Memoir Monday, Oct 31, 1964

Finally over the mumps and back to business as usual, more or less. The day before had worked out well, one of those Fridays I looked forward to...  It was still vivid in my mind. 

Oct 31, 1964 Sat

I got up a bit late since I went to bed at 11:00 last night. Fed, etc. I don’t care for sorting moldy hay but this isn’t too bad. Mom drove us out and we did our chores. I saddled Annie and went for the  mail. I got letters from Norm and Baird, very nice ones. I really like Norm and I guess after Dusty is gone I’ll look forward to his letters more. But forgetting Dusty is not going to be easy… I led Chief and Bravo and rode Leo this morning. Mom took a photo of me on Leo. That will be for Norm, maybe --and Dusty. After l ate lunch we drove down to Middle Verde and got a ton of that %^&* filthy hay from Gimlin to stretch the alfalfa. We got an oil well check today--$3.73.  We nearly died. It was funny except we really needed some funds.  We were awfully late getting the chores done so just dispensed with Halloween activities. I don’t care; I’m not too enthused with that sort of thing any more. I dreamed of Dusty and Baird both last night, all mixed together.  Golly, how can I stand it? A week from now he’ll be gone. Somehow I’ll have tell him. I guess I’ll give him that poem I wrote as a parting gift. And I wonder what he’ll say. But I daren’t even think of that. Now I’ll get myself cleaned up for this trip tomorrow. My nails are pink even if Dusty doesn’t like “war paint." If he’s crazy enough to love me as I am, who am I to argue with him? I just have to love him back. Dusty Darlin’, you know I do.

To continue about the 30th, Dad had gone to Phoenix with the big truck for hay and I was out with Prez leading the colts and two year olds after the pasture work was done. I knew no one was going to be paying too close attention so I got going. It was coming on to noon and I headed out along the highway kind of hoping... Dusty caught me short of the pass so I told  him to go on and we'd meet down in the 'sag' between Clarkdale and Cottonwood. He did and we talked for an hour. I got a couple of pictures of him with the Plymouth and heard the dreaded news that they would likely be pulling out in another week.  We'd known it was coming but that made it even harder to say goodbye. That big L word had not actually been said by either of us so far and it wasn't literally spoken for awhile yet. It was maybe easier to write but that was still ahead too. Right now I was not really sure there would be any keeping in touch.  I hoped...which was all I could do at this point.

The photo Mom took of me on Leo was shared several places and eventually was made into an oil painting by my friend Judy who lived in Southern California. The old tin sheds in the background morphed into scenery she knew from her area in that picture. I still have it on my living room wall. It must have been fairly warm for the end of October since I was wearing a short sleeved shirt, one I had made earlier that year. It was pink and black which I did not tell Judy so she improvised. I guess I had been riding Leo about two months at this point and he was doing well. I do not think he even really knew he was a stallion! At any rate he was 95% a sweet tractable mount and his rare little acting outs were mild.

Bad hay--the bane of my existence or a major one at least. We had just gotten a big load of better alfalfa from Phoenix, but we'd get junk too and try to stretch the more expensive stuff and save it for the best horses. I sorted many a handful to get out the mold, burrs and anything else that was not fit to be eaten. I do not doubt that it caused some some health issues anyway and really resented having to resort to that. And that oil well--it came with the Texas property Dad had talked his siblings into deeding to him and there were royalties that varied all over the place depending on the amount they pumped and going prices. And the trip coming? I have no idea without looking it up. 

I don't know if I can find the poem I refer to or not; it is probably in Walking Down My Shadows. I may be able to identify it by the date. I found it--I think--and it will be at the end, even below the photos! In the FWIW department--not deathless verse though heartfelt.

So now some pix! The first is that one of me on Leo followed by Judy's interpretation.  Then there is Dusty in working clothes since he had just shut down for the weekend at noon on Friday. And finally, the Plymouth wagon I christened Moonspinner. (Me and my kookie names for things!) And below that , the verse I had written. At least one of many!

Farewell  (10-19-64)

Dusty, Dearest Dusty

What am I going to do

When the time rolls round that I

Must say goodbye to you?

Dusty, Dearest Dusty,

I’m afraid that I will cry

When the bridges are all mended

And we have to say goodbye.

Dusty, I keep asking

Whatever will I say

When they pull out the camp cars

And you have to go away?

I didn’t mean to love you

But you made me, anyway

So now what am I going to do

When you leave someday?

Dusty, Dearest Dusty

Don’t you know I’ll grieve

When we talk the last time

Just before you leave?

Promise me this, Dusty,

That you won’t forget me.

I tried not to love you, Dear,

But you wouldn’t let me.