No decisions yet but at least two potential changes were starting to take shape. Moving off campus was one and changing my main area of studies from Business to Social Studies under Liberal Arts were beginning to look like possibilities and even goals. I was getting frustrated as accounting moved into advanced stages and far outreached basic mathematics and number crunching with more esoteric and --to me--almost obscure purposes. Other business courses were really not interesting or feeling relevant to me. I was definitely not an MBA candidate. Living alone in one small room was almost enforcing my reclusive tendencies and although I would never be a real extrovert, solitude and isolation were starting to exacerbate depression. I had a long way to go yet but it was an initial step in finding who and what my real self was. Perhaps that is part of what higher education is for.
April 21, 1968 Sunday
It was snowing and ugly and I skipped the rodeo. They may not even have had it for all I know. I got two more marketing cases done, ironed and exchanged some clothes and made my poncho, a ;plaid one trimmed in red. Went to the movie with Robin--it was "Wait 'Til Dark" which I saw in Tucson with Mary, but it is still a good show and I have always koved Audrey Hepburn. She is so cool. Well, the next two weeks I am going to be one very busy little gal. Starting tomorrow... So I think I'll go to bed directly and get a few extra minutes of shut-eye in preparation.
April 22, 1968 Monday
A month into spring but the snow is half a foot deep outside and still sifting down, silent silevery flakes, driven errant by a rising wind. Still feeling kind of detached. Maybe I can grab Stacy Newton temporarily. It would definitely be temporarily as he is a temporary type! Or I might try Ken Lincoln. I haven't even seen him yet but if Alice W could, I could too, if I shouild so desire I look nineteen and think thirty so I should be just what the doctor ordered for these slightly jaded chaps of aerly middle age. Safely legal but still seeming youthful. I have definitlyl lost my innocence and timidity but have not quite become a full fledged pussy-cat because I still think of myself as a "good" girl even if not quite nice. Or is it vice versa? I never sleep with non-whites--so far--no teenagers, no real hippies or surfers or my friend's husbands, I am really quite honorable. So far even, if I can say so, I've stuck with blue eyed anglo-saxons and I basically intend to continue that poluicy . I'd hate to have a brown eyed kid and one must remember there is always that chance no matter what precautions one attemps.
Oh, wasn't I on a tear that day! Actually a lot of that was just blowing smoke and hot air. I was kind of frustrated and fighting off depression. C'est la vie.
April 23, 1968 Tuesday
Tuesday AM , so far so goo on my schedule. I really think I may drop Data Processing. it would be ashame in a way but I just don't see how I can get everything done. I went to bed a little early last night having gotten my paper for English written. Dreamed of Stacy; it was wild. To my recall the first time I dreamed of making love from start to finish without my puritan subconscience blocking out some of it. It was a bit difficult after all that to return to reality and get my carcass out of bed to face the day. This will be a long and busy one. Thursay or Firday I'll go pay Ken Lincoln a call. What ho. He may not be my type nor I his but it won't h urt to investigate after the rumors I have heard lately. That about Stacy gets me, really. I had not even thought of him in literally ages. Maybe he was always after me in a way. Used to stop ad talk when I was out riding, They said gossips always linked us. May as well enjoy it if I am blamed, no?. He looks more dissolute now, being older, but ...I can just see him in an Eastwood style ooncho, and smoking say Ro Ttan"trumps"...Oh no! You are putting me on, really.
April 24, 1968 Wednesday
Felt kind of depressed yesterday but I made the highest grade on the marketing test before Easter. In spie of failing to study much and spending a wild afternoon. And I got 3-A of the Dapr problems . The Dapr test wa a doozy; I'm dying ti find out hoiw I did--probably not too swift. But we'll see, Now I've got to try for the otHwer four by Friday. He gave us n extension, Thank golly. Now maybe I'll get part of them done, at least. Start on my ATSF major research this evening. That's the breaks. I'll get Moodys and Standard and Poor's covered and maybe check for magazine articles. My pick for finance--why not railroad stock??
April 26, 1968 Friday
Am all wore out and can't afford to loaf this weekend. I've fought the comnpurer some more today--fun and games. But I got program #5 to run Now there is only the bitchy 3-B, Ron Raglund was there a lot. I think he kind of likes me. He is rather cute but hardly my type. Might be fun tohough , just to talk and such. Am toroughly puzzled over what to do for the summer,. I guess I'd betterplan to go to summer school though I may go visit the folks the first of June but only if someone sends me the train fare However, it wouild be expensive to stay here too.
I ought to get my backside off to bed as I set my alarm for 6:30 so I can get up and wash clothes and eat before heading down tlo the library for the day, I've got to rough draft my main paper for Englsih this weekend and type it by 3:00 pm Monday to take to Mr Davis. We aren't having marketing though, and maybe I can cut finance if I have to and my accounting assignment is done but I should skim the chapter for a quiz, Should also begin drafting the ATSF paper. Sleep while you can, my pretty. Ha ha,.
And I wrote not a word on my birthday...
Photos: The Flagstaff/NAU rodeo arean in a suummer view. Looking out my window in Campbell Hall, kind of in between snows that spring. And anotaher with snow.... Did it really snow that much in Flag? Some years for sure. I think less teh next two..
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