Monday Memoir, June 1, 1969

 

The End was in sight and the move was in progress, actually having gone well enough once it was mostly over. So often worries and dreads end up being rather extraneous and pointless. 

May 26, 1968  Sunday

I'm sitting here on the sofa in my front room. I've written the folks and brought a suitcase of clothes over. Damn, if I could only get a car. Carolyn finked out on me yesterday or I'd have it all over here by now.  That burns me no end and I think I might go 'home' (to the dorm) and iron my curtains and come back and put them up,  Going by McLellan's for a couple of rods. That would be a step toward getting the job done. I'll think about it anyway. I'll go home and wash the bedroom curtains byhand, iron them, come back to fix a sandwich or two and then decide what to try next. 

May 27.1968  Monday

What a crazy day. I went to bed over an hour ago at 10:30 but I couldn't go to sleep so thought I might as as well get up and write about this day.  My room looks so bare and empy with about 90% of my junk over at the apartment. JoAnn and I did that with the help of Phil Jenson  and Lois's Pontiac. It took three trips --poor Phil. But we boughth him a twelve  pack of tall Coors and then JoAnn drank one and I drank a snifter of brandy Phil is a western artist, not quite in the Russel and Remington class but really good! I'd never have guessed and I now wish I gotten acquainted with him sooner as I think he'd be much more rewarding to know than Forester Ray.\After all He is a polelock!

I sure did not have any luck with my cussed programs. That really ticks me no end. But I got 88% on my Santa Fe paper--damn, I mean I was really surprised about that. I kid yuou not--I was figuring 65% would have been good. So I might pull a 1 in there yet and should at least swing a 2 unless I really blowo the final. And I've got to do a strong two going into accounting which I hope to hold.  I'll have to see what I can do with Knox. If I do a banup job on the final, I might get by better. So far I've been just below a 1 in there. That's ugly. Four ones and two 2s would not be bad but I hate to split it even. And I'm not really sure sure of any 1's

I've got to forget about all my exciting summer for just 2 1/2 days, My mind is racing like a caged little rodent tonight which is why I can't get to sleep.  But I've got to concentrate. How, how, how?? Haven't heard from Mary .I guess she's still planning to come up but I really don't k now. I wish she'd tell me. It really doesn't matter, I guess, but I'd still like to know. Lost a filling tfrom a tooth today so now I've got to go to the dentist and I can't afford it, That really ticked me off. Girl, it's the wee bitching hour of 12:00 and time all fools were dead to the world. 

Explain: Phil Jenson is  a guy I may have mntioned before. I called him "Richard Burton" as there was some reesmblence. He was a forester and in Ray's gang so I did know him. He was always polite and nice to me. Lois  is his girlfriend and I think they were quite attached, probably engaged. She is rather plain but a very nice 'outdoorsy' girl.

May 28, 1968 Tuesday

Finals week begins. I got up at 6:00 and pored over my DAPR notes for about an hour. At 8:00 I went over to English. Ron joined me and  we went right over to BizAdm together  and directly I set to work still struggling with my programs for awhile and then went up to the classroom. We studied for awhile and mostly talked. I have not talked that easily to a fellow in ages but it is becasue I just likek him as a friend. He really is nice/ 

The test was a whopper. I don't think I did bad but how well I coundn't say. It really wrung me out though. Had lunch with Phil and then scurried over to the apartment. Carolyn and Les (her boy friend) brought the folding bed over. I got my curtains up in the bed room hung temporarily on a string and unpacked just a efw things.  Got dressed up for the scholarship presentation ceremony. Thank goodness I did . It was pretty formal and in the President's office, no less. But I think Dr McDonald had five times the presence of J Larence Walkup.  Pflutt. I got my paepr back; Mr Davis was just pulling it out of his box when I passsed. I got a big "1" from Dr Downum but he did not write any remarks, just said he enjoyed rading it. That's happy.to get a 1; now I should for the course. . 

The Management test was tough but not really hard. I should have an  A or  1 sewed up in there.  I think I beat Marty Grimes in every test up until now. Early tomorrow mornng it is finance. I'l have to drop by Torgy's office and ask about my paper and cheerfully comment on AT&SF hitting a new high of $36 last week. That should impress the old boy. 

Then I can move more stuff, sell a few books and go to Marketing, return my paper to Davis etc. etc. And spend the evening in the library really studying acconting. That test is going to be  super tough and it is important. And then I can check out of the dorm and be done except for seeing Mr Knox on Friday. Hallelulah. I'm going to be so glad to be through with this semesxter. 

May 29, 1968 Wednesday

Finals are going fine. Last final exam period I was caught up in the manic phase of my madness, subject to some feelings of guilt and torn by conflcting loyalties. I have since recovered my sanity, settled wtih my conscience and collected my loyalty to one center--myself. Things are not quite marvy and groovy perhaps but they are on the line and about my last small problem is now solved by Betty's offer to drive my last load over in the morning on her way to East Flag. I turned down a chance to go drinking to be here in the library tonight for at lea t three hours of conscientious study for my last exam. Mr Knox gave me permission to work on my project this summer so for awhile I'll have a "7" in there. Lane said he was giving me a 1. I had  a 2 for class participation but he could not justify  it with 100 and 100 and 95 on formals and all briefs for the total course.  I should have 1s in Tech Writing and Manaagemetn, I think, and probably a 2 in Finance. Now if I can just do okay on my accounting and swing a 2 in there I'll be happy. I'm dying to find out how I did in some of the other things but I have to be patient for a few days.. I better quit and get to work. Thank goodnes "G'ma" is staying away for a little extra long. After 10:00 I can die if necessary but not sooner. Well, I guess I shoild get checked out of the dorm first.. 

June 1, 1968  Saturday

Nothing was written on this day but I made a drastic sudden move that threw the next two weeks off. When I learned Charlie Mike had been hospitalized with a very serious asthma attack, I made a fast decision to take the train and get out to Sacramento. I guess the folks called at the dorm but I cannot recall how I was notified. He came through it okay and met me with the folks in Stockton but I did not regret that decision.  My reports may be spotty  for awhile so preparee for that.  I'll reconstruct what I can for a few days or even weeks and then get back on semi-track to complete the summer.  At least a part of it! 

FWIW, I ended the 4th semester with three of each grade.  It could have been worse. I finally gave up on the Dapr projects and edged out a 2 there. The others were expected and not really shocking. Not my best semester but really nothing to be ashamed of although it basically decided me on a serious switch in accademic direction which happened for the fall semester. In summary: 

            Principles of Management    (??)        3 hrs—1
            Computer Programming (Knox)         3 hrs—2
            Report/Tech Writing      (Davis)          3 hrs—1
            Intermediate Accounting (Gardner)    3 hrs—2
            Principles of Finance   (Torgueson)    3 hrs—2
            Promotion/Marketing  (Lane)              3 hrs—1

  Photos? I really never got pictures of the business department's buildings as they had several. Many clases were scattered around campus, really,. The DAPR classes and labs were in their own building, anyway, I expect they had to have some special wiring and a genearator or other back-up support to keep the key machines working in case of outages. I featured the apartment on the 18th post I think. So what?  Maybe the Flagstaff Santa Fe depot and a pasenger train... Here is The Chief, westbound and me at the depot at a previous time--when I sent Charlie Mike off the prior fall.. 

Memoir Monday, May 25, 1968

Ch-ch-ch-changes.  The big change was actual moving and it was smushed in with finals and the business of checking out of the dorm and too many other urgent things.  At least I did not have to worry about going 'home' to whatever might be happening there; there was no 'home' to go to. I simply changed a small solitary room for a slightly larger space to be shared but mostly looked forward to that. As the primary renter for the whole time, I did have a home with a real address and in time even a telephone. At that point it was a major step up in many ways. 

May 19, 1969 Sunday

Well, I got a thing or two done this weekend again. Not as much as I hould have, though. Yesterday I packed, went over to the apartment and rearrnged the furniture some and then bought curtain fabric and  tennies and sandals for summer wear. Made up the curtains and read "A Princess of Mars" by Edgar Rice Burroughs. I sunned in the quad for an hour and that's about it. Today I did my marketing case, including the formal and typed Balt Lozano's term paper. I washed and sunned another hour and made a peasant blouse pattern for Betty. I guess I'll also have to dream up a little gift for Michal Ann as a goodbye present, They have both been good friends to me this semester. 

Damn, I haven't done a thing on my Data Processing since Friday night. I got three of the problems on Friday though. Nor have  I studied for that stupid Finance test but I know I've blown that class so why worry? Everyone says Torgy's tests are really screwed anyway and now I sure do beleive it. He's bad news coming and going. Guess I should wash myhair. It is that or study. Which is the lesser of the two evils? I don't feel too good. My teeth are aching and I pulled a muscle in my back and side (where Buzzie flipped me over the corral gate that once) and I do believe I've got another cold. Oh sh**. Tomorrow I've got to prepare my speech. I'm not really looking forward to that. I wonder if I could manage to lose my voice again? Maybe at least for Tuesday if I could. I've got to at east get that cussed Dapr project started. I might be able to get permission to finish it during the summer but I have to make at least a basic effort. I think maybe I can use the Q Spec to get the genotype arrays worked out. That would be my first attempt anyway. Time to buzz off.

Explain: Balt Lozano had graduatd from Mingus a few years after me. I am not sure if he was a freshman or higher. Anyway, I had started doing a few term papers for pay--some just typing, others demanding research, bibliography and detailed notes from which I would write them, trying not to sound too advanced!. I was a writer, after all.Probably did half a dozen at least.

May22, 1968 Wednesday

The end is nigh. I feel vaguely ill today--another case of too little sleep mostly and the sickening knowledge of too much still to do. I'm pretty safe everywhere except Dapr. It's ugly but I may make it yet. I'll try.

I got 90 on Dr Torgueson's little quiz on Monday sharing top spot with several others. I could hardly believe  my eyes. Balt's paper is done and given to him (paid me what I asked, too) and I may have sold some of the shoes;I  had way too many.. Every little dollar helps and that may make $10 or more.at best. I won't have many books to sell this time but I didn't put any of this in my budget so its kind of  "gravy".  I'll be getting $700 per semester next year. If only I don't have to go to summer school, I'll be okay but I hardly see how I can get all the hours if I don't. Well, I'll worry about it when I get there. I could go one session now  for about $250. So far I only have $800 NDSL debt. so I guess I could borrow $200 if I had to, and/or work. 

Explain: NDSL was National Defense Student Loans, a natiowide project that went with Pell Grants and other aid to students.The grants supplemented my scholarships and I only borrowed a little. 

May 24,1968  Friday

Friday at last and my last Friday except for the nice little accounting test next Frday. I've got to get a 2 on that and I don't know beans about the material. Well. I've got lots of time to study. 

Mooving time and it is quite an exciting prospect. Probably tomorrow will be the big day. I'll go over and clean either tonight or early in the morning. I've got to put some time on the Dapr today. Last night I want to the library and read a novel. I could've kicked myself for that because I have not got enough time but there was a regular mob in the DAPR lab with  120 kids in there trying too finish up. Cuss my luck. 

I do not have a single appropriate photo! Oh, I could show the ancient machines they had the the "computer lab" again. Talk about shits and giggles!! At that time they were the latest of the greatest or at least within a state college's budget. I was using equipment of this era to try to do the programs and projects assigned. I really cannot recall what the big project was about. Genotypes? Draw a blank! Sadly it never got done. That covered later.

Memoir Monday, May 18, 1968

 That money sure came in handy and I was able not to sweat the coming summer quite so much. Jobs took a back seat and then by the end of the semester, the visits by Mary and Judy both were OBE and dropped off the plan. I was disappointed but in an obscure way also relieved. In a few more days, the new residence was arranged  and one issue was resolved! 

May 14, 1969  Tuesday

The time was whizzing by. I sort of wasted the weekend with sewing and apartment hunting so now I'll have to dig in and make up for it. I still sort of cringe when I see Dr Torgueson because of that paper--thinking back, it was really lousy or just not  too bad.?

I went to the opera with Michal Ann last night. It was "Madam Butterfly"  sung in English. Gwen Castillo, the lead soprano, is quite good. Oh, she'll never rival Renata Tibaldi or Maria Kallas but she put most of the cast to shame. I didn't care for the tenor,  but Roger Audrey as Sharpless was quite good. Bette Bennjamine was Suzuki and she has a harsh voice in the upper ranges. it was still really enjoyable though. It was one of my favoroites that I grew up with under teh folks' influence.  Lily Pons--oh my.   I'm glad I went. 

After English I go to pay a $20 deposit on my future abode. Carolyn Grenig and Ellen McAdams may be living there too. We should have quite a giddy old time. Well, I've got to write my report for Managment and finish working on a Lazano boy's term paper--so hasta luego. 

May 15, 1969 Wednesday

I am now the rentor of an apartment and $95 pooer than I was.  Carolyn is going to start moving this weekend so I will probably take advantage of her transportation some. I want to go over with a broom and clean the place up  before I do much moving but I guess I could stack boxes on the floor as is. It's kind of nifty. I don't think I'll be sorry at all. Even though it is going to be a little expensive. Really not too much more than storage and all that bother, and I only have to pay fiull rent for two months. Plus $15 deposit to have the frugging electricity turned on. That is a trifle ugly, but no matter. 

I know I'll enjoy fixing it up and I'll have two weeks to spend on the project while Mary is here. I hope she won't mind! But after all, she won't have to be paying as much as living in the dorm so she should not gripe. She's not the griping kind,. amyway. Damn, I'm tired. I got my recommendation paper written. It didn't come too easy. In the morning, I'll do my marketing case for Friday before running over to Davis's officew with my paper and then up town with Carolyn to get the electricity taken care of. Our rent officially begins as of Monday so I probably won't move much until next weekend. (Just before finals!) 

I am rambling. I'd better get off to bed and catch up on sleep. Tomorrow I've got to dig in on my Dapr work. I've put it off entirely too long and now I'll be lucky if I get it done in time. Serves me right, I guiess. 

Pictures? Not sure I have one of that old house on the street called Agassiz that is current with that time. I can look. It was quaint and old fashioned but I really enjoyed the two years I was there. It was 17 South Agassiz and my apartment was #1,. I might sketch a floor plan later. The first shot was two years later--as I was leaving, My apartment was left of the little foyer, right behind the van. The next was in about 2008 or 9. The place still looked much the same but repainted and spruced up a bit. The window to the left of the entry was in my lviing room. Different trees after all those years,  almost 40.  I was past there in 2021 and apparently did not get a photo. It was gray and rainy and the area looked very shabby. Whether students still rented there or not I did not know. Someone had a yard sale set  up under trees, heavy ones by then, but getting drowned out. It was actually quite depressing. I queried on line last night and it is still there and renting but several other houses in that area are demolished or falling to ruin. Pic from rental ad last.

 

 

Memoir Monday. May 11, 1968

 The last few weeks were flying by...time for changes and one began to take shape. There were days when it all stood still and now and then one when a sudden leap happened and I found myself on a new route.  Would it work out? Would it be worth the effort? Time to shove second thoughts aside and just get 'er done. Changes--some I was leaning toward but still very uncertain. I do tend to be a stuck-in-the-rut type person. All too often, Taureans are creatures of habit.  Would it really be worth the effort?  Hush, just do it.

May 6, 1969  Monday

The AT&SF is rolling--I really knocked myself out on it this weekend. I am not very pleased with it though with each reading it looks a little better. I guess I won't hang my head too low. Now for the other one and then my Dapr projects.  That will be quite a go-round, I reckon. It is mighty windy this morning. I am cutting marketing, mainly just too lazy to get my carcass down there and I really wanted to go over that paper once more. 

Only four more weeks now. I've got to get on the stick and get my summer plans worked out but right now I'm sort of waiting on Mary and Judy. Judy seems to feel it's all systems go. I figure I'd better get a job so I'll be sure to have enough money. Actually the folks still owe me $196 with all the horses and saddles subtracted from the balance, but I don't imagine I'll get it any time soon. That would fix me for the summer, but I'll just have to earn it myself.

I'm presently sending out some inqueries about housing and jobs. For sure I can swing 1st session with Judy but I'd like to do a little better than that. After my second paper, I've got to begin sorting and packing. I really need another trunk but may not be able to afford it. I'll have to see. I won't be selling back many books this time. And I really need to have two teeth pulled. That's at least $12.00 and probably more. Need new glasses too. Oh money, it is the rattiest stuff. Screws up everything. Well, I'd better be getting ready to go. It's nearly quarter 'til and I don't want to be late. (ha ha).

May 9, 1969 Thursday

And now big paper number 2 is done. And I am proud of it. It's neat and well written, at least as far as  I can judge it. After being dismally depressed for awhile I feel pretty good this morning. Now, if I can get one or two of my programs to run and if I get some mail, I'll be real cheerful. Looks like I'll have to go to Cottonwood if I want my $50. That kind of ticks me off but that is how people are. 

Tonight I guess I'll get dressed up and go hear Miss Reckner's talk. I think Michal Ann is going. So that means I'd better do my research for that managment report this morning and then I can spend the afternoon in the computer lab. And sometime I've got to write a marketing case and do an accounting problm for tomorrow. Would you believe only 22 more days??

Gee, that's something else and I've stil got a lot to do. But it's such a relief to have those two term paaers done. The damn Data Processing ...but I'll get it done just by plugging along I'd sure.  Like to have a 1 on that class, I can't possilby get a 1 in Accounting and probably not in Finance so I need all I can get. I've got Management and Marketing sewed up unless I really goof bad and I think I've earned a 1 in Tech/Report Writing so that leaves Dapr and Finance to struggle with while I do the best I can in Accounting. I've got to get preregistered pdq. If Dr Downum does not call me I'll try to run up tomorrow right at 1:30 and get started anyway. I still can't decide about a major and that's bugging me. I go eenie, meanie between accunting and marketing. Oh fudge.

Later: Well, its been quite a day. I'm $135 richer thanks to Uncle Dan and Chief's new people. I safely mailed it to my account and it should be deposited tomorrow. I went up to see Dr Downum. He is really a great old boy and I like him loads. His advice, and getting the money decided me to move off campus, I bought a paper and I've got a list of numbers to call in the morning. Saturday I'll go see any possibilities. I just can't see running down to Nancy's ths weekend. I may call her though, out of courtesy.

Guess I should go wash my hair. Maybe I will and braid it and curl the ends. Oh, my posters came, too. Leonard Nimoy for Judy is in color and my Good and Bad are pretty cool. Guess they were worth the $4 after all. I'm bushed. Tomorrow is going to be busy even if I have got my papers done so maybe I'll just shower and turn in for a ittle extra shut-eye. It's really not all that early

Obviously I let the major issue ride. And why Marketing and Accounting? I cannot recall at all but those seem rather unlikely. Yes, accounting of the forensic type for pre-law but Marketing?? How to sell yourself to others maybe because I always whined I could not sell fridges on Fuji Island or stoves to the Eskimos. Management might make more sense. But then I was wanting to back off from all the business stuff. It had lost all appeal. That took a little longer. However, I did dive into the project of finding an off-campus residence and that happened about the end of this semester.

Pictures? That is a challenge here.  Looking back to the same period a year before, I think how different my life had become in just twelve months.  I remember helping Mary pack her things which she sent ahead to Tucson on the bus. Morton Hall had been home since September 8, two different rooms and roommates. 

Then a night or two before or after that, I had gone out with Dusty, little knowing it would be the last time I would. The Little Bluebird--so many good memories but some sadness too. "Never" is such a dark, hard, final word when it covers a keen pain of loss. Some you can never forget. 

Monday Memoir, May 4, 1968

 Just a month more...how have two years flown by so very quickly?  The fact that college days are not infinite and will end much sooner than I had even considered suddenly appears. And that very thorny, puzzling question: What in the blazes am I going to do after that? Goals were dim, vague and really did not feel promising anymore. I almost wish I could just stay closeted in academia forever. I could almost guarantee good grades if I chose my subjects carefully. I could write papers until doom's day. I could...but who would pay me for that?

Did I skip my birthday intentionally? Perhaps I did.Nothing of any consequensce occurred for sure and I almost resented finding myself half way from tweny to thirty which at that point seemed very aged. 

April 28, 1968  Sunday

Almost April 29 actually. It's been a busy weekend but rather nice. Part of it, anyway. I got up early Saturday and was in the library by 8:30. I stayed until 12:30 and got my paper rough-drafted. All afternoon I worked on Wall Street Journals except for going to buy some strawberries for a birthday treat. 

Today I typed my rough copy, read my Acttg, washed and colored my hair, called the folks and went to see The Graduate. Had a Tom Collins before hand. They slide down so easy and almost a favorite drink now.. The movie was good. Simon and Garfunkle's songs do a lot for it. It is a devastating satire, cuts almost everything about today. I would not quite put it in my favorites list but that is pretty exclusive. 

Dale called tonight. He is in LA and trying too get on with Greyhound, would you believe? Old bad penny himself who cannot be gotten rid of! It's bedtime. No marketing at 8:00 in the morning and no morning class on Tuesday either. I'll get lazy, won't I? (Fat chance!) My color pictures came and they are cool.I've just got to get some of me now. Maybe Dale would oblidge me.

April 30, 1968  Tuesday

April went out pretty lamblike weatherwise. I rather wasted the day but probably needed a break. I was sitting doing my accounting when Dale called. He was at the Monte. So I met him up town and we had coffee and talked until 11:30 when he walked me back down to the dorm. At 3:00 after Dapr, I went back up. He was asleep but I woke him up and shared the bed for awhile. I was really all set to tell him that it just wouldn't work and I wasn't going to see him anymore but he was talking how I had restored his faith in people and himself etc. so I could hardly send him off to Greyhound training that way as he is a bit spooked about it already. I had to be nice. He bought me a hamburger for dinner with about his last dollar or two and walked me down to class. I kissed him goodbye and sent him off to Albuquerque where he is staying with his parents regardless of some hard feelings. Coming down I'm sure Forester Ray passed us by Foodtown but probably didn't notice and I saw Stacy uptown in the AM at one of the finance companies, but he didn't see me.  I'm afraid I do have a "dark and roving eye" even if my mother was not an acrobat. My Pap was a wild man so that's a substitute, quite adequate. 

I am not in love with Dale, I don't really even love him. He was sleeping there with an arm across me and I was a million miles away. I kind of like him because he is fun and funny and I feel kind of sorry for him because he has had a rough time though I suspect he brought most of it on himself. But I  may as well face facts. I am already twenty-five and and one flamboyant and defiant fairy tale romance is about all a girl can expect. I may well never meet another man who hits me the way Dusty did. So I had better decide whether I pick an intellectual and spend my life stretching to match him or a non-intellectual and be comfortable but mentally bored. Or play it fast and free, or be bull-headed and wait for Mr Perfect even if he is 100 light years away. I really can't have my cake and eat it too and were I to meet him being obviously 'slightly used' what would he think? (I can't forget that my male parent never quite let Mom forget she was not snow-white pure when they met. She soon rued that single error bitterly, I think. Just once but that was enough.) I shall have to have been secretly married, won't I?

May 3, 1968 Sunday

Long time no me? Not really but in the past week I've been a few rounds. Had a birthday, had a drink, seen a good movie and rolled over, not in the clover, at least once. Is that enough? And I have almost finished the Incorporation Paper, started on the ATSF company and stock value one and will finish both this weekend to meet the 9:00 Monday deadline. 

The Freshman Carnival is tonight. I am not sure whether I will go or not. I painted some items for  the  worthy endeavor since Campbell Hall has a discotheque booth with espresso and fortune telling. It really sounds kind of like fun in a silly way so maybe I wil take a break and go for a couple of hours. Then get back to my cage to work. Have to run up town and get a little chow after 3:00 but I don't intend to get too involved or spend a lot of time. Maybe I'll cash a $10 check so as to have a little loose change. It is too aerly in the month to get the $5.00 from Kentucky, so soon after my birthday. There are several little things I do need to buy though 

Just one picture:  When I look back today at the "real" loves of my life, there is only one that  I knew in the spring of 1969. None of them were truly "cowboys" nor "princes" nor really exactly any of the ideals I thought I was seeking at that time. Did I mature? Did I settle? Did I have to wait for the right people and/or the right time? I am not sure. I did pick a couple of good ones--never quite another Dusty, who oddly I still love to this very day-- but perhaps who I was supposed to hook up with long-term including a 32 year marriage and a longish relationship after that when I was again single. The last two here readers will not meet in this first memoir which ended with my marriage. Will I write the rest? I really cannot say.

Memoir Monday, April 27, 1968

 No decisions yet but at least two potential changes were starting to take shape. Moving off campus was one and changing my main area of studies from Business to Social Studies under Liberal Arts were beginning to look like12 possibilities and even goals. I was getting frustrated as accounting moved into advanced stages and far outreached basic mathematics and number crunching with more esoteric and /to me--almost obscure purposes. Other business courses were really not interesting or feeling  relevant to me. I was definitely not an MBA candidate.  Living alone in one small room was almost enforcing my reclusive tendencies and although I would never be a real extrovert, solitude and isolation were starting to exacerbate depression. I had a long way to go yet but it was an initial step in finding who and what my real self was. Perhaps that is part of what higher education is for.

April 21, 1968 Sunday

It was snowing and ugly and I skipped the rodeo. They may not even have had it for all I know. I got two  more marketing cases done, ironed and exchanged some clothes and made my poncho, a ;plaid one trimmed in red. Went to the movie with Robin--it was "Wait 'Til Dark" which I saw in Tucson with Mary, but it is still a good show and I have always koved Audrey Hepburn. She is so cool. Well, the next two weeks I am going to be one very busy little gal. Starting tomorrow... So I think I'll go to bed directly and get a few extra minutes of shut-eye in preparation.  

April 22, 1968  Monday

A month into spring but the snow is half a foot deep outside and still sifting down, silent silevery flakes, driven errant by a rising wind. Still feeling kind of detached. Maybe I can grab Stacy Newton temporarily. It would definitely be temporarily as he is a temporary type! Or I might try Ken Lincoln. I haven't even seen him yet but if Alice W could, I could too, if I shouild so desire  I look nineteen and think thirty so I should be just what the doctor ordered for these slightly jaded chaps of aerly middle age. Safely legal but still seeming youthful.  I have definitlyl lost my innocence and timidity but have not quite become a full fledged pussy-cat because I still think of myself as a "good" girl even if not quite nice. Or is it vice versa? I never sleep with non-whites--so far--no teenagers, no real hippies or surfers or my friend's husbands, I am really quite honorable. So far even, if I can say so, I've stuck with blue eyed anglo-saxons  and I basically intend to continue that poluicy . I'd hate to have a brown eyed kid and one must remember there is always that chance no matter what precautions one attemps. 

Oh, wasn't I on a tear that day!  Actually a lot of that was just blowing smoke and hot air. I was kind of frustrated and fighting off depression. C'est la vie.

April 23, 1968 Tuesday

Tuesday AM , so far so gooD on my schedule. I really think I may drop Data Processing. it would be ashame in a way but I just don't see how I can get everything done.  I went to bed a little early last night having gotten my paper for English written. Dreamed of Stacy; it was wild. To my recall the first time I dreamed of making love from start to finish without my puritan subconscience blocking out some of it. It was a bit difficult after all that to return to reality and get my carcass out of bed to face the day. This will be a long and busy one. Thursay or Firday I'll go pay Ken Lincoln a call. What ho. He may not be my type nor am i is but it won't hurt to investigate after the rumors I have heard lately.  That about Stacy gets me, really. I had not even thought of him in literally ages. Maybe he was always after me in a way. Used to stop ad talk when I was out riding, They said gossips always linked us. May as well enjoy it if I am blamed, no?. He looks more dissolute now, being older, but ...I can just see him in an Eastwood style ooncho, and smoking say Roi Tan"trumps"...Oh no! You are putting me on, really. 

April 24, 1968 Wednesday

Felt kind of depressed yesterday but I made the highest grade on the marketing test before Easter. In spie of failing to study much and spending a wild afternoon. And I got 3-A of the Dapr problems . The Dapr test wa a doozy; I'm dying ti find out hoiw I did--probably not too swift. But we'll see, Now I've  got to try for the otHwer four by Friday. He gave us n extension, Thank golly. Now maybe I'll get part of them done, at least. Start on my ATSF major research this evening. That's the breaks. I'll get Moodys and Standard and Poor's covered and maybe check for magazine articles. My pick for finance--why not railroad stock?? 

April 26, 1968 Friday

Am all wore out and can't afford to loaf this weekend. I've fought  the comnpurer some more today--fun and games. But I got program #5 to run Now there is only the bitchy 3-B, Ron Raglund was there a lot. I think he kind of likes me. He is rather cute but hardly my type. Might be fun tohough , just to talk and such.  Am toroughly puzzled over what to do for the summer,. I guess I'd betterplan to go to summer school though I may go visit the folks the first of June but only if someone sends me the train fare However, it wouild be expensive to stay here too.  

I ought to get my backside off to bed as I set my alarm for 6:30 so I can get up and wash clothes and eat before heading down tlo the library for the day, I've got to rough draft my main paper for Englsih this weekend and type it by 3:00 pm Monday to take to Mr Davis. We aren't having marketing though, and maybe I can cut finance if I have to and my accounting assignment is done but I should skim the chapter for a quiz, Should also begin drafting the ATSF paper. Sleep while you can, my pretty. Ha ha,.

And I wrote not a word on my birthday.Perhaps that was right or significant? ~ one small shrug.

Photos: The Flagstaff/NAU rodeo arena in a  suummer view. Looking out my window in Campbell Hall, kind of in between snows that spring. And another with snow.... Did it really snow that much in Flag? Some years for sure. I think less the next two..

Memoir Monday, April 20, 1968

 Most of this week was the trip and visit and then getting back and having to jump straight into the routine again. I guess that is a frequent end to many vacations! Of course I did not write while I was in  the Elsinore and Parris area of SoCal. . So the post-narrative begins on April 17. 

Apriil 17, 1968  Wednesday

(to retrace) Today the El Capitan rolled into Flag at 7:40 or thereabouts. In ten days I'll be twenty five. What do you know about that.? I had a good visit with Judy. I was a little disappointed not being able to bring the Cindy illustrations back with me but I know they will be done soon.  And Judy may possibly be able to come over for one summer school session. We'd have a blast!!

Before I left back on the day a week ago, Dale and I drove around, drank coffee and he left me at the depot to catch the west bound while he took a bus to Albuquerque. I still was touched by his renting that car; not sure how he could even afford it but still--is he really trying to impres me?Or does he care?

Judy and Morris were a little late meeting me and I was beginning to get worried. They had missed the street to the depot. Back at her place, the goats are cute and feisty. The kids are just feisty. Well, it was fun and I really hated to return. 

Back here I got letters from Charlie Mike, Mom and Kentucky. Charlie Mike is ticked off about everything, poor kid. Jerked around by the Boss, Uncle Dan and Aunt Roxie where they are staying. It seems to be getting ugly and I am so sorry for him. I only went to my accounting class, just too sick and exhausted to do much. I'm getting used to my pierced ears. ((Judy did them for me in a very homemade way but I wanted that so much.)) I bought some more earrings this morning and have tried them all except the hoops which don't quite want to go in nicely. I've gotten two loads of washing done and am about ready to go take a shower and give my hair a scrub. I think I'll just brush it semi dry, braid it and  put rollers at the ends.  Well, I just had a phone call. The honorable Kenneth Lincoln yet,  in reply to my questionnaire. I may go up to talk to him next week just for the hell of it. Porque no? Only two classes manana but I've got to get organized and hit the vast stack of work that's waiting for me. I wrote to the folks, Charlie Mike and Judy but I still have Mary, Linda and Shirl left to answer. I'd better begin to lay out some sort of schedule and list what I must get done and then divide up my time accordingly

Explains: I really wrote little about the actual visit and that is odd. I saw--and was not real impressed with a Reed line Quarter Horse stud Judy was imprssed by at a nearby neighbor's, drove around sight-seeing, made a few suggestions on  the pen and ink illustrations she was doing and of course  talked for hours. The ear piercing was a whim but I never regretted. Sound icky? Numbed the lobes with clothespins and made the holes with a heavy sewing  needle and quilt-weight thread! I used lots of antibiotic, mostly alcohol and peroxide, on them and had mild infections but kept them open with stainless steel wires as they healed. StIll have the same holes today and they have borne hundreds of different earrings!

Lincoln was a local lawyer who did interact with the univeristy, mostly the pre-law students. I vaguely recall a questionnaire,  possibly urged by Dr Downum. Lincoln also had a rep of being a dashing chap who enjoyed the company of some coeds.FWIW!

April 20, 1968 Saturday

Fairly productive Saturday, I guess. I got up promptly at 6:30, had a quick snack for breakfast and hit the books, I did one marketing case and two accounting problems and read some finance stuff. About 11:00 I went down to check the mail and then headed for the NAU rodeo. Some greasy looking buckaroo in a new wine red car gave me a ride and wanted to get palsy but I froze him. I found i's not much fun alone and even forester Ray wasn't there. I took three pictures and watched the show and froze. It was nippy, I always look for familiar horses or looks,saw a gray gelding, the image of Jolly and Leo but a trifle lighter color. He and his rider won the barrel race. I think Ann Pollock was 2nd or 3rd. Poor JoAnn Kendall didn't do too well. NAU is not a true rodeoing school. Butch Davies is coming along as a saddle bronc rider and still trick rides on his old stud. I imagine he will make a career of rodeo for awhile anyway. Don't recall what his major is. He is a freshman this year. maybe? On my way home I was offered a ride again. Didn't recongnize him at first but it had to be Stacy Newton. That guy is impossible., Record or not, he goes around just like he was  good as any and better than most. He might even be fun; who knows. Apparently lots of gals have found him so. 

Yesterday I got the Hugo Montenegro record of Buen, Mal y Feo score. That is such cool music. I have preactically worn it out alrady. Now though, at almost midnight, I'm playing Floyd Cramer and some others and getting drowsy having given my room a thorough cleaning. Tomorow I'll finish myhomework and then decide how to amuse myself. It will likely be nasty weather in which case I will probably stay away from the rodeo. I may try to sew a little. I have a big box of projects just waiting for completion. Also have a stack of ironing to be done and I should get out a few more springy clothes perhaps.  Guess I'd best go to bed..My alarm is set for 7:30 and I cannot afford to sleep the day away, however  pleasant the idea sounds Suenos dulces.

A minor explain: Stacy Newton was a local Verde Valley character, semi-cowboy. He had done hard time but not sure what for. He had somewhat  come around me at times but it never got to anything. Some said we were hooked up but it was not true.

Now some pictures from the visit to Judy's here. Will try a little 'splaining. 1 is Judy and her goats. They were milkers and helped feed the kids. I think she had chickens too.  Next "Odd Sox Reed", QH stallion belonging to a neighbor in Elsinore. I thought he was too fat and not well mannered.  Next a view down over Parris from a hill we drove to. The last  two were some of Judy's  work to illustrate Cindy, The group shot is Cindy, her dad, her visiting rodeoing cousin and a school friend of hers. The other is part of the cover where Cindy is meeting her new colt the first time after her dad brought home a load he had purchased.