May had been mostly mild, only a few issues which occurred on dates I did not cover. They may pop up in June which will otherwise be skimpy for reasons to be explained later. Sometimes lack of clairvoyance or foreknowledge is a blessing...
May 27, 1966, Friday
Maybe next Friday I can see somebody off. Got up and fed etc. Really had the glooms hanging over me and couldn’t shake them. If I aren’t a pie-headed mess. When we got back from the pasture I got the mail on Leo and we shod him in front. It was a lengthy task. He was a good boy about it all but it was still a job. Finally got that done. Alex is out of school now and promoted to 2nd grade. Gee thrill. I rested awhile until Charlie Mike came. We then went on a short hike and found some ’45 and ‘51 date nails which were new to his collection. I saddled Buzzie and led the new fillies briefly. Chief was apparently sick so I had to pony him out with Leo. Mom and Charlie Mike did the pasture chores and made a mess of it. Well, hell if I care. Finally put Chief away just before a late supper. As I rode over by the outfit track, it still kind of shakes me up to see where 'Spinner parked, 193680 sat etc. It seems rather unreal at times now, like I just invented it all for a good day dream. I could lose myself in a private world all too easily. That would never do, though. Charlie Mike has about got him a girlfriend, I think Helen Jenson really likes him. He still can’t forget Twyla though. She’s a cat, I’m sure, but a Santa Fe girl cat. I’m an SF girl too; I’m C...W...'s girl… Wonder if they’ll come in next week? I might get a letter tomorrow but won’t expect one. I’ll not write for awhile now ‘til I see if they come. I’m scared to hope too hard. I’ve lost too much, too often...
I was destined to be disappointed yet again for at least awhile more, actually for the rest of this long hard summer. As I share it, I will try not to be maudlin, self-pitying and pathetic, or too obviously angry though all such emotions were part of it. These weeks were the final payments on my ransom, I think. Nothing worthwhile comes easy or even cheap. If it does, we do not value it enough.
Date nails? Although they have not been used for a long time, railroad ties once had a special short nail set in them with a number on the head which showed when it left the factory. They became a common collectible for rail fans. Charlie's old board still hangs in the great room. I may snap a photo. I still have a 23 and a 43 saved away with souvenirs somewhere.
We should have been fully over the colic and other illnesses but apparently Chief had a slight relapse. In typical manner, I kept him up and going until the distress passed. It didn't matter where we went as I led him so a circle of lower town was one route. That went by the tracks and the depot. B&B 6 had been gone over two months now; no wonder it began to feel imaginary or like a dream. The present was so uninspiring I did tend to day dream, probably too much.
I dimly recall Helen Jenson as a neighborhood girl about 8th grade age who seemed to get a crush on Charlie. He really was not very interested. And he did still remember and occasionally communicate with Twyla Andreski, his red-headed eighth grade girlfriend. He was a freshman the 65-66 school year.
We had heard a rumor B&B 6 would be coming back to Clarkdale by summer and I wanted so much to believe, to hope. Expectations proved fruitless as that never happened. I did not give up for awhile. I had to have something, unreal or not, too look forward to. Soon there was little enough. June, July and August 1966 could be described as trying times...
A few photos: First: Probably not the one but similar to the bunk car Twyla's family occupied. Second a piece of equipment similar to the crane Twyla's father operated. Third the spur track where B&B 6 parked, empty after they were gone. And last, Charlie's date nail board currently hung in our house.
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