Welcome to my World

Welcome to the domain different--to paraphrase from New Mexico's capital city of Santa Fe which bills itself "The City Different." Perhaps this space is not completely unique but my world shapes what I write as well as many other facets of my life. The four Ds figure prominently but there are many other things as well. Here you will learn what makes me tick, what thrills and inspires me, experiences that impact my life and many other antidotes, vignettes and journal notes that set the paradigm for Dierdre O'Dare and her alter ego Gwynn Morgan and the fiction and poetry they write. I sell nothing here--just share with friends and others who may wander in. There will be pictures, poems, observations, rants on occasion and sometimes even jokes. Welcome to our world!

Sunday, December 29, 2024

Memoir Monday, January 6, 1967

January 6, 1967  The break completed, I went back to Flagstaff on the 3rd, a Tuesday. The class schedule seemed odd as if Monday and Tuesday were combined but abbreviated. I made no notes or comment about that though. But first, the entry for 

Jan 6, 1967

Dusty didn't (call) but I won't fuss too much. I think he'd said after the 7th...  I got $5.00 and spent most of it and even found a dime. Today it's cold and windy, nothing special so far. Guess I am going home. More later if it's worth mention.

Later: It was near dusk when we got to Clarkdale. As we rounded the corner  at the Y, I saw a flicker of lights to the north. The outfit track was occupied!. Six had come in Thursday--the day before.

Now to go back and fill in the short week. January 3 I was back at NAU. I got in at 10:30 and just dumped my stuff helter skelter and headed off to English. Next I got my mail--so much,. I got a $25 check from Uncle Dan and decided to save $20 for awhile until I see how things go. I shan't be very spendthrift for awhile. I wondered where B&B 6 was when its regular foreman returned this morning? He'd probably have to get ready to move the outfit. It was good to be back but at first I felt like "What am I doing here?" This was the longest time away and the jolt was rather keen after living almost my old life for over two weeks. By bedtime it felt 'normal' again and I was very calm about everything (famous last words?) 

Then  next day I  went to Financial Aids and almost freaked out when my checks were not there. By the next day I found out the problem--they had two records on me as "Gaye" and "Margaret" Morgan.  Once that was resolved,  all was well. I'll be even easier once I have them in hand--next week. I fussed a bit that Dusty had not called nor had I heard a word from Sir Jim, which was of much less concern but still a small nag. 

There were some reasons for my returning to Clarkdale so soon as I will discuss when I cover the weekend that followed this Friday next time. 

A few odd photos: The outfit track, after the second smelter stack was razed.  B&B 6 was there again  all spring and probably longer. The next is a view across that area in 2000 So much had changed! ATSF had been replaced by VCRR.  The last is 409 lower main in about 2000. (Ooops, that is 413, our 'other' house.) Okay now they are both there!) A far cry from what I had remembered while living there--not so sad looking now., 


 






Tuesday, December 24, 2024

Memoir Monday, Dec 30, 1966

The 'vacation' if one could call it that, was not yet over for there were still a few days to go. I went back to Flagstaff for January 3 as classes resumed.

 Dec 30, 1966

Already? Can't believe it. And would you believe snow on the ground this morning?! It snowed a good part of the day but all was quiet. We got our packages from California. I really dig the extra board station agent. he's a swingin' cigar smoking Oakie with a hot Chevy. I was glad yesterday to find that Sir James had a valid reason for standing me up. (I think his mother took ill in Tucson) Now perhaps he won't be back to see the New Year in with me but no matter. Perhaps I'd rather not commit myself to him for 1967 that way...

Will six (B&B that is) come in tomorrow by the by? Charlie Mike says yes but I am unsure. Now--what now my love? I am anxious in  a way to get back to NAU but a little sorry that there are only three more days left of my vacation. I can't do a lot of things I'd like to. That's life of course.  I've nearly finished  my two special dresses and done a lot of other sewing projects close to done. If I hustle I can finish them in time. Leave a few for semester break maybe which won't be long. 

The next evening Charlie Mike and I listened to the top 40 on KOMA and still boiled with pent-up anger at the injustices we cannot overcome. I wonder where some people are and how they are.  I wrote "Please God, may  this is the last New Year's I spend in this miserable hovel of a house in this ugly dump of a god-forsaken town."  What had gone so wrong the last day or two that I felt this way, I did not record. Perhaps that was for the best. Something must have happened or been said though, to awaken such bitterness. 

I fixed two skirts of Mom, didn't feel like  working on my simple dress or other projects. We played some records earlier and finally gave up the 'watch party' at 11:00 and went to bed. I drifted off to sleep with "These boots are made for walking" echoing lazily through the hallways of my weary mind. Nothing too fab about 1966; it is going and I am glad. I got a black eye, a few kisses, saw some beloved critters pass, finally changed my life in a huge way. It's over. That's enough. 

Indeed this was the last Christmas/New Year's I spent in Clarkdale although the final departure did not occur until the next late summer & fall. The next winter holiday--1967--I was back in Sacramento in a weird sort of deja vu. Again I left Flagstaff in the snow on the train and on December 16.  None of the family except me was in Arizona at that point as I will explain when the time comes. Rather than stay in Flag virtually alone for two weeks or more, I went back to visit the California Morgans with whom Charlie Mike was already staying at that time. All of that seems so remote and unreal now, looking back so very far.

I am not sure I can find any relevant photographs. We certainly took none of that holiday at the time. I may find some older ones that are not too mismatched but perhaps this will just be a dull text only post? Dull they say with no illustrations Didn't Lewis Carroll's Alice say that one time? .

Okay, here we go to prevent that--sorta. Desolate Clarkdale, probably prior winter as the last smoke stack came down not long after I started up at NAU. Then  a couple of years earlier but snow and a glimpse of the plain little house we lived in. Charlie Mike was not looking happy; he very seldom did in those days. And last the canyon corrals in snow, again an earlier time. Remembering chores in bad weather--not so much anymore.





 

Saturday, December 21, 2024

Memoir Monday, Dec 23, 1966

 Almost half of the 'vacation' already survived and part of it had gone surprisingly well. Really no huge traumas, thank heaven! This was my first Friday of the vacation and though I did not have a journal with me--it was safe in my desk in my room at NAU--I did take the time to write a bit on a plain sheet of paper. Thus I covered most of the week in a single entry. I spent one more Friday in Clarkdale and finally went back up the hill January 3. 

Just a few notes on happenings since last Friday. Last night (22nd) we got the furniture shifted and the Christmas Tree up, progress I guess.  Monday evening (19th) Sir James came by for me about 7:00. We had cokes at the Kentucky Bar and I was introduced to Jerry Vojnic and Charlie Bonaha. Big thrill--by then Bonaha was Judy C's ex,( my sophomore year HS friend)   We then went on up to the school.  They had the program, mostly music, with a recitation or skit or two.  I saw Rick and Vicki Patterson who did not recognize me at first but were friendly when they did. We ended up taking a few of the boys home to Cottonwood so I got to see the lights in all three little valley towns. I noted Jim now never bids me adieu without making a date for the future, in this case later this week. I admit I am going about this in a hard, cold and mostly unemotional way--for the first time in my life playing a scheming female. It is good practice and whether I 'win' or 'lose' is unimportant. In no way is Dusty replaced or ever briefly forgotten  but this charade serves many purposes. In a way the old 'cowboy-outdoorsman' versus 'prince charming' still plays a tug-of-war. in me. I do enjoy Jim's company and being treated like "a lady." Notably, he never really made a pass at me; maybe those 'gay' rumors were true? Later though he did marry. 

I rode both the studs today and cleaned Leo's pen. Yesterday I washed and cooked. Tomorrow I will ride and iron. Nothing like keeping busy--nothing!  How are the fish biting at Rocky Point?  Silence reigns in the halls of MUHS for now, no doubt. That takes care of it all fairly well. Vamos, querido. I will see you in my dreams.. 

December 23, 1966 (as written on December 24) 

I was fidgety all day yesterday (the 23rd) . Dad and the two boys went to Phoenix, left late. I washed my hair, and loafed. Jim was not much late. So far he is very punctual. I just wore my hair down "Nancy Boots" style and he kept complimenting it--and after all the effort I put into fixing it before! We dined at the Gray Shadows --he on steak and I on shrimp-- and watched the fireplace. All evening I was touched by a faint melancholy, not sure why. I turned down a chance to drive the Green Hornet and fumbled helplessly with the seat belt as usual, We went up to the school via Vojnik's bar--a crowd there, almost no one knows me and I think they tease Mac about his "mystery girl." We descended to the cellar at MUHS to escape the wails of "Peanut Butter". upstairs and played records on his stereo--Copeland and Dvorak. Mel Minthorne and his Hawaiian wife joined us for a bit. He is the art teacher now. I got a copy of Jim's script for Antigone and Cindy back but he wants to see it again. A bit later,  off to home and adieu until next Wednesday when I am to have a pool lesson (better than with Jerry Airth?) Suddenly I am very tired;my cold about which Jim was very solicitous is dragging me down a bit. 

A few minor explains:  The Nancy Boots remark referred to a song by Nancy Sinatra and her long haired look on the record jacket; "These boots are made of walking." Anyone remember that, so very long ago? For the life of me I cannot remember a restaurant called Gray Shadows--all that comes to mind is the Officer's Cub at Fort Huachuca which did have a fireplace in one main room. Where was this place? I am sure long gone today. Jim was partial to classical music--well really not the rock 'n roll and be-bop type,  which I was not much either. This was Friday, the last day of school at MUHS before the vacation so I think they had a party or dance and I guess Jim and Mel were the chaperones, but casual about that duty! Antigone was of course the classic Greek tragedy from which Jim had written a play. His  drama students put it on early in 1967 and later presented at NAU. I witnessed both.

Otherwise I spent time sewing, rode some and helped Charlie Mike with the chores, cooked and cleaned a bit and the days slid by fairly painlessly. Oddly I cannot recall the folks ever saying anything at all about my 'going out' with Jim, never a complaint, a snide comment or any derogatory or accusative statements. That is really odd, in retrospect. I am not sure why this was so. I suppose they were so relieved "that railroad man" was apparently out of the picture (little they knew!) and beyond that, who knows? Maybe I was past reclaim to where it did not matter so the ex-virgin princess no longer needed any protection|?  I have to laugh now.  Thus passed week one of the Winter Holiday, 1966. 

A couple of pix, ghosts of Christmases past:  My first Christmas in KC in 1943, I was 8 months old. Then Charlie's first Christmas in Jerome in 1951,  my live baby doll about six weeks old . And last the final one that was documented with a photo, 1956 in Clarkdale. I was 13 and Charlie was 5. There were never any others. That is a graphic reminder of how the family dynamic deteriorated; Alex never had any until much later when he was the only one at home and basically grown up. So sad.  No birthday photos  for any of us from 1956 on either. The cameras still got used but always for "business" until I got mine in 1962. And I seldom did holidays. 





Friday, December 13, 2024

Memoir Monday, Dec 16, 1966

 The last day of three weeks in Flagstaff with over two  weeks down in the valley coming at me. I was not sure that would be pleasant. However this week had been, for the most part. Oddly I did not recall that just a year ago I had caught the train this night, coming up in a snowstorm to head for Sacramento. And then  year later, I was to do it again,  and again it was snowing- a lot! This time it was fair and relatively mild for winter.

Dec 16, 1966

Now it is Friday morning and I'll be 'home' in a matter of hours That steak sure gave me a bunch of wild dreams. Got a damn accounting quiz in half an hour and all my packing to do. And I feel so damn sick this morning. So adios to NAU for 1966. I'll finish 1966 out at 'home'. My love to D, soon far away "south of the border" for at least two weeks, back to work Jan 6 he said,  just after I get back to NAU. 

I think The Boss was coming up for business though maybe just to collect me. At any rate, I was going to be gone until Monday, Jan 2.  It seemed like a long time; more than two full  weeks.  So let's go back and find what happened since the 9th. The steak (and fixins)  was from my dinner the prior night, richer food than I normally ate. More on that come Thursday!

December 10-11 were the last weekend before the holiday. and it was nice. I worked the morning on homework and then walked out the afternoons. I got an assortment of car numbers and a few date nails, breathed plenty of fresh air and got tired. I'd  climbed up Observatory Hill on Saturday and enjoyed the view. Meanwhile I ate next to nothing, four little boxes of cereal, an orange, a candybar, a can of Spam spread--ugh--and a few cookies and crackers.  Saturday evening Carol and I went to the often free Campus Union movies. They were both horror/suspense and not too scary. Sunday night Carol and I went to the Vesper Service with Karen Lovejoy, another dorm mate. It was very nice. I was thinking how I dreaded the vacation but it will pass and maybe not be too bad. I tried not to worry as I heard almost nothing from the folks when I am here. 

Monday came, the 12th. I lived through it.  I hoped to improve my grade on the accounting test, maybe a stronger 1 this time. I got as letter from Judy, my old pen-pal, and paperwork to return the wrong Santa Fe book I had received on an order. Tuesday I completely rearranged the room. It was an awkward shape for two beds, two desks and chairs and two dressers but I managed. Thank goodness Carol was patient for I had done that before.  I thought I might like to room with Joann Kendall next semester as Carol will be leaving. I'd have to ask Joann since maybe she was committed to someone else

Wednesday came, Dec 14. I got 77 out of 80 on the accounting quiz, still third best grade. In the mail had a note from Jim that he will be up tomorrow to make "a big date" of it. I got 95 on the History test we finally got back.The dorm was all decorated and we set out luminarios and had a buffet dinner at the cafeteria. Carol and I went to the 'film classics' and then Yiya's to escape the visitation madness hours since we had no one coming. She had a semi-boyfriend named John but seems he was not on campus or nearby. I never met him.

Then Thursday arrived. After the last class of the day, Science, I came back and collapsed for awhile. I was very tired and yet tight as a drum, maybe too anxious since a "big date" was not a normal occurrence! About 4:30 after I showered and dressed up for the evening, calm descended. I was ready when I had a "caller in the lobby"'wearing my black corduroy dress--another Goodwill find which was shirtwaist cut, snug bodice and flared skirt.  I though it quite flattering, Jim made an appreciative comment and helped me with my coat, a small chivalrous act I really enjoy.  We had dinner at the Afton House, one of Flag's nicer places, and then went to Amahl and the Night Visitors, put on by the NAU music and drama classes. Afterwards he walked me back to the dorm just across the street from the CU building and invited me to join him for the MUHS Holiday Program the next  Monday evening.  I enjoyed being "treated like a lady" something  I seldom experienced. Not that Dusty did not treat me very well indeed but he just went about it differently.  After all, he had not gone to New York City Catholic schools, much less college!  At that point, I realized I was already starting to be changed by the experiences of the past four months. The cowboy girl was morphing into something else. She would always be part of me but I was soon going to outwardly personify a different  identity.

A couple of photos. First a view from half-way up the road to "Mars Hill"or the observatory, looking across at Campus. The highway is barely visible just outside the main  buildings of campus, well past what looks like a trailer park and some empty space. I am sure it is all built up now! Next a portrait of Jim M, from the 1960-61 yearbook. I had lost mine and another student gave me his since I had done the decorative  lettering in that one. James Joseph McLarney or "Jim 1" of my odd sequence of five  relationships with men of that first name, wasn't really "cute," much less drop-dead gorgeous but not a bad looking man I suppose. Sandy hair, pale blue eyes, and a very Irish face. He was about 6' or a bit more and eight years my senior. And last, a different shot of a green Mercury Cougar, c: 1965. It was a nice car! Not a T-Bird but classy enough. 


  
  


Sunday, December 8, 2024

Memoir Monday Dec 9, 1966

An eventful week in some ways... 

Dec 9, 1966

Friday, and the inevitable let-down. Of course I was tired. Just two classes. Got quite a lot of mail. Found Ray (the Forestry guy I had noticed) watching me at dinner.  I asked myself what kind of pussycat I was that I can even notice when 24 hours ago I was …yes, I was…tangled limbs and tight-shut eyes, mouth to mouth and all the rest with Dusty. Carol and I went to Yaya’s. After my Christmas shopping,  all I could afford was coffee. We were early to bed after playing records and talking.

Some notes from memory... Yes, Dusty had made it back to Flagstaff...I'll cover that in a bit. As for Yaya's, it was a coffee shop/cafe over on the highway north of the campus. It was a favorite hangout along with a few other spots where the highway paralleled the campus. The Lumberjack was one and there was a Mexican restaurant  too. The name eludes me. There were some motels along both sides of that main  road also. At this time I was not patronizing them!  ;-)

Backtracking to the prior weekend, December 3 and 4. The weather was damp and chilly and kept me inside a lot. I spent several hours in the library, wrote on Cindy (my old YA girl and horse story--I kept going back to it for many years!) and read Battle Cry by Leon Uris. I had seen the movie in my prior lifetime going with Ron Davis and a bunch of other kids. Probably the one when I was late coming home and unfairly (I had called and let them know!) got badly chewed out?  I got hungry as all get-out. this weekend. Two cans of soup, and a little bit of other junk did not go very far. Bad choice to be thrifty and no weekend meal tickets. Sunday I took two walks and and got a few RR car numbers and fretted. Where is Dusty and for that matter where is Jim M? 

Dec 5 and 6 were still wet and windy. I did manage the pre-registration and then had nothing left to do to go on with my scholarship and classes. Mr Jones, the Philosophy Prof,  had suggested we meet and discuss the class but  he never seemed to be in his office. I was having trouble in that class and am not sure why, really. I completed and passed it, probably a charity grade! Watched an old repeat of The Rifleman in the TV room off the Morton lobby and felt a bit sorry for myself when I was not busy. 

Then Wednesday and Thursday the sun came out and life looked better. I got the bottom 1 on the latest  accounting test, the third highest grade but there were so many 4s and 5s Mr Gardner decided to give it again. After History and Science in the afternoon there was a pre-law meeting which I found interesting, and then dinner and the rodeo club. I rode back to the dorm with JoAnn K and Carol told me I'd had a long distance call and they would call again about 9:00. The third ring it was for me, and it was Dusty! He was in Williams in a bar with some of his crew and would be in Flagstaff about 7:30 PM the next day! He mentioned he was going to Mexico on his vacation taking Johnny fishing  and I was like whoa! That was what I had told the Aunts the year before when I got to Sacramento. Such an odd non-coincidence! Clairvoyant or what?

Then Thursday came. Still nice weather. I did get a card from Jim M with future plans and $5.00 from Grandma Witt. It won't go far but provided a little holiday shopping. Ate dinner late and then fussed around the room til about 7:00 when I just had to get out. I walked around in the dark. It was sharply cold. Finally the Little Bluebird (as I had named Dusty's blue VW) pulled up--maybe close now to 8:00. He had gotten away late and driven 72 miles from Drake in about 50 minutes. Thank gosh it was not icy. We went out by the same corral and  snuggled in the back seat, which is not very roomy but at least not buckets and no gear shift bump in the middle. After we  gradually shed clothes, it was so cold he put a blanket around me and later back in the front he turned the heater on.  We had a needed and intense reunion and got back just in time for me to slip into the dorm at 11:00.  Then it was Friday. I was staying a second weekend in Flagstaff, but not feeling too lonely this time. 

Photos. First the little Blue VW that I saw the first time in June at the pasture before many hardships occurred. I finally named it and then enjoyed togetherness in it, first mid October and again in early December. This is not it but a good stand-in. The next--not a Volkswagen for sure, though more like Moonspinner--but the image still brings some memories! Last, the forestry guy since I mention him now and then--he really seemed too young for me and had not yet decided who or what he would eventually be; this was in a cowboy phase. He was cute but too much like my high school crush, Tyce Miller. At this point I was NOT craving a romance fix! Looking was free though, like when you see a good looking horse or a beautiful  dog! A "cute" guy can be appreciated too.



 
   





Saturday, November 30, 2024

Memoir Monday Dec 2, 1966

 How have I been a student for over three months already? Time flies, some fun and some not so much...

Dec 2, 1966

Friday finally. I went to accounting--got a 2 on that test, damn the luck, Checked around on the pre-registration. That's got to be taken care of next week. Spent a couple of hours prowling through the library. That's pleasant. No mail. Ate and left for History. It was too cold for a walk so I read until dinner and then went to eat. Carol went out so I was alone (and 'blue') most of the evening. That's life I guess. Bet it's bad weather tomorrow 

So back to wrap up the last week, partly spent at Clarkdale at the end of the Thanksgiving holiday. 

Saturday the 26th Charlie Mike and I rode, two circles with Chief and Lyno. The track inspector --filling in for absent Earl was an Indian guy and the GP-9 units on the local were 717 and 750. Riding done by noon and after lunch I worked on Buzzie's scabby leg--she had torn it up somehow and it was healing slowly. Also did the laundry, cleaned out Twinkle's corral, and even got a 15 piece ironing done. I griped that the folks had argued all day and said I'd be glad to leave and planned to stay in Flag until the Christmas holiday.  The next day was busy too. We went up to Mingus for wood. It was very pretty up on the mountain and we saw one of Geronimo's old burros (He was a hermit woodcutter who lived up there for many years, hiding from the law, it was said. By now he had passed away.) We got a big load on pickup and trailer and came home down the Allen Spring  and Copper Chief roads We had to hurry to unload, feed and have dinner. I just made the late bus and headed back up the hill. Walking down to campus was chilly.

Back to the routine on Monday, Nov 28. No test after all in Accounting and the other classes were routine. This normal routine was getting established now.  I might grumble and cuss myself for the 2s that I got off and on but the anxiety about grades had abated a great deal. Wednesday we had a practice book keeping set quiz in Accounting and I started making some Christmas cards. I made most of those I sent for many years. 'Eve's curse' finally hit, which seemed a few days late--I had been quite variable on my schedule for some time, probably too much stress and then such big changes in my life. The real distress hit me at Rodeo Club that night. It hit hard, one of those "I'd like to die now" times, the worst I had been for awhile. I went to bed as soon as I got back to the dorm. Remembering Nov 30, 1965, I said it was a  heck of a way to celebrate the anniversary of losing my virginity! Thursday I complained there were just 24 days until Christmas which was upsetting when one is almost flat broke. I jokingly wondered how good I could get at shoplifting!  And then once more it was Friday. I quietly hoped there would be no need to go 'home' until I went for the holiday.

Pictures? Few to no new ones to share. Let me see...  An old one--through the ears. I think that is me on Tina who was gone by this time, having crossed the equine rainbow bridge in March that year. Then me with Chief and I think Leo--one time when I was home, probably spring 67 but not sure. First snow in 1966--the week before? Maybe the week after--brain blink. And two views of ATSF trains captured on my many walks. That outdoor time meant a lot to  me that fall and winter.








Saturday, November 23, 2024

Memoir Monday, Nov 25, 1966

 A longer time at "home" with the Thanksgiving Holiday. Oh-kay. Let's unpack that. 

Nov 25, 1966

Friday,.Alex woke me at 7:00 and I dragged out about 8:00. We ate, watered and changed tires all around on the pickup and found a loose bearing in the left front which, when corrected,, greatly reduced the shimmy. We had our signatures motorized and The Boss was off with them in hand for his latest legal shenanigan .I spent two hours cleaning, removed the loathed old crib etc. Then after lunch I put in two hours cleaning corrals. That's plenty. Listened to the tales of the day's progress and did some sewing. I've got the pretty purple dress fixed and a blouse plus one for Mom. The house looks different but it is still dirty. And I am really beat. No work on Cindy tonight, I got a start on it, anyway. Let's call 10:20 bedtime, OK? 

I am sure Alex was too big for the old baby bed and I think was now on the cot as Charlie Mike had my old bed  (an Army cot prior to that) so why it was not removed long ago I have no idea. Just no one could bother!  So eldest daughter goes to work. The purple dress was jersey, fitted bodice and flared skirt and I really liked it, another Goodwill purchase. I thought it was flattering and a good date dress.  So to slide back to the prior weekend and the days before the holiday break began.

Nov 19-20 I did not get up early on Saturday but Charlie Mike and I rode. Chief was a bit high--he had not been getting enough exercise but I got him controlled and lead several others and also later rode Leo. Found our friend Earl was still not back at work. That evening Jim M came by for me I said I was surprised how at ease I felt. The letters we'd exchanged had helped there--shifting from teacher-pupil to two friendly near equals. I helped some of the actors put on make up and Jim was only slightly defiant in escorting me while the cast had a post show party. We went down to the teachers' lounge for a bit of peace and quiet where he smoked half a pack and then I got a 'guided tour' around main complex. Some still familiar and some where I had never been before. Afterward we went to the steak house for a burger and ran into more of the kids. They were not sure what to think I bet. 

Woke up Sunday with an awful headache--and I had not had any booze!The Boss was rather glum but my ride came promptly at 9:00 and I was off, leaving my comb and brush on the dresser,  DTBL.  Jim claimed he'd rather listen than talk which I found hard to believe but his private persona is different than his teacher one. We had brunch at the Lumberjack and he then took me back to the dorm and carried my suitcase to the door, promising to come by the house over the holiday unless he went to his parents'.

Back to school routine on Monday, Nov 21,  Classes were all out early and Carol and I had dinner and went to a free movie at the Student Union. Tuesday the weather was getting cold and windy so followed the normal routine and then Carol and I loaded into her car --a 1966 Mustang, I think new--and drove down; 89A. She was going home to Prescott and dropped me off at 409 Main  as we'd planned. I loafed the afternoon away and helped Charlie Mike with the chores. I slept that night in my old bed with Alex. 

I slept a bit late the next day but watered after Charlie Mike and Alex left for school and Mom for work. Then it was Thanksgiving Day with not a lot of  celebration as usual in our family. Charlie Mike and I did ride and I showed him how to handle Lyno when she was excited and frisky. We did have chicken, 'taters, and gravy etc. at least. And then it was Friday,  as covered above. I had already firmly planned  to go back as early on Sunday as I could, maybe on the midday bus since I had an important accounting test on Monday I was not going to miss. There were still a couple of days of the holiday to go, though  In some ways these breaks were good but I was mostly on pins and needles lest some catastrophe suddenly occur. I did enjoy the chances to ride and be outdoors because that helped me make the transition between two greatly different life styles.Within another year that was almost totally completed. 

A few pictures not totally irrelevant! MUHS--same stage, different year. This was in 1961 or 62 but already Jim M was directing the Mingus Drams efforts. I cannot recall what play this was but I was there and snapped this photo! Of course that venue was still used in 1966. Next me on Chief. He was a good looking horse and mostly fun to ride as a stallion just has a bit more power and oomph than a mare or gelding does. Then Charlie Mike and I riding, one of my weekends or holidays back, following the old Outfit Track on the north side of Bitter Creek. And last, the Lumberjack Band struts their stuff at a football game, long \before the big domed stadium came to be.








Sunday, November 17, 2024

Memoir Monday, Nov 18, 1966

Typical/Atypical Friday? 

Nov 18, 1966

Friday and I kinda had the fidgets. Went to Accounting and got Monday's assignment out of the way and finished my quilted outfit. The college directories are out. I was real pleased with that. Had lunch and went to History. Returned to the dorm--no notes or anything so I waited. I poured over the directory for two hours finding names and such and finally went to dinner. And luck would have it I ran into Jerry. He starts to kind of bug me. We were going to play pool (ye gods)  and ended up walking. I am going to have to turn him off. When I got back there was a note; Mom and Alex were in the lobby. We went to the library and finally down to the Valley. They ate and we talked and I finally went to bed on the cot about 12:00. What a day. But relax; as (Who??Can't read my own scribble) says, "You ain't seen nothing yet." 

So to go back and recap the week that just ended. 

November 12 and 13 were spent in Clarkdale. Did some foot trimming and Charlie Mike (CM) and I were riding when the Local came in. Learned Earl R is still in the hospital so I though I might send him a get well card as I doubt his wife would flip out! Then we went to the clinic--I stayed out as Mom still going--and on to Camp Verde and Montezuma. I drove much of the trip and was glad for a chance to keep my skill up. We celebrated Charlie Mike's birthday on Sunday which was a lovely day weather-wise.I got blisters as we cleaned most of the corrals. CM and I rode out the river road but not on across the flats. Nothing will ever be the same again; would I go back if I could? No...I wouldn't. We had a good dinner and I gave CM the camera I had got at Goodwill.  It was exactly like mine so I threw in a couple of rolls of film. He was tickled. We drove up to Flagstaff the next morning, later than I wished. I cut all my classes except Science since we were after 9:00 getting there, too late for English and so on. 

Back to business as usual on Tuesday. Nothing  exciting or exceptional.  Wednesday I found I had missed a 1 in accounting test by four lousy points, During the week I got letters from Judy, Jim M, and Shirl Coulter . (Judy and Shirl were long-term pen pals)  Jim wanted me to come down for the fall school play and said he would bring me back up. I argued with myself a bit but guess what won out. Why not?  So that happened the next week.

Before you wonder why I was starting to keep company with my old teacher when I was still very dedicated to Dusty, there was method in the madness. It played well at home to have an apparent "new suitor" in case the old issue of the 'railroad man' was to re-arise. And there were some rumors at Mingus that Mr M was gay so a "girlfriend" was useful for him. The Rodeo Club was planning a turkey shoot and I knew I would try to go. Then Thursday slid by with little fanfare. And Friday came along.

Photo scramble:  Two Class of '62 members that were involved with NAU: Jerry Airth who I have been mentioning and Lila Bentley who had been the roommate of my first roommate, Carol for two years. Never saw Canbys again. Then Jim M's infamous Green Mercury Cougar that we called the Green Hornet. And then two shots of Charlie Mike and me riding on some of my weekends back in Clarkdale. Almost always did some of that.  (Sorry--got lazy and did not flip the first one!) 





Sunday, November 10, 2024

Memoir Monday, Nov 11, 1966

Nov 11, 1966 

An odd thought--1966 would have been a midterm election but I do not recall anything about it; it should have been November 7, I think. ~ Oh well! If so, I missed it; probably only one of two for all my adult life and only one Presidential. I do take that duty very seriously. And another notion, at that time I knew there was Veteran's Day but it did not mean a great deal to me for it did not touch my life as it has in the last several decades. Today I honor and observe it and those for whom it was created. I salute all Veterans, some of whom are very dear and close to me. 

Nov 11, 1966

Back in the saddle again  and it is always good. Only two places in the world where I feel absolutely right --in the saddle and in a certain guy's arms. I rode Chief. He was pretty high, pretty damn high. In the afternoon we cut up some of the big old junipers for firewood. I went to the "powder puff" football game with Charlie Mike. Jim wasn't there --oh cuss. But I talked to Mrs. Fitzgerald. She is really nice. Lots of people do not recognize me--isn't that funny? I wore my hair up so I guess I do look different. God knows, I am different.

That was a surprise, no? The Boss was in town  and left me a message. so I went.  I do not really know why I went to the Valley a day early but did not miss any critical school stuff apparently. And those classes on Thursday seemed like they should be M-W-F ones? I am confused! Anyway, to run through the week. 

Nov 5 and 6:  Saturday I said, "A free day is always a sort of small treasure to me. I feel a combined sens of abandon and a miserly wish to hoard each precious second." That level of idleness was still so unusual and almost felt stolen after those many days of endless sameness for hours and more hours, and hardly a bit of relaxing or feeling free.  That did not start to be 'normal' until the next spring and not totally until the following fall when all the old was totally gone at last. No one to answer to but myself and only a few responsibilities. This weekend I was out a lot and walked miles again, watching trains and jotting down car numbers for Charlie Mike's books. He kept lists in steno notebooks and I think still has them squirreled away somewhere; we are both hoarding packrats!  Sunday afternoon I wanted a treat and got a pint of Butter Pecan ice cream and ate it all watching trains on my little bridge or near it. Sadly the Lumberjacks lost to the Buffaloes--34 to 7! Some afternoons I was reading True Story type mags and thought of trying to write a few wild tales to earn a few bucks--it was not as easy as I thought!

Monday was a dull day, cold and wet. An accounting test still not back but one was in History and I got a 1 in it, only 93 this time so I said I must do better. The next day it snowed, the first real snow I was to see that year. It was so pretty and not having chores to do made it much more enjoyable! Late in the evening walked over to Chez Bon with Fran --dorm mate mentioned before--for cocoa and saw it had snowed about six inches and looked like fairyland. Made me recall another snowy night--can it be just a year ago? Dusty, do you remember?  By Wednesday it cleared and the snow made a million diamonds in the sun. It was icy though and I fell once. A Science test result--87, but the second highest score. Went to the Rodeo Club and thought Jim Polk was cute but a bit dissolute looking. Nick King, the club prez, was cuter except too short. Well I was very casually 'just looking.'  I did for sure ID Peggy W's roommates--yikes,  they looked pretty street-wise! Dusty's little girl is keeping  rough company but I guess her steady guy is okay--seems rather droll or stuffy really, a pre-law student! Thursday was normal until the point I left early.  We went down I-17 and stopped at Montezuma Stable. No one was around but the animals looked okay. Yes, that highway was still newly completed then.  

Some semi-pertinent photos: Two of Charlie Mike and me riding and one of me alone with the stallions on one of the weekends I was down. Then one from "Mars Hill (the telescope location) looking over at the campus fall 1966 and one of the ATSF units I snapped on my walks. And finally that first snow of 1966 









Saturday, November 2, 2024

Memoir Monday, Nov 4, 1966

 As is now customary, start with the actual day being remembered.

November 4, 1966 Friday

This was a pretty wild day in its way too. Got up and took the rollers out of my hair and dressed for breakfast.  Came back and studied my accounting a little. Actually the test was not too bad.  I could’ve made a 1, maybe. Walked to town and mailed my letters and then against my better judgment bought the Marty Robbins record. Had lunch early and then looked over my notes before History.  That test was really a good one. I may have slipped a little but I think I did okay. Got changed and went back to town. I cashed a $5.00 check so I could eat and watched trains. Got back to the dorm about 5:00 after stopping to do some grocery shopping. Had dinner and went to the pep rally, parade etc. It was really a riot--our dorm did a card thing,. I was the “S” in the bash for Bash the Buffaloes. The bonfire and all was a blast. I got back about 8:15.  They said I 'd had a phone call in the lobby and he said he’d call back. Probably Jerry Airth. No matter. Dusty would not call that number. So I settled down for a snack and turned on the phonograph. I love that Marty Robbins record! I really do. I’m not sorry even if I may miss that $3.00 real bad. It’s just sooo good.

 'Course that phone could have been Jim, but it wasn’t Dusty or the folks so no se importa. I’ll get a lot of rail watching the next two days, see the ‘Jacks stomp the Buffaloes (hopefully) and maybe get one more chapter of Cindy rewritten. I’ll have a few blue minutes no doubt. Possibly Dusty will call but I doubt it. What do I get him for Christmas? Well it is two months yet but I’ve got to start thinking. September and October sure flew by. It still doesn’t seem real, just too good to be true and too easy and all. When will I wake up?

So now to move through the preceding week: 

October 29-30, I was in Clarkdale and spent a lot of time in bed. I was using the cot so did get up and dress, but then lay on the big bed that had been mine most of Saturday. I managed to do some sewing and finished the machine part of a couple of skirts I could complete by hand later. Charlie Mike rode Saturday but I got up Sunday and did ride Chief and lead Leo. Charlie Mike saw Earl and learned they were bringing in a steel gang to lay a short spur to the old factory building up toward the dump.  I noticed they had razed the second smokestack and missed it on the horizon. Charlie Mike said they did it Thursday.  Sunday Charlie Mike got bopped in the face by the Boss, supposedly for sassing. That will never happen to me again, by Jove! My brother was furious but kept his cool though I know he will rebel, probably sooner than I did. It was very peaceful coming up in the bus by moonlight  Usually there were only one or two other passengers and sometimes none.

Monday I was still not feeling well but did go to eat and made all my classes--even though they ended up making me very sleepy! In the middle of evening study, I had "caller in the lobby". I jumped up and ran down through the halls. It was Jerry Airth. We went out for coffee . I liked Jerry and did not have to 'put on' for him at all which was easy and pleasant. I skipped the dorm Halloween party and went early to bed.

The next day started off normal but the buzzer sounded mid-morning as I had "visitors in the lobby."I almost freaked.  I had forgotten that I had to meet some Santa Fe brass as a "representative" of the Clarkdale Santa Fe Fan Club!  Mr Burroughs(caption says different and has me at ASU instead of NAU!!)  'interviewed' me and the photographer snapped several shots. I had my hair pinned up in a new style and feared I looked dorky. I suppose I did an adequate job of being a fan club rep! A brief write up finally appeared in the Santa Fe magazine the next spring! (more on that when it happened)  Then Wednesday and Thursday were fairly quiet and ordinary. In the mail I had checks for $5.00 from Grandma Witt and $25 from Uncle Dan, both welcome since funds were getting a bit thin.I scolded myself for not studying much for a few evenings but had begun to lose some of my fear I could not make better than adequate grades. And in truth, I did. The next year was my worst but there were "extenuating circumstances" and I never dropped below a 1- average. Then it was Friday, as I already covered, and looking toward another NAU weekend.

Photos: Me and Mr Burroughs as I was being interviewed. This one appeared in the Santa  Fe Magazine the next March. Then the front door of the North Quad which is where we were standing.The two years I lived there, the first was around the corner to the left in this shot and the second around to the right. Part of the same structure, they were called Morton Hall and Campbell Hall. Who Morton and Campbell were I have no idea!




Tuesday, October 29, 2024

A'Ho and a Story

 This is  my 'freebie', an excerpt of the first chapter of a novel inspired by my regression experience and to a small degree Hillerman's book, Thieves of Time. In this you meet the heroine a young woman of the Anasazi people  who lived about the year 1000 CE. It was written some time ago and I would change a few things now but still kind of hope to complete it one dfy. .  The photos are not quite as I visualize her home but of that period and those people.

July, 1154 A.D.

In The Canyons, now Northern Arizona

 Change fell hard into Wind Dancer’s life, beginning the day she met the puma. It was her sixteenth summer and she well knew now what to do when the time of the blood came. She retreated obediently to the women’s hut. Normally she knew a day or two ahead of time and made ready. Things had been busy recently, and she’d lost count of the days. The sudden twist of pain in her belly warned her. She gathered the items she would need and hurried off up the path before she could meet and contaminate a warrior with her feminine energies.

 The path to the women’s place led steeply up from Red Wall Village. It climbed along the wooded hillside, then edging out around a sharp spur of cliff that jutted into the canyon. Finally the trail turned back into a steep, narrow chute to end in the hidden niche that held the women’s shelter.

 Wind Dancer walked fast, trying to ignore the stitching pain in her side. She clutched her pouch of shredded juniper bark in one hand and her new medicine pot in the other. The pot had gone through its first firing yesterday coming sound from the kiln. The shape felt smooth and right, fitting perfectly in her hand. Her work was good. All that remained to be done now was to paint the designs on the gently curved surfaces.

 Perhaps it wasn’t strictly proper, although no one had ever said it was forbidden to work on such a task at the Women’s Place. So, she’d paint while she waited there, where she had little else to do. The two small bags of white and black powder and the yucca fiber brush rested inside the pot.

As she walked out along the ledge around the jutting rocks, her thoughts centered on the patterns she intended to create. Rounding the tip, she jerked to a halt. There on the same ledge, not five bow lengths beyond her stood a puma, a huge tawny mother puma. The cat’s speckled cub paused behind, almost bumping against the mother’s rear legs. The puma turned her head just enough to see both Wind Dancer and the cub at the same time. She gave a coughing hiss. The cub mewed in distress, but it turned obediently and fled, back the way they had come.

 Wind Dancer edged over against the towering wall of red stone. She pressed so tightly against the cliff she could feel the cold through her leather tunic. Unless the sun shone directly upon it, the cliff stone was always cold.

 The great cat stood poised, one forepaw lifted so that only the front edge touched the ground. Her eyes flared green fire and her whiskers trembled. She wrinkled her nose, drawing her lip back to reveal keen white fangs. Wind Dancer’s heart banged against her ribs and bounced up to block her throat. Weak and dizzy, she slid slowly down, scraping her back against the stone until her bottom touched the ground behind her heels. She wrapped her arms around her knees and made herself as small as she could. Please, Mother Puma, I do not want to be your prey.

 The puma moved one step closer, another. She paused then, her tail making fitful lashes. She sank back on her haunches and watched Wind Dancer, just watched. Dropping again, she stretched her forelegs out before her. Lifting one great paw, she swiped her tongue across it and began to wash her face. After a moment, she changed paws and repeated the process. Wind Dancer hardly dared to breath. She wanted to shut her eyes, but when she did, it was even worse, not knowing what the puma was doing. She blinked and stared for a moment at the rim of the ledge.

 Silly human kit, I am not going to hurt you. Why are you afraid? Use your wits, child. What does the Puma mean? What is my medicine?

 Wind Dancer’s gaze snapped up from the stone in front of her moccasins. She stared at the puma. Had the great cat really spoken to her, mind to mind without a sound? There was no way to be sure for the cat simply continued her toilet as if she were all alone.

 Then Wind Dancer noticed a jagged white line running down the puma’s right shoulder to curve inward and vanish under her chest. At one time, the puma had a serious wound there, a wound that had healed with white hair instead of tan. Another scar across her face put a slight squint to one eye. This puma was a survivor, one who had endured and overcome painful injury.

 Her keen eyes held a strange calm wisdom as she gazed at Wind Dancer, scarcely blinking. You are marked for adventure, just as I am. You will see and do things none of your people have ever experienced. Your children will carry the legend of Wind Dancer and Thunder, and they will live to go forth when many die. You must be strong and have courage, for the survival of your people depends upon you.

 Again Wind Dancer was unsure whether the cat truly had spoken to her or her imagination was playing tricks on her. Surely enough time passed for the sun to travel across half the sky, although the shadows did not show it. She breathed slowly, as evenly as she could, seeking to calm her fears.

 Abruptly, the puma stood. She gave one sharp yowl and then in a supple twist, she turned around and loped off in the direction her cub had taken, stretching into long leaping bounds before she vanished.

 Every bit of Wind Dancer’s body shivered. She set the pot down at her side lest she drop and break it. For a long time she sat until finally the cold drove her to move. Slowly, slowly she pushed herself erect. Picking up her pot and pouch, she moved off up the trail, forcing one foot in front on the other, over and over.

 The puma had to be long gone, but Wind Dancer could not keep from peering into every shadowy hollow, behind every bush and tree and boulder. When she finally reached the hut, she staggered inside and sank to the floor, breathing as if she had run half the day.

Star Falling, one of the elders, was there to teach the two young girls who had come for their first stay. She came to Wind Dancer and knelt at her side.

 “Daughter, what ails you? You are whiter than new snow. Did a spirit cross your path?”

 Wind Dancer shook her head, striving to control her shivers. “No, wise one, but I met a mother puma on the ledge.”

 Star Falling leaned forward, keen interest on her weathered face. “Tell me,” she commanded. “Tell me everything that happened. This is a wonder, strange and terrible. I must know all that occurred in order to interpret what it means.”

 Wind Dancer told the whole tale as best she could, forcing herself to relive every terrifying instant. Her friend Morning Rain, who had come up two days before, brought a thick-furred blanket and settled it over her shoulders. Finally the fur began to drive the chill from her bones and her shivering stopped.

 After pondering for some time, Star Falling turned to Wind Dancer. “I think this beast is your spirit totem. Although your mother named you for the small quick birds that come in the summer to taste the flowers, the ones that visit in the season in which you were born, it may be that you need another beast to teach and protect you. Surely, if the puma meant you harm, you would not be here now.”

 “Aye, grandmother. That may be true. I was scared, but you are right, the puma made no move to attack or injure me. She could have done so, but she did not. If I ever see her again, I will know her, for she is strangely scarred. It even seemed that she spoke to me, although I could not be sure. I thought maybe I was dreaming of old legends with that.”

 

Star Falling smiled slightly. “Where do you think the tales comes from, Daughter? Once the animals did talk and we could understand them. Maybe they changed or maybe we did, but that link has been lost. It would be good to have it once again.”

 Thus reassured, Wind Dancer calmed enough to help with the preparation of the evening meal and getting the younger ones settled for the night. Still, when she finally slept, she dreamed of pumas and blood. She saw torn flesh, broken bones and blood splattered everywhere. They were horrible dreams. She kept waking herself from them only to fall asleep in weariness and dream yet again.

 **************

Wind Dancer awoke feeling tired and cross. She had slept badly and the gnawing pain in her belly did not subside. After eating a small portion of ground corn mush, she wandered outside and found a seat in the morning sun. It wouldn’t shine here long, so she’d enjoy the warmth and light while she could.

 Morning Rain soon joined her. “Star Falling is worried,” Morning Rain said. “I can tell by the way she’s acting, looking around as if she expects an attack or a bad storm.”

 Wind Dancer sighed. “I know. I feel something too, a trouble in the wind, maybe, or a restless spirit going by.”

 Just then Star Falling called them. “You two go down to the stream and get some willow bark. Blue Jay Girl is hurting too badly and she needs medicine to ease her pain. I used all I had for her last night.” She looked sharply at Wind Dancer. “You know how to get the right kind?”

 Wind Dancer nodded. “Yes, the inner white part, against the wood.”  She got up and went back to the hut to get her stone blade. The sharp edge of the obsidian flake would slice easily through the willow’s soft bark and peel strips of the inner bark from the wood. She could chew on a bit of it herself, which would relieve her discomfort, too.

 “I need to get more juniper bark,” Morning Rain said. “I thought I had more left from last time, but it’s almost gone.”

 Wind Dancer nodded her understanding. They shredded the soft, stringy bark of the “shag bark” juniper and put it inside a leather clout to catch their flow. When the bark became saturated, they replaced it and buried the used parts in a safe place where no one would be tainted by the blood.

 “There are junipers along the way to the creek,” she said. “We can accomplish both tasks at once.”

The sun was near the zenith when they made their way back up the steep hill from the creek. Morning Rain had a pouch full of juniper bark and Wind Dancer had enough willow bark to last for some time. She gnawed on a strip of it, tasting the bitter juice that dulled pain. Already the ache in her side had eased.

 They emerged from the bushes about ten bow lengths from the hut, at the edge of the little flat in which it sat. Wind Dancer stopped, suddenly sensing something was wrong. When Morning Rain bumped into her back, she put out a hand to stop her friend. “Shush.”

 A man stood in the doorway of the hut, a huge, strange man, perhaps half bear for his face was covered with shaggy reddish hair and more hair hung down over his shoulders.  She bit her lip to still her half-formed cry of alarm.

 As she watched, he reached back inside the hut and hauled Blue Jay Girl out into the light. The girl cried out just before he slashed across her throat with a bright silvery blade. Blood gushed. With ruthless force, he jerked the string of precious turquoise beads from around the girl’s neck.

 A gust of breeze rose then, bringing to Wind Dancer the smell of blood, just like in her dreams. Hot, sharp and bitter-sweet. Morning Rain screamed, starting forward before Wind Dancer could stop her.

 “No, no! You cannot do that to my friend, my little clan-sister.”

 Wind Dancer could not move. She felt as if her feet were trapped in deep snow or quicksand. Morning Rain was going to die and she could not prevent it.

 At that instant, a tawny blur came flying over the top of the hut. Wind Dancer heard a snarl and a thud as the puma’s leap put her on the bear-man’s back. He whirled away from Morning Rain. Blue Jay Girl’s limp body slipped from his arms. He slashed at the puma, but his shiny blade could find no purchase in the animal’s thick fur. The cat’s big head whipped in an arc before she sank her fangs into the back of his neck.

More blood. A red haze dimmed Wind Dancer’s eyes. Released suddenly from stasis, she turned and ran, blindly and without goal or purpose, simply fleeing from the blood, the torn flesh and broken bones. From the dead. Unseeing, unthinking, she ran and ran and ran until she could not run any more.

She bent to put her hands on her trembling knees, gulping air in great painful gasps. Her heart hammered against her ribs until she thought it might burst free. A red haze still dimmed her eyes, as if her face had been splattered with blood, clouding her vision.

 With a broken sob, she sank to her knees and then fell forward onto the ground. Had she been a coward, not going to aid her friends or had she been wise to flee and at least save herself? Her question brought no answer, and she was too exhausted to think about it.

 She curled into a ball, her knees almost under her chin, her eyes squeezed tightly shut as if she could close out the horrible scenes she had witnessed, and thus will them not to have happened.

 *********

Three photos are mine in Verde Valley, Tuzigoot and Montezuma Castle; last is borrowed but more the scenery I visualized