Monday Memoir, April 17, 1965

 The first seven  months of 1965 were not generally too happy.  I had a growing sense things were winding down or at least going in much the wrong direction as far as the family/life and the family enterprise went. I could really do nothing to change or even divert a mere degree or two from the path to perdition that I started to visualize. Some days were "okay"; a very few were memorable and good, fun or  happy but they were far outnumbered by the opposite kind.  Truly if it were not for my somewhat tenuous link to Dusty, I am not sure what I might have done. I held to that like the knot at the end of my rope.

April 17, 1965 Sat

 Got up rather early and did my home chores. Gulped down a hasty breakfast and drove out to do the pasture work. The river was really running high. I guess the snow is going off fast up in the high country. We were back before 9:00. I cleaned the back porch and restacked the wood to make the shower available. Then I saddled Prez and brought up the steeds. I watered the fillies and Charlie Mike went up for mail. I got nothing and it nearly broke me. Oh Dusty!!  The Mayottes came and they talked on and on. They’re going to breed their mare to Leo--that is $200 that we drastically need anyway. They’re really quite nice. I put up the stock after they left, did my chores and loafed all afternoon. Cleaned my closet and that’s the only useful thing I did. I sorrowed over all the pretty clothes I have that I haven’t worn since I got out of school. If only Dusty could see me in some of my prettiest dresses. If only! We did the evening chores, ate and I read. Charlie Mike went to bed early, leaving the Easter Bunny detail to Mom and me. Now it’s late and I am lonely and tired and must go off to bed for another time.

Work, there was always work. A zillion jobs and tasks that needed to be done even aside from the daily routine of feed, water, exercise, check and doctor the animals and repair shaky facilities which were constantly failing or falling apart in a Murphy's Law paradigm. 

I guess the river was not too high to ride out, but at this stage, Mom and I drove out many mornings to take care of the pasture work. Spring was coming in fits and starts- rather like 2023 and many other times- and that meant getting more of the firewood out since it would not be needed constantly, making the shower on the back porch accessible, and trying to clean up the ubiquitous litter from wood, feed, mud tracked in etc.  

The Mayottes were a family in Prescott. Dad had met one of the parents --I'm not sure which or in what capacity--but the person worked at the Whipple VA Hospital and Dad was there a lot.  Anyway, they had horses including a small Appaloosa mare they wanted to get a colt from. They came to see the stallions and arrange for the mare's visit. They ended breeding her to Chief, I think, though I said Leo here.

I was such a compulsive re-arranger and organizer. It is like the old Roman saying about reorganizing to create an illusion of progress! I could be occupied for several hours to sort, maybe discard or make plans for any of my several hobbies or collections. My room had no closet but Dad had built me one and I made use of it. I did have a  lot of clothes and since I was now sewing I kept adding to the many hung on the bar. They saw little wear these days. Now and then I would get 'dressed up' to go on a non-work  trip, maybe to church with Evelyn or for some minor special event. Normally I lived in Levis and either my self-made shirts or heavier flannel ones in cold weather.

It was obviously Easter Eve. Charlie Mike and I had far outgrown the belief and pleasure in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and such but Alex was still a small kid, six years old that spring. I was not going to deny the baby of the family his pleasure in a celebration so I colored eggs and put together a little basket for him. I suppose Mom worked on that a bit as well but I was often the main Holiday Maker at this time.  Otherwise they might not have been observed at all! Who else was going to "waste" the time, energy and a little money on such frivolity? Part of that practice was my eldest daughter thing in operation. I felt obligated because at one time I had benefited from these occasions.

A few odd photos. This is Alex, in about 1962  on the back porch. The seat came out of the old Jeep we had many years prior. The photo is too dark to show much but it was always stacked with "stuff". Like there are feedbags hanging in the upper right corner.  Next one is earlier and that is Charlie Mike and not Alex since I was ten then. It was about  my birthday in 1953, a picnic on the 'claims' up on Mingus. The last is Freckles or "Candy Lady" the Mayotte's mare.