Suddenly February was over and March marched in, its normal mix of weather and also of events and adventures that were suddenly running wildy through my 'new' version of life. If my narrative seems disjointed and I might appear to be floundering a bit, my excuse is how hard it was to reinvent myself in this titally new environment I had landed in, with little prepartion or warning. I felt a lot of Wow and a lot of Whoa! So let's go back to the weekend I anticipated at the end of the last week's tale. WARNING!! The next passage is semi x-rated and a tell-tale that in time I would go on to write steamy romance!! Warning II, this week's report is going to be *very* long so feel free to skim or skip anything! Including just scroll past!
Feb 25, Sunday
Well, it was a short weekend but cool, really cool. I left Flag Friday afternoon as scheduled and got to Phoenix just a little early. Dale and his bud Delbert came in and found me sitting in the depot feeling just a little lost. Del drove us to the motel--the Flamingo,(one of the old Phoenix classics; I saw it in Az Highways recently!) at 24th and Van Buren. For just a mment that address gave me the shudders but I got over it. Our room was 296. For a minute or two we were strangers . He asked if I was hungry and I said no. Then he took me in his arms and everything else faded into nothingness 'til morning--late morning. We got up, had breakfast and went walking, looking for a bathing cap for me and flip-flops for him because of the pool rules. We spent a couple of hours in and around the pool and then went up to the room and had hamburgers sent up. We ate them and made love again and he slept while I watched TV and doodled. We finally got up fairly late, bathed, dressed and and went out. Had a good Mexican dinner and then went to Harry's Capri, a nearby night spot where they had live wesern style music. Dale had a couple of beers and I sipped a Tom Collins (knew to keep it light now) and we danced a few slow ones. I was not a dancer but just shut my eyes and let him move me around. That was fun. We finally went back 'home' to the room and to bed. He sleeps like a rock once he sacks out. Me not so much. We finally woke up this morning and "did it" once more (seven times in 36 hours!?!), both of us tired and sore but too crazy to know when to quit. Too soon it was 3:00. We walked to the bus station where he kissed me and put me on the bus for Flagstaff.
I'm of mixed emotions, part of me says "Huh-unh" but another reaches out to him. He's been hurt so deeply, probably quite a bit his own fault, but he is so very like Dusty, though still just himself. Not really good looking at all, but he knows how to turn me on, really on. Kiss and nibble until I am writhing and whimpering and then he takes me and I melt apart and swear I'd die if the pain went any deeper and I'd die if he stopped. I scratch a bit and bite his shoulder and then it is over and he lays still for a long minute and then pulls away from me and I lie there limp and boneless and utterly content for ahwile and then I am ready to start over again. I do not worry that I am cold or even feel I warm up slow anymore!! Maybe I should be ashamed and way back in a couple of musty little Victorian corners, I am. But mostly I am not and really can't see why I should be!! When "next time" will be remains to be seen but at least he is not as patient or as overworked as Dusty. The similarities ae why I have named him "Smoky." I almost love him but not quite. Something is missing and I can't quite decide what. That troubles me.
Feb 26, Monday
Guess who called me about 10:30 last night! The Boss. He is out of 'jail' and in California now, released into Uncle Dan's "Custody" so I was in no danger of running into him over the weekend! I am kind of dragged out today but not bad all considered. I've got some sore muscles but other than that I'm fine, ready to roll again...that is a pun, by the way!
I ignored Big Ray at the cafeteria as he's old news. Dale couldn't stand much more kicking around. (How about me, I could ask but I think I just may be tougher than he is in some ways.) Females really are the stronger sexwhen it comes to real fortitude but they can sure be bitchy wicked. Don't I know. I may owe the male sex a kick or two but I'm not going to take that out on somebody like Dale. Don't knock it if you rock it, doll. (Or if it rocks you?) I need a longhorn. It's my first today . Dale smoked up a pack and a half of mine along with his PallMalls but he bought me a pack and showed me a good enough time that I'm sure not bitchin' about it. I don't want to get too lost over him, but he's got to see that all girls are not like "Noni" and "Peggy" (some bad ex's). Maybe I can love it up but I am no matress back or throat slicing tw*t either. I play it very straight. As long as a guy wants me and treats me fair, I'm his girl and when it's over I may cry but I won't go mean on him. Still I keep hoping that I will get a real keeper someday and get into double harness for keeps. But I won't vegetate until then.
Dusty is always specal because he wa my true first and in many ways I owe him my life. I did promise and meant it. He was both my first love and first lover and has parts of me no one else ever can. I am stil not sure why he faded out when and how he did. I may still go over to Kingman but ... I plan to go down to Nancy's (Shellman) on Sunday if I get my work caught up some. I want to see how Buzz and Leo are coming along.
Feb 28, Wednesday
Still haven't hard from Dale--maybe tomorrow. It was windy ugly today. At noon Big Ray came in with this gal they call Hilda. She looks like a central Euroopean peasant--not a typical college girl for sure. I can't figure out now if they are secertly married (she does not wear a ring) shacked up , going steady or even relatied? Shaking head. I got my posters that I'd entirely given up on and they are really cool. Clark Gable is something else (GWTW role)\ and Steve McQueen on a motor cycle!. What more could I ask for? I sort of frittered the evening away. I really am tired so maybe I'll try to go to bed early for a change. Only two classes tomorrow so that is a relief.
I rough-finished The Rebellion tonight (story I was writing) and I really like it,. I want Mike Johnson to read it and comment but may not have that opportunity. He was my last semseter's English teacher. Got another chapter of Cindy done, too, That makes four out of sixteen, 40 pages so far. I think I can finish it by Easter. Tomorrow I've got to concentrate on roughing out my formal case for Marktng, Have no other assignments for Friday so that helps. I'll spend the evening in the library. Get that done and check out my first round of books for papers--several to be done. The letter of proposal is due Tuesday; Will discuss it more tomorrow.
March 1, Fruiday
In like a lamb? It was a beautiful day. I fett' rretty' but saw no one important. BTW, Ray and Hilda are not married--but they are engaged and getting married in June. I get the feeling it is a sort of arranged family thing. The Polasky's are Polish but whether long term citizens I have no idea. Have not heard from Dale and I am about to get ticked. If he hasn't written by tomorrow... He is getting me spoiled. I often waited weeks to hear from Dusty. I am still tempted to jaunt over to Kingman and find if he is still around there.. I have sure gotten immoral lately, drinking, smoking, free-loving...so I could be daring.
Tomorrow I've got to get to work, seriously . Most of the day to earn the privilege of going to Cottonwood on Sunday. I am wondering about Stone-a new driver I heard mentioned. He is probably older than Louie (that's impossible!) but I do have this thing about bus drivers. I wrote to the folks today and rather laid down the law, too, but I tried to be diplomatic about it, Geez, if they knew what all I've been up to, wouldn't they flip? Basically that is why I'm doing it, I guess., Rebellion .I'll have to send them my story, too. I don't know if they will like it but they should read it,
Tonight I'm kind of sitting easy. Nearly everyone is gone and the dorm is spooky quiet. A week ago I was almost to Phoenix. "By the time I get to Phoenix..." Sorry, that will have to wait for awhile. I'm going to have to go to work this summer or i wil run out of funds, probably. Well, it will be good for me . I kind of intednded to anyway. I'll probably try waitressing, That is one way to meet poeple and meeting people is importatn, especially male people. Made up my strawberry print muu-muus tongiht. One long and one short to go over pants or a bathing suit,. I really think I'll try to make a bathing suit, I'll hunt for patterns if I go on a little shopping jaunt tomorrow. I have to take a bit of a break sometimes. I may go to hear the 5th Dimention tomorrow night. I think it would be a good show. "So I just dropped in to see what condition my condition is in. I've been "out" for awhile,.
'Splains? That 24th and Van Buren address--that was the state mental hospital where Dad was sent in lieu of prison for assualt with a deadlyweapon. He was always mad about it but Dr Joe Hudson and Uncle Dan did him a huge favor to get that plea! A felony record would be worse. "The Rebellion" was a story I wrote--not quite but maybe leaning toward literary fiction. I may put it on this blog before long--it was not pretty but I was not thinking too pretty about then.
Picture? I actually looked on line and that old motel site was closed years sgo and there was later a Flamingo Airporter at the same location but it is closed too. Right now I cannot get it but may find the Az Highways issue that did have a shot of it along with other historical spots in Phoenix--50-60 years ago! So what else might do? I am at a loss!! Just for tax, old ones used before will do. That was my bus era!!
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