Memoir Monday, January 6, 1967

January 6, 1967  The break completed, I went back to Flagstaff on the 3rd, a Tuesday. The class schedule seemed odd as if Monday and Tuesday were combined but abbreviated. I made no notes or comment about that though. But first, the entry for 

Jan 6, 1967

Dusty didn't (call) but I won't fuss too much. I think he'd said after the 7th...  I got $5.00 and spent most of it and even found a dime. Today it's cold and windy, nothing special so far. Guess I am going home. More later if it's worth mention.

Later: It was near dusk when we got to Clarkdale. As we rounded the corner  at the Y, I saw a flicker of lights to the north. The outfit track was occupied!. Six had come in Thursday--the day before.

Now to go back and fill in the short week. January 3 I was back at NAU. I got in at 10:30 and just dumped my stuff helter skelter and headed off to English. Next I got my mail--so much,. I got a $25 check from Uncle Dan and decided to save $20 for awhile until I see how things go. I shan't be very spendthrift for awhile. I wondered where B&B 6 was when its regular foreman returned this morning? He'd probably have to get ready to move the outfit. It was good to be back but at first I felt like "What am I doing here?" This was the longest time away and the jolt was rather keen after living almost my old life for over two weeks. By bedtime it felt 'normal' again and I was very calm about everything (famous last words?) 

Then  next day I  went to Financial Aids and almost freaked out when my checks were not there. By the next day I found out the problem--they had two records on me as "Gaye" and "Margaret" Morgan.  Once that was resolved,  all was well. I'll be even easier once I have them in hand--next week. I fussed a bit that Dusty had not called nor had I heard a word from Sir Jim, which was of much less concern but still a small nag. 

There were some reasons for my returning to Clarkdale so soon as I will discuss when I cover the weekend that followed this Friday next time. 

A few odd photos: The outfit track, after the second smelter stack was razed.  B&B 6 was there again  all spring and probably longer. The next is a view across that area in 2000 So much had changed! ATSF had been replaced by VCRR.  The last is 409 lower main in about 2000. (Ooops, that is 413, our 'other' house.) Okay now they are both there!) A far cry from what I had remembered while living there--not so sad looking now., 

 

Memoir Monday, Dec 30, 1966

The 'vacation' if one could call it that, was not yet over for there were still a few days to go. I went back to Flagstaff for January 3 as classes resumed.

 Dec 30, 1966

Already? Can't believe it. And would you believe snow on the ground this morning?! It snowed a good part of the day but all was quiet. We got our packages from California. I really dig the extra board station agent. he's a swingin' cigar smoking Oakie with a hot Chevy. I was glad yesterday to find that Sir James had a valid reason for standing me up. (I think his mother took ill in Tucson) Now perhaps he won't be back to see the New Year in with me but no matter. Perhaps I'd rather not commit myself to him for 1967 that way...

Will six (B&B that is) come in tomorrow by the by? Charlie Mike says yes but I am unsure. Now--what now my love? I am anxious in  a way to get back to NAU but a little sorry that there are only three more days left of my vacation. I can't do a lot of things I'd like to. That's life of course.  I've nearly finished  my two special dresses and done a lot of other sewing projects close to done. If I hustle I can finish them in time. Leave a few for semester break maybe which won't be long. 

The next evening Charlie Mike and I listened to the top 40 on KOMA and still boiled with pent-up anger at the injustices we cannot overcome. I wonder where some people are and how they are.  I wrote "Please God, may  this is the last New Year's I spend in this miserable hovel of a house in this ugly dump of a god-forsaken town."  What had gone so wrong the last day or two that I felt this way, I did not record. Perhaps that was for the best. Something must have happened or been said though, to awaken such bitterness. 

I fixed two skirts of Mom, didn't feel like  working on my simple dress or other projects. We played some records earlier and finally gave up the 'watch party' at 11:00 and went to bed. I drifted off to sleep with "These boots are made for walking" echoing lazily through the hallways of my weary mind. Nothing too fab about 1966; it is going and I am glad. I got a black eye, a few kisses, saw some beloved critters pass, finally changed my life in a huge way. It's over. That's enough. 

Indeed this was the last Christmas/New Year's I spent in Clarkdale although the final departure did not occur until the next late summer & fall. The next winter holiday--1967--I was back in Sacramento in a weird sort of deja vu. Again I left Flagstaff in the snow on the train and on December 16.  None of the family except me was in Arizona at that point as I will explain when the time comes. Rather than stay in Flag virtually alone for two weeks or more, I went back to visit the California Morgans with whom Charlie Mike was already staying at that time. All of that seems so remote and unreal now, looking back so very far.

I am not sure I can find any relevant photographs. We certainly took none of that holiday at the time. I may find some older ones that are not too mismatched but perhaps this will just be a dull text only post? Dull they say with no illustrations Didn't Lewis Carroll's Alice say that one time? .

Okay, here we go to prevent that--sorta. Desolate Clarkdale, probably prior winter as the last smoke stack came down not long after I started up at NAU. Then  a couple of years earlier but snow and a glimpse of the plain little house we lived in. Charlie Mike was not looking happy; he very seldom did in those days. And last the canyon corrals in snow, again an earlier time. Remembering chores in bad weather--not so much anymore.

 

Memoir Monday, Dec 23, 1966

 Almost half of the 'vacation' already survived and part of it had gone surprisingly well. Really no huge traumas, thank heaven! This was my first Friday of the vacation and though I did not have a journal with me--it was safe in my desk in my room at NAU--I did take the time to write a bit on a plain sheet of paper. Thus I covered most of the week in a single entry. I spent one more Friday in Clarkdale and finally went back up the hill January 3. 

Just a few notes on happenings since last Friday. Last night (22nd) we got the furniture shifted and the Christmas Tree up, progress I guess.  Monday evening (19th) Sir James came by for me about 7:00. We had cokes at the Kentucky Bar and I was introduced to Jerry Vojnic and Charlie Bonaha. Big thrill--by then Bonaha was Judy C's ex,( my sophomore year HS friend)   We then went on up to the school.  They had the program, mostly music, with a recitation or skit or two.  I saw Rick and Vicki Patterson who did not recognize me at first but were friendly when they did. We ended up taking a few of the boys home to Cottonwood so I got to see the lights in all three little valley towns. I noted Jim now never bids me adieu without making a date for the future, in this case later this week. I admit I am going about this in a hard, cold and mostly unemotional way--for the first time in my life playing a scheming female. It is good practice and whether I 'win' or 'lose' is unimportant. In no way is Dusty replaced or ever briefly forgotten  but this charade serves many purposes. In a way the old 'cowboy-outdoorsman' versus 'prince charming' still plays a tug-of-war. in me. I do enjoy Jim's company and being treated like "a lady." Notably, he never really made a pass at me; maybe those 'gay' rumors were true? Later though he did marry. 

I rode both the studs today and cleaned Leo's pen. Yesterday I washed and cooked. Tomorrow I will ride and iron. Nothing like keeping busy--nothing!  How are the fish biting at Rocky Point?  Silence reigns in the halls of MUHS for now, no doubt. That takes care of it all fairly well. Vamos, querido..  I will see you in my dreams.. 

December 23, 1966 (as written on December 24) 

I was fidgety all day yesterday (the 23rd) . Dad and the two boys went to Phoenix, left late. I washed my hair, and loafed. Jim was not much late. So far he is very punctual. I just wore my hair down "Nancy Boots" style and he kept complimenting it--and after all the effort I put into fixing it before! We dined at the Gray Shadows --he on steak and I on shrimp-- and watched the fireplace. All evening I was touched by a faint melancholy, not sure why. I turned down a chance to drive the Green Hornet and fumbled helplessly with the seat belt as usual, We went up to the school via Vojnik's bar--a crowd there, almost no one knows me and I think they tease Mac about his "mystery girl." We descended to the cellar at MUHS to escape the wails of "Peanut Butter". upstairs and played records on his stereo--Copeland and Dvorak. Mel Minthorne and his Hawaiian wife joined us for a bit. He is the art teacher now. I got a copy of Jim's script for Antigone and Cindy back but he wants to see it again. A bit later,  off to home and adieu until next Wednesday when I am to have a pool lesson (better than with Jerry Airth?) Suddenly I am very tired;my cold about which Jim was very solicitous is dragging me down a bit. 

A few minor explains:  The Nancy Boots remark referred to a song by Nancy Sinatra and her long haired look on the record jacket; "These boots are made of walking." Anyone remember that, so very long ago? For the life of me I cannot remember a restaurant called Gray Shadows--all that comes to mind is the Officer's Cub at Fort Huachuca which did have a fireplace in one main room. Where was this place? I am sure long gone today. Jim was partial to classical music--well really not the rock 'n roll and be-bop type,  which I was not much either. This was Friday, the last day of school at MUHS before the vacation so I think they had a party or dance and I guess Jim and Mel were the chaperones, but casual about that duty! Antigone was of course the classic Greek tragedy from which Jim had written a play. His  drama students put it on early in 1967 and later presented at NAU. I witnessed both.

Otherwise I spent time sewing, rode some and helped Charlie Mike with the chores, cooked and cleaned a bit and the days slid by fairly painlessly. Oddly I cannot recall the folks ever saying anything at all about my 'going out' with Jim, never a complaint, a snide comment or any derogatory or accusative statements. That is really odd, in retrospect. I am not sure why this was so. I suppose they were so relieved "that railroad man" was apparently out of the picture (little they knew!) and beyond that, who knows? Maybe I was past reclaim to where it did not matter so the ex-virgin princess no longer needed any protection|?  I have to laugh now.  Thus passed week one of the Winter Holiday, 1966. 

A couple of pix, ghosts of Christmases past:  My first Christmas in KC in 1943, I was 8 months old. Then Charlie's first Christmas in Jerome in 1951,  my live baby doll about six weeks old . And last the final one that was documented with a photo, 1956 in Clarkdale. I was 13 and Charlie was 5. There were never any others. That is a graphic reminder of how the family dynamic deteriorated; Alex never had any until much later when he was the only one at home and basically grown up. So sad.  No birthday photos  for any of us from 1956 on either. The cameras still got used but always for "business" until I got mine in 1962. And I seldom did holidays. 

Memoir Monday, Dec 16, 1966

 The last day of three weeks in Flagstaff with over two  weeks down in the valley coming at me. I was not sure that would be pleasant. However this week had been, for the most part. Oddly I did not recall that just a year ago I had caught the train this night, coming up in a snowstorm to head for Sacramento. And then  year later, I was to do it again,  and again it was snowing- a lot! This time it was fair and relatively mild for winter.

Dec 16, 1966

Now it is Friday morning and I'll be 'home' in a matter of hours That steak sure gave me a bunch of wild dreams. Got a damn accounting quiz in half an hour and all my packing to do. And I feel so damn sick this morning. So adios to NAU for 1966. I'll finish 1966 out at 'home'. My love to D, soon far away "south of the border" for at least two weeks, back to work Jan 6 he said,  just after I get back to NAU. 

I think The Boss was coming up for business though maybe just to collect me. At any rate, I was going to be gone until Monday, Jan 2.  It seemed like a long time; more than two full  weeks.  So let's go back and find what happened since the 9th. The steak (and fixins)  was from my dinner the prior night, richer food than I normally ate. More on that come Thursday!

December 10-11 were the last weekend before the holiday. and it was nice. I worked the morning on homework and then walked out the afternoons. I got an assortment of car numbers and a few date nails, breathed plenty of fresh air and got tired. I'd  climbed up Observatory Hill on Saturday and enjoyed the view. Meanwhile I ate next to nothing, four little boxes of cereal, an orange, a candybar, a can of Spam spread--ugh--and a few cookies and crackers.  Saturday evening Carol and I went to the often free Campus Union movies. They were both horror/suspense and not too scary. Sunday night Carol and I went to the Vesper Service with Karen Lovejoy, another dorm mate. It was very nice. I was thinking how I dreaded the vacation but it will pass and maybe not be too bad. I tried not to worry as I heard almost nothing from the folks when I am here. 

Monday came, the 12th. I lived through it.  I hoped to improve my grade on the accounting test, maybe a stronger 1 this time. I got as letter from Judy, my old pen-pal, and paperwork to return the wrong Santa Fe book I had received on an order. Tuesday I completely rearranged the room. It was an awkward shape for two beds, two desks and chairs and two dressers but I managed. Thank goodness Carol was patient for I had done that before.  I thought I might like to room with Joann Kendall next semester as Carol will be leaving. I'd have to ask Joann since maybe she was committed to someone else

Wednesday came, Dec 14. I got 77 out of 80 on the accounting quiz, still third best grade. In the mail had a note from Jim that he will be up tomorrow to make "a big date" of it. I got 95 on the History test we finally got back.The dorm was all decorated and we set out luminarios and had a buffet dinner at the cafeteria. Carol and I went to the 'film classics' and then Yiya's to escape the visitation madness hours since we had no one coming. She had a semi-boyfriend named John but seems he was not on campus or nearby. I never met him.

Then Thursday arrived. After the last class of the day, Science, I came back and collapsed for awhile. I was very tired and yet tight as a drum, maybe too anxious since a "big date" was not a normal occurrence! About 4:30 after I showered and dressed up for the evening, calm descended. I was ready when I had a "caller in the lobby"'wearing my black corduroy dress--another Goodwill find which was shirtwaist cut, snug bodice and flared skirt.  I though it quite flattering, Jim made an appreciative comment and helped me with my coat, a small chivalrous act I really enjoy.  We had dinner at the Afton House, one of Flag's nicer places, and then went to Amahl and the Night Visitors, put on by the NAU music and drama classes. Afterwards he walked me back to the dorm just across the street from the CU building and invited me to join him for the MUHS Holiday Program the next  Monday evening.  I enjoyed being "treated like a lady" something  I seldom experienced. Not that Dusty did not treat me very well indeed but he just went about it differently.  After all, he had not gone to New York City Catholic schools, much less college!  At that point, I realized I was already starting to be changed by the experiences of the past four months. The cowboy girl was morphing into something else. She would always be part of me but I was soon going to outwardly personify a different  identity.

A couple of photos. First a view from half-way up the road to "Mars Hill"or the observatory, looking across at Campus. The highway is barely visible just outside the main  buildings of campus, well past what looks like a trailer park and some empty space. I am sure it is all built up now! Next a portrait of Jim M, from the 1960-61 yearbook. I had lost mine and another student gave me his since I had done the decorative  lettering in that one. James Joseph McLarney or "Jim 1" of my odd sequence of five  relationships with men of that first name, wasn't really "cute," much less drop-dead gorgeous but not a bad looking man I suppose. Sandy hair, pale blue eyes, and a very Irish face. He was about 6' or a bit more and eight years my senior. And last, a different shot of a green Mercury Cougar, c: 1965. It was a nice car! Not a T-Bird but classy enough. 

  

  

Memoir Monday Dec 9, 1966

An eventful week in some ways... 

Dec 9, 1966

Friday, and the inevitable let-down. Of course I was tired. Just two classes. Got quite a lot of mail. Found Ray (the Forestry guy I had noticed) watching me at dinner.  I asked myself what kind of pussycat I was that I can even notice when 24 hours ago I was …yes, I was…tangled limbs and tight-shut eyes, mouth to mouth and all the rest with Dusty. Carol and I went to Yaya’s. After my Christmas shopping,  all I could afford was coffee. We were early to bed after playing records and talking.

Some notes from memory... Yes, Dusty had made it back to Flagstaff...I'll cover that in a bit. As for Yaya's, it was a coffee shop/cafe over on the highway north of the campus. It was a favorite hangout along with a few other spots where the highway paralleled the campus. The Lumberjack was one and there was a Mexican restaurant  too. The name eludes me. There were some motels along both sides of that main  road also. At this time I was not patronizing them!  ;-)

Backtracking to the prior weekend, December 3 and 4. The weather was damp and chilly and kept me inside a lot. I spent several hours in the library, wrote on Cindy (my old YA girl and horse story--I kept going back to it for many years!) and read Battle Cry by Leon Uris. I had seen the movie in my prior lifetime going with Ron Davis and a bunch of other kids. Probably the one when I was late coming home and unfairly (I had called and let them know!) got badly chewed out?  I got hungry as all get-out. this weekend. Two cans of soup, and a little bit of other junk did not go very far. Bad choice to be thrifty and no weekend meal tickets. Sunday I took two walks and and got a few RR car numbers and fretted. Where is Dusty and for that matter where is Jim M? 

Dec 5 and 6 were still wet and windy. I did manage the pre-registration and then had nothing left to do to go on with my scholarship and classes. Mr Jones, the Philosophy Prof,  had suggested we meet and discuss the class but  he never seemed to be in his office. I was having trouble in that class and am not sure why, really. I completed and passed it, probably a charity grade! Watched an old repeat of The Rifleman in the TV room off the Morton lobby and felt a bit sorry for myself when I was not busy. 

Then Wednesday and Thursday the sun came out and life looked better. I got the bottom 1 on the latest  accounting test, the third highest grade but there were so many 4s and 5s Mr Gardner decided to give it again. After History and Science in the afternoon there was a pre-law meeting which I found interesting, and then dinner and the rodeo club. I rode back to the dorm with JoAnn K and Carol told me I'd had a long distance call and they would call again about 9:00. The third ring it was for me, and it was Dusty! He was in Williams in a bar with some of his crew and would be in Flagstaff about 7:30 PM the next day! He mentioned he was going to Mexico on his vacation taking Johnny fishing  and I was like whoa! That was what I had told the Aunts the year before when I got to Sacramento. Such an odd non-coincidence! Clairvoyant or what?

Then Thursday came. Still nice weather. I did get a card from Jim M with future plans and $5.00 from Grandma Witt. It won't go far but provided a little holiday shopping. Ate dinner late and then fussed around the room til about 7:00 when I just had to get out. I walked around in the dark. It was sharply cold. Finally the Little Bluebird (as I had named Dusty's blue VW) pulled up--maybe close now to 8:00. He had gotten away late and driven 72 miles from Drake in about 50 minutes. Thank gosh it was not icy. We went out by the same corral and  snuggled in the back seat, which is not very roomy but at least not buckets and no gear shift bump in the middle. After we  gradually shed clothes, it was so cold he put a blanket around me and later back in the front he turned the heater on.  We had a needed and intense reunion and got back just in time for me to slip into the dorm at 11:00.  Then it was Friday. I was staying a second weekend in Flagstaff, but not feeling too lonely this time. 

Photos. First the little Blue VW that I saw the first time in June at the pasture before many hardships occurred. I finally named it and then enjoyed togetherness in it, first mid October and again in early December. This is not it but a good stand-in. The next--not a Volkswagen for sure, though more like Moonspinner--but the image still brings some memories! Last, the forestry guy since I mention him now and then--he really seemed too young for me and had not yet decided who or what he would eventually be; this was in a cowboy phase. He was cute but too much like my high school crush, Tyce Miller. At this point I was NOT craving a romance fix! Looking was free though, like when you see a good looking horse or a beautiful  dog! A "cute" guy can be appreciated too.