Monday Memoir, Dec 18, 1965

 Yes, gentle reader, as the Victorian writers were wont to say, you are going to be like,  "Whoa. Where are we now?" I did give some warning but yes, we are not in the Verde Valley anymore! I'll update more below.

Dec 18, 1965 Sat

We spent a hectic day trying to get everything fixed up. Ruth and Grace got frantic trying to get things done and they scream at each other a lot but I am used to it, pretty much. We talked quite a bit and I am really surprised how bitter they are against the folks. It sort of shocks me. I don’t quite know what to think about everything now after hearing their side of the story. The truth must be somewhere in the middle but it is quite a confusing puzzle.  Larry came by in the evening. He is very shy and quiet. Then he came back with Steve later while we were eating supper. Steve is a character, 6’7” with shaggy light brown hair and specs. And he plays the piano like neat-o. What would Dusty make of this? Oh, I miss him so. It shakes me up in a way; it’s like being at Dusty’s ‘til late Wednesday evening and all. I really couldn’t go home now.  I mailed the folks a letter when Ruth and I went shopping today but didn’t commit myself. I dunno what to do except wait and see what happens. We went to bed early, or I did, and slept and slept and slept.

On December 16 I was still dithering, trying to figure out how to make my break. I had thrown  a small tantrum after lunch and more "talks" and went to bed in the afternoon. The folks went out to do the chores and I fixed dinner  When they came back, Dad was in a snit and went directly to bed without eating. Mom and the boys were starting to eat but the boys were fussing and I did not want to eat either. I sat by the stove in the living room for a bit and then an inner voice said "Now". I changed into my tweed suit, grabbed my coat, purse  and overnight case and walked out the front door without a word to anyone. I collected my boots and suitcase from the shed and walked over to the depot and the work train. I sat for a bit talking to Dusty but then said I was not going to go home this time. We went over to the depot and he called Flagstaff--trains were running late due to the weather and I could probably get a seat. He looked at me. "Do you want to try?" I nodded. 

It was snowing a little in the valley and very snowy and icy up Oak Creek but we made it.  He helped me get a ticket, check my bag and waited while I called Aunt Ruth. Then we sat in Moonspinner and talked until the San Francisco Chief roared in with a swirl of snow.  He entrusted me to the porter who he knew and we kissed goodbye. The trip felt very unreal and even more so when the train got to Stockton the next afternoon. I had to get off there and wait to be picked up to go to Sacramento. The three aunts all came to get me and we ate at a smorgasbord buffet.  I was exhausted having slept very little in about 36 hours but I was there. I 'knew' I was dreaming, half amazing and half a nightmare. Was it, could it be real? 

Some other key information. Aunt Ruth was a representative for Beauty Counselor, a cosmetic outfit much like Avon and Mary K. They called their parties "teas" and she had one scheduled for shortly after I arrived. Larry and Steve were my cousins, Aunt Roxie's sons. Larry was two years younger than me and Steve a bit closer to Charlie Mike's age. They were in college at Davis. 

Now that I was there I almost panicked over the animals and hoped they would be okay. I mean I knew there was nothing I could do but it was so sudden and for the moment so out of my control. I was not sure what sort of reaction I would get from my Arizona family. And I did miss Dusty--greatly. He was now off to Mexico with Johnny and out of reach until early January. I was virtually cut off from all familiar and had awakened in a totally new and vastly different world. 

The Aunts and Uncle Dan when I saw him were very kind and caring, all tried to make me feel welcome and I soon discovered how disgusted they all were at Dad and Mom and the mess of a life they had gotten themselves and the three of us kids mired in. There was a lot of cussing and some very bitter comments. I was shocked, embarrassed and ashamed to have been part of the long-term whine/cry/beg/threaten efforts that had gone on for much too long.  They did not seem to fault or blame me and I started then to realize how the enmeshed and dysfunctional family had played havoc with my mind and that I was truly not at fault. It was enlightening and verified what Mr Peckham had told me, just a week before. I suspected  this reprieve or escape would be temporary but had no idea how long or what came next. 

Here are a few photos that are a bit pertinent.  They are kind of in reverse order. The first is the front yard at Aunt Roxie's home. I stayed at Grace and Ruth's shared home for a few days and then was at Roxie's through the rest of my visit. The older sisters' house burned to the ground about five years later and I have no photo of it. Next are the three Aunts when they met me in Stockton. L-R Ruth, Grace and Roxie.  Then the Stockton Depot--the south end as I saw it when the train arrived about 3:00 pm Dec 17. And finally the Flagstaff Depot on a much different day, taken about a year later.