Another unmemorable week for the most part. It was coming up to spring break and I think everyone was kind of tired and mired down and tired of winter. Flagstaff winter could be briefly beautiful and exciting but then it got soggy and cold and slushy and too many glum gray days. This is long but each entry is fairly short.
March 17, 1968 Sunday
Here it is another dismal gray Sunday in Flag' with the wind wailing and an occasional snowflake flying. I am so shattered since now I cannot "climb Mt Eldon with Phil and Ray to count pine trees (ha ha). Nor can I number the yard or get some much needed exercise. I am getting so flabby that I just hate myself but it is hard to know what to do about it. No mail at all yesterday. I am beginning to thing nobody loves me anymore. Most dimsal. I have a stack of sewing projects I could tackle and also should type a chapter of Cindy because time is getting short but I am unenthused about everything today. Tonight I have to get beautified for my admirers so I only have until about 9:30 to work on my various projects so I really should get busy. I have done most of my homework, anyway. Danm the weather. I had so hoped it would be nice. Maybe it will next week and I can travel as I really can't risk Phoenix til the next weeek. I'll just have to get busy apronto and ignore the dismal day. It is silly to sit submerged in gloom
March 18, 1968 Monday
So far not a bad day at all. (for a Monday). Not too much in the way of mail--letters from Judy and Mama Witt. At lunch Carolyn had me come sit with her so I ended up right behind teh Forester's table. ray looked at me coming back from getting milk but I was "busy talking". I'm pretty sure he lives in teh brownstone former frat house on Beaver becasue he was coming backk with his Forestry jacket when I wa coming 'home' later. He carefully passed me, not too cloe and not to far and I felt he expected me to speak so I said "Hello." and he replied "How are you today?" and nodded/ today was supposed to be the firt \\st day of spring. Would you beleive ? The weather hadn't been informed, obviously.
I have heaps of things I should be doing tongiht but I am utterly without enthusiasm and energy. Probably what I should do is go to bed early and get a good night's sleep for a change. Then tomorrow I can write up my cases for Friday and Monday, type a chpter of cindy and do a few other things. Mayabe I'll try to type one chapter, take a shower and turn in. It's been a kind of a drag today.
March 19, 1968 Tueasay
I'm so tired tongiht at 11:40 that I feel sick. It ha been a long day as so many are. Got a letter from Dale today . I've spent 2 1/2 to 3 hours tryibng to get one accounting problem for Friday and I'm ao mad and sic ofit I could just scream. I finally quit Frank Ogden called me today to find out the assignment for Marketing,. I wonder how he knew where to locate me? Actually he is not bad. It's funny becasue I mentioned him in my letetr to the folks. T omorrow I've got to hit the railroad books for finance stuff. Can't go see Dale for awhile until he gets some mon so I'll have ato do as much as I can on both papers since April is going to be frantic what with tripping to Judy's etc. And March ismore than half gone alrady. Lissen-I'ved had for today. I'm really gagged out, tripped out, stoned out --not even real. Tomorrow is anotehr day, maye a better one.
March 20, 1968 Wednesday
I come to the conslusion I sjhould attach myself to some Ivy League r with a fat butt stuffed into tight pants but I am afraid I could not hack that . Ho about Fe (Frank Ogden) but I don't hink he us quite y tyupe eitehr, a rather prtty little boy and does not aspire to the drugstore cowboy routin. That is surpriseing considering his backgrouind. But he is too young anyway.
Got letters from amry and Linda today, pictures from Mary and I'm real pleasd with them although it does not look like me! Maybe my games with B&D agreed with me beacsue I looked like "somebody' with myshades and braids. Youthful but not quite a teenager!!l
March 21, 1968 Thursday
Hi again at 11"30 pm. Damn, I'm tired but I want to write about today anyway. My two classes were okay. After DAPR I went uup too Mr Davis' office. He was very polite and complimentary, much to my surprise. I find myself rather liking him now. I talked with him about ten minutes I suppose. I typed chapter 10 of Cine, write a letter to Charluie mike sincwe I got one from him today.I have so much to do it flat scares me. I got tomorrow's marketing assignment done and still couldn't get that lousy accounting problem. Spent about an hour and a half in the computer lab. Mr Knox camme in and talked to me briefly. He isone of the homeliest men I've ever sen but really quite fascinating. I think I impressed him by being thre so soon anyay which is good. I need all the 1s I can get! I've got Lane sewed up to get 100% without even being booze and bed buddies. That is aok. Yech, I couldn';t sleep with him to save my lfe! I have sure got my weekend cut outfor me and the next two months, substantially, Gads, there is no rest for the wicked, is there? I've got to get out and do some hiking this weekend unless the weatehr is rally rotten And I've got to catch up on sleep a little if possible; I've been doing with about 5-6 hours and I'm beginning to run down somewhat.
March 23, 1968 Saturday
Just a half hour away from March 24, actually. I haven't done as well as i shouild have maybe but I have been pretty conscientious and busy today. I got all my week's marketing and accounting assignments done anywa. Tomorrow I've fgot to write my process paer and Finanace Game boo and do some housekeeping chores. If the weatehr is halfway decent I'll hike the high rail out east and numer the yard and see how many pasing frieghts I can get. Just have to take it easier on Sunday! Must do my ironing , clean this filthy room a little and clean up myself. I can't afford to go tripping at least until I go to Judy's at Easter--spring break. I've got to be pretty frugal with my funds from here on until I decide what to do this summer. I really don't want to go to summer school as I think I kind of need a break. But I don't know whether I deserve one abnd can afford the time. I don't hink I want to go to California for the summer,, thopugh. That's one sure hting and I'll probably end up sauing right here. In a different dorm. Should see about jobs soon really.
I walked out on Observatory Hill and the west track this afternoon. The fresh air and sunshine sure felt good. I would rather havbe been ridding but walking sure beats hnaging your butt on a chair! It's kind of hard tro beleive that the folks are all in Caifornia and I am in Arizona by my lonesome. Back in the apst I wanted changes so myu=uch and dreamed of going to school or almost anything to get away. No I am here and it sin't heaven but it is better than hell. Stil I dream about the old days and fighting and wake up exhausted from fighting it in my subconscious. Will I nnever be really free from the past? I doubt it. It is a partof me . Ought to quit freeing over it and over Dusty and all that is out of reach,. Dale is within reachm but probably too easy. Who then? Wait and see, little Miss Impatience. There is stil quite a bit of life ahead of you.
Pictures? There is really not anything to show.. I'll see if there are any NAU views I have not used to death. Like Alice in Wonderland said, words with no pictures are so dull! So you get trains. Fu=isrt is the main yard, just uop thestreet (Agassiz then() from wehre I lived from summer 68 on,. Then the west track from a spot low on the Observatory Hill aka Mars Hill with the observatory. And last, out east along the track where I often walked realy all four years but mostly the first two. Odd that I kept that fascinaation so much; and knew charlie Mike liked any info, pix, numbers etc that I might get.
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