I know you will be there to greet me when I pass through the veil and it will be a joyful reunion.

More on Kipling's poem

I erred somewhat. Memory is not to be trusted!! It has been a long time but I should have checked first. C'est la vie. Here is the scoop. Although it does speak of war and battles, it does not commemorate or focus on any particular one but it was well before World War I. While it might not go over well now, it is still profound and somber. And the 'lest we forget' appears as almost a refrain or chorus through the poem. As you can see, it was kind of a hymn and also a warning, and certainly not in praise of war or colonialism, which he was often accused of being. So I was not quite right on; mea culpa. Still I share it for the quality. IMHO, Kipling was a great writer and an early inspiration to me.

"Recessional" is a poem by Rudyard Kipling, which he composed on the occasion of Queen Victoria's Diamond Jubilee in 1897.
The poem is a prayer. It describes two fates that befall even the most powerful people, armies and nations, and that threatened England at the time: passing out of existence, and lapsing from Christian faith into profanity. The prayer entreats God to spare "us" (England) from these fates "lest we forget" the sacrifice of Christ.
The poem went against the celebratory mood of the time, providing instead a reminder of the transient nature of British Imperial power.In the poem Kipling argues that boasting and jingoism, faults of which he was often accused, were inappropriate and vain in light of the permanence of God.
 Text of Poem:


God of our fathers, known of old—
Lord of our far-flung battle line—
Beneath whose awful hand we hold
Dominion over palm and pine—
Lord God of Hosts, be with us yet,
Lest we forget—lest we forget!

The tumult and the shouting dies—
The Captains and the Kings depart—
Still stands Thine ancient sacrifice,
An humble and a contrite heart.
Lord God of Hosts, be with us yet,
Lest we forget—lest we forget!

Far-called our navies melt away—
On dune and headland sinks the fire—
Lo, all our pomp of yesterday
Is one with Nineveh and Tyre!
Judge of the Nations, spare us yet,
Lest we forget—lest we forget!

If, drunk with sight of power, we loose
Wild tongues that have not Thee in awe—
Such boastings as the Gentiles use,
Or lesser breeds without the Law—
Lord God of Hosts, be with us yet,
Lest we forget—lest we forget!

For heathen heart that puts her trust
In reeking tube and iron shard—
All valiant dust that builds on dust,
And guarding calls not Thee to guard.
For frantic boast and foolish word,
Thy Mercy on Thy People, Lord!

Monday, November 11, 2013

A Very Significant Day!!

Today is variously called Remembrance Day, Armistice Day and Veteran's Day. It originally marked the ending of World War I (armistice), now almost a century into the annals of history with many larger and smaller wars happening since. The sixties protest song comes yet to mind "When will they ever learn?" Humanity seems to be contentious, rapacious and much too prone to violence as the solution to any disagreement.  It appalls me.For example, this last Friday two high school football teams got into a brawl on the field. The officials shut down the game and it is a forfeit for both teams. What is wrong with us?

But, those sentiments aside, I still honor and revere the courage folk who don the uniforms and go into danger when it is asked of them--from the American Revolution and even earlier to the current conflicts in various parts of the world. The best defense is still apparently a good offence at times or at least an obvious willingness to draw a line and hold it. I do not approve of this but for now there does not seem to be an alternative, so those who man that line have my heartfelt gratitude and support--regardless.

I no longer am active in the VFW Auxiliary or similar organizations but I carry those memories with pride
and am glad I did my bit when I did--handing out the little "buddy poppies" and collecting donations for aid to veterans and their families; marching in parades and taking part in ceremonies on various patriotic and military commemorations and working in my community for the good of all, as best I could. All of that is a part of my past that I feel good about. Here is a shot of me in the uniform worn by the color guard of VFW Post 10342. A National Commander visited us and told us that to the best of his knowledge ours was the only such group with both Post (actual vets) and Auxiliary (spouses, daughters etc) in a single unit with the exact same uniform. I was normally the "offiicial photographer" but I did march in some parades and carried the Auxiliary banner most of those times. My late husband was the captain and 'drill instructor' for most of that time and managed to get me to kinda march, two left feet and all!!

And last, a poem I wrote for the first Veteran's Day ceremony I took part in as an Auxiliary member.

Veteran's Day
I hear the drum roll in my mind
and then I see, before, behind,
the Silent Legions marching past
to join the Great Parade, at last....

From Flanders Fields and Iwo's sands,
from nameless near and distant lands
where they have fought and bled and died
for to uphold the Nation's Pride
and secure the Peace and Liberty
today enjoyed by you and me...

Each heart with praise should overflow
and gladly search for ways to show
that we remember and we care
and at least in spirit share
their sacrifice, their gift, their pain.
We know they did not die in vain.
   
The torch still burns: we carry on
 the flame kept bright by those now gone.
 They're marching still, they're fighting yet;
 and so must we...lest we forget.                 GMW, Nov 1986


Author's Note on Veteran’s Day:  Written for a tribute for Veteran's Day and first recited at a ceremony held by VFW Post 10342 and its Ladies Auxiliary on 11 November 1986 in Huachuca City, Arizona.  Permission granted to use at no cost for any patriotic purpose supportive of the sentiment in which it is written with credit of authorship to be given.  Published in an anthology by World of Poetry,   GMW

A footnote: The final phrase is a conscious and sincere homage to Kipling's powerful poem on a parallel theme which ends, "Lord God of Hosts, be with us yet, lest we forget. Lest we forget. I'd have to check but I think it referenced the Crimean War. I'll research and post that later. Kipling is a hero and inspiration of mine--loved all his work. GMW.

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Fall advances

Yesterday Ginger and I took our morning walk along the dyke of the northeast drainage canal. Everywhere we could see signs of fall's advance.  The Salt Cedar (an invasive species but very common in the southwest) is turning a carroty rust color. These are shrubs or small trees with ferny looking foliage. You'd expect them to be evergreens but they are only semi-so. They are also called Tamarisk. In the spring they bloom with tiny pink flowers.

The sneeze weeds have gone to seed and are drying up. That is good! And a weedy grass called spangletop showed off its mauve-hued seed heads or panicles, looking  almost misty when the sun shines through them. Mesquite has gone a dull olive now with a few yellow leaves appearing. The quail, which pair up in late spring to mate and raise their clutches, are back in flocks now and scurry off as we pass near their groups. If we get too close, some fly with a great whir and rustle. Ginger wants to chase them!  So fall is here. There was even a white cap from the recent passing storm--that brought us only wind--on the conical peak that looms over Ruidoso and Capitan to the northeast of us. It is over 9000 feet high and was partly burned in last year's Little Bear Fire.

My apricot tree has gone a pretty golden shade and is now losing leaves in every breeze. I did get a picture
the other day. Isn't the gold lovely against the blue sky? Odd, the nectarine and a shade tree in the yard are still quite green. We were supposed to get a frost last night as there was a freeze warning all across southern New Mexico--about on schedule--but it did not get much under 40 at my house. Which is okay! I guess milder weather has its bad side as it goes with the drought that still prevails but I can't object.

With my Druid leanings and their connection to the earth and her seasons I cherish the chance to get out and witness the slow turning of the year's wheel and the subtle signs of each change as it shifts into place. Fall and spring are my favorites. I am less fond of winter although I recognize it is a key to the whole cycle. All of nature needs to rest, regroup and prepare to be active and fertile again when spring comes! Even me--who does slow down with less sun-energy!

The passing storms of course bring some clouds--though no rain here--and result in fabulous sunsets! I tend to take a lot more pictures now that I use a digital camera. It is nice not to have to worry about wasting film. So you snap away, delete the crummy ones at the first viewing and then download the rest to go through more carefully! So here are a couple of my fave new sunsets!  Do you see the dragons in the lower one? One has glowing eyes and the other flies the opposite way! We are blessed here with the most fantastic sunsets I have ever seen any place in my life, spectacular and rather frequent they are.

Last but not least, the night sky is spectacular too when the nights are clear. Favorite old friends in the sky look down as again the patterns shift for the season's change. The big triangle formed by the key stars of The Swan, Aquila and Lyra (also called The Owl) are well to the west now by dark and the swan dives almost straight into the horizon. Orion appears too and other constellations have moved on; the stars of summer are gone. But Cassiopeia, Cepheus, Auriga and others take their place.  I wrote a verse or two about this in the past.

            Late Fall Sky With Orion
Across the broad black bowl of night
The hunter strides his endless way,
His loyal pack hard upon his heels
Torch-bright until the dawn of day.
Perhaps he loves this solitude—
He hunts alone save for his hounds;
With kilt and sword he seeks his prey,
A Highland man who knows no bounds.

                        (c) GMW, 7 Dec 2011

            Winter Sky    
The swan with kami-kazi song
Its dagger drives into the west,
While eastward rising, beacon bright,   
With brilliant torch does Sirius light
The hunter’s way across the night,        
       Along the silver stream.     
Upon their thrones, the mythic pair
Reign over cold and darkness now.
And the fiery chariot of the north,
Led by Capella, flashes forth.   
Displayed on velvet, a fortune’s worth
      Of jewels may fill my dream.
                        (c) GMW, 1996


Friday, November 1, 2013

Introspective Verses

In the past I compiled two books of poetry, one commercially published and the other self-published in a very basic form for family and friends. The former is Walking Down My Shadows which is available from Eternal Press, now a subsidiary of Damnation Books.(No comment on the firm's name, please. I had nothing to do with it and do not either praise or condemn.) The other was Mother-Daughter Lines and included poems my mother had written which I found while going through her personal papers and souvenirs after her passing. There were some odd parallels in our writing such as the fact we both wrote our first simple verses at the age of eight! We also addressed similar topics at parallel stages or our growth and maturing. It was rather interesting and also odd so I put them in a book.

However I find there is a good bit of my work that didn't make it into either book. I'm collecting and reworking the earlier collections now. Some I have written since or found after the books were completed and others were left out to keep them from being even more top-heavy than they were!  I am such a wordy and prolific writer, often to my sheer chagrin! Much of it should be ruthlessly consigned to the flames but I cannot quite bring myself to do it. I'll leave that to my beleaguered heirs who will have to deal with my dubious legacy! I smirk a little, paraphrasing the little mot: I smile because you're my kids and laugh because there is not one thing you can do about it!

Anyway I came across a few verses recently that perhaps offer a streaked window into who and what I am and for what it's worth, I will share them here. Raspberries, boos and hisses or mild kudos are all acceptable as comments LOL. Poetry is a very personal and individual thing; these words won't say to most readers what I actually felt nor will any two read them exactly the same, I am sure. That is okay. Art of all kinds is subjective and everyone puts his or her unique perspective into viewing any work of art.

What, no pictures? Sorry, maybe tomorrow!

Two Verses, Dec 2011 (composed shortly after I moved into my current home)

            A Last Home
Coming home to a new place
That never has felt strange.
Hills and heat and dusty dry
Are all my heart’s home range.

Settling down in this new place
That’s never felt unknown;
Desert mountains edge the space
Like every home I’ve known.

I plant roses, dig my dirt
To stake my heart-home claim.
Feel a sense of deja-vu
As if it knew my name.

Maybe it’s the final home
That this life has for me.
If so I think I am content
And I will let it be.

            Relics and Ruins
Sifting through the ruins now—
Shards of dreams and long gone days--
I shake my head and wonder
At the tangle of life’s ways.
Souvenirs I chose to keep
And those I cast away
Strike me now both wise and strange
As I look on them today.
The one I used to be still lurks 
In who I have become;
Loves and dreams and plans built
This self, all I grew from.
The product of a rocky path—
Scars, obvious and unseen
Strength and courage to go on
To a future that seemed mean.
Yet it is good to be here now
Where I was meant to be;
The journey near an end somehow,
And the time for flying free.

And one written early this year: 

Turn Another Page...
Time to turn another page
As once again life changes.
We live, we grow, we learn, we age
As destiny rearranges
The pattern of our days.
We start in new directions.
Follow down new winding ways
And seek new intersections.

We shut the door behind
Though sometimes memories follow
To which we can’t be blind
However hard to swallow
Are those remnants of the past
Be they pleasant, raw or tragic
They are with us to the last
And by time’s fateful magic

They weave through the design
That makes us who we are
As pressure and heat refine
From dross the golden star.
Would we still be the same
If somehow we had missed
Each stumble, strike and blame
That comes as we exist?

We thrive on complication,
Threats, challenges and such.
Cloying sweet stagnation
Would smother us so much!
If life were bland and tame
And our strength never tested—
What purpose to a game
With no records to be bested?