Memoir Monday, Feb 5, 1966

 I had come to waiting for the other shoe to drop. There had been a few small flare-ups of the familiar "troubles"  but they faded down fairly fast. So I figured when it fell it would be a Size 15 irrigation boot with lots of barnyard attached.  It was hard to do all my work with fingers crossed! At this time I recognized a vague female deity for whom I yet had no real name but I asked Her to continue to protect me.and thanked her for the umbrella thus far.

Feb 5,1966

Everything has been going good. I’m nearly scared to believe it. It just can’t last, I fear, but I can hope! I got up late and lazy this morning; we had biscuits for breakfast and drove out to the pasture to do the chores. We all went and cut off another section of the big cottonwood. Dusty was ‘with’ me all the while. I can see his face so clearly now as it was yesterday with dusty blue eyes half teasing and half tender… Charlie Mike and I did the midday chores hastily and debated who’d go to Prescott. I was selected. We went via Cottonwood where we stopped at the feed store and the clinic. I guess the Boss had a good talk with Peckham (who I heard on the radio yesterday while visiting). We headed over the mountain about 3:00. I bought a shift pattern, a valentine for Dusty and some tampons. I have finally gotten so I can use them. You really have to relax to put one in. I went twenty six days this time. I still have cramps some but not as bad as I used to. We got groceries etc. and came home about 6:30. Charlie Mike had done the home chores so we just had to go to the pasture. We hustled the chores. Had a good supper. I recorded my expenses and such and thought about my sewing projects. I think I can make a shift jumper dress and a gathered skirt from the navy blue material. Then I’ll make a blouse from the butterfly print if I can and two blouses and a skirt from the other blue rose/lace print--one peasant style and one tailored. Then I’ll have a wardrobe of clothes for sure. Maybe I’ll draw them quickly before bedtime but I’m about ready to quit for the night. Love you, Dusty. The valentine I bought cost 36 cents but it is really lovely. He likes roses--had a Jackson & Perkins catalog (the same one Judy sent me) on the counter yesterday. One more thing to add to the list of sharing.

I had managed a good visit with Dusty on Friday. With iffy weather, close tabs on my time and work and no way to get out at night, it did not happen as often as I wished. So every time I could sit and talk a little while was a treasure. He was still saying I should have stayed in CA and I knew that was probably true but we still were both glad to be able to share a moment here and there. He wanted to be sure I did not get in trouble over it. 

I can't recall Dad talking to Peckham again but I guess he did. Why he did not come out in a snarling fit and tantrum I have no idea! Maybe after hearing more from Mom and a bit from me, the counselor knew what not to say or how to say things that would not seem offensive. Dad did NOT want anyone telling him how to do anything and that certainly included dealing with the family. Hmmm. Wondering now about that. 

Going to Prescott was really not a huge treat but I took advantage of it since I still had a little money to spend. I had put most of what I came home with in secret savings (I had both checking and savings in my name only) but was glad to be able to buy a thing or two now and then. It was also a relief to stop using the awkward belt and pads each month. I never went back to that!

My old paper-doll-making practice had mostly morphed into design work. I sketched ideas and sometimes did really use one of the dolls to trace around and then color and detail a project. I had five yards of the blue print I mentioned and did as I had planned out. Or maybe no; I know there was a peasant style blouse, but I think it may have become a dress--full skirt and fitted waist with scoop neck rather than a skirt and no tailored blouse in that fabric--would not look right..   The butterfly print,I can barely recall. I had made a shirt in an orange-red butterfly print Grandma gave me, but that was earlier. The navy blue did make a gathered skirt and simple straight sleeveless dress.  For a tomboy cowboy girl I did love clothes and rather feminine styles too.And I made new things whenever I could even if they were aarely worn.

Relative to that morning, we had earlier cut down a big cottonwood tree that was mostly dying and although it is punky wood that does not burn clean, it was heat. We cut slabs maybe a foot to eighteen inches in height and split them with wedges; that was a task Charlie Mike and I did a lot. We used a single jack or sort handled sledge hammer and drive old ax heads for wedges to split off chunks.  It was hard to get up to Mingus to get better wood at this point so we made do. We were not living 'high on the hog' at this time!

Odd photos:  Me wearing the butterfly shirt I mentioned. It was a favorite. The blue print fabric--here in a quilt square. The fabric used in the shirt, again in a quilt square, and last, a bit of the fabric I used to make matching shirts for Dusty and me. I thought it was so pretty! This was in a scrapbook. I find many reminders of projects in the first quilt I completed after Jim died and a smaller one that I use for a lap and nap robe. And then the larger quilt just after I finished it--half of the front of it.