In many ways this was a very powerful and pivotal day. I did not realize the full impact for awhile but it became obvious and almost essential in mere weeks. During the next two months, the effects came to be far more significant than I had even begun to guess at this entry. Though not fully realized yet, this was the first creaking little turn of the actual wheel of change. This month (October) had tested and tried me fiercely but I was finding new strength and inner assurance that let me press on. A semi-meltdown or two did happen along with a few brief detours and side-steps, but a larger and surer goal was starting to take shape. I still struggled to think for myself and plow through the smoke and mirrors constantly flashing around me and even to dare those bars and walls that seemed so insurmountable. Each baby step was one more up and out of that spiritual and emotional quicksand to ultimate freedom.
Oct 30, 1965, Sat
This was quite a day. From 5:30 when I woke up ‘til 1:30 a.m. when I finally got to bed. It’s nearly too jumbled to record. I thought we might not go but we did and were away about 9:30. It proved to be a hot day in Phoenix. The trip down was uneventful. We got our hay at Freesh’s where Charlie Mike and I loaded most of it. Then we drove over to Tempe and got to the motel about 2:30. We visited with Grace and rested ‘til Ruth came about 5:00. They sure are different for sisters who’ve been together nearly all their lives. Ruth had to pack and I helped some. Then she and I went out to get food for the others and ate our own meal at a coffee shop. It was an interesting interlude for me. They are working hard on me to get me to come over but I think I may have other plans. We and they left about 9:30. We found all the gas stations were going to be closed but one in New River wasn’t. So we got home about 1:30. I only slept a brief little on the trip and fell very wearily into bed when we got home. I really have too much to think about. It will take some sorting.
We had been needing to make big hay run but had received a call the prior day from Dad's two elder sisters that they would be in Tempe on the weekend, so we postponed the trip. I had actually caught Dusty on Friday, not long before he left, which had cheered me. A brief visit was better than nothing!
To be away all day as we planned required a complicated effort to get the critical chores done. Charlie Mike and I were both to go and Mom could do very little. Alex was not old enough to help much yet--just six. Thus the early start, although delays always seemed inevitable. It was getting chilly up in the Verde, but Phoenix was still very warm. What was Dad doing while we did most of the loading? One big shrug--do not recall. Probably attempting some sort of deal.
Grace and Ruth Morgan were 5 and 3 years older than Dad. Grace was semi-retired by now--a kind of voluntary thing?--and Ruth was still a teacher and administrator in a big high school in the Sacramento area. She'd came to some conference or seminar. As I noted, their personalities were very different. Grace was quiet, sober and thoughtful while Ruth was voluble, chatty, and seemed ditsy or shallow but really was not. I went with her to get carry-out and we ate at that place. She suggested I quickly get my own PO Box and open a bank account, saying she and Uncle Dan would provide me the funds needed. I think she gave me a check. Ever since the year I dropped out of high school, they had all four (Dad's siblings) been working to get me out of a situation they perceived as not productive or beneficial to me. By now they all felt I should be in college. For the most part I agreed but was not sure I would like every aspect of their plans and direction for me. For a time that became almost moot but that is getting ahead of the story.
We started north very late and were lucky to find one service station open. That big old truck with a heavy and high load--several tons of hay--gulped a lot of gas and could only go so far on a tank and fumes! Thus we got home very late. How the animals were fed I do not recall. Maybe Mom had or had enlisted some help like maybe Charley Bryant. At any rate it was late to bed after a very long day. I was too tired not to sleep but had a tangle of ideas and questions rolling around in my head and probably some odd dreams. However, I did take care of the PO Box and bank account within a few days.
Photos? First here are the three Aunts some weeks later. Ruth is on the left, Grace in the middle and Roxie, a few years younger than them and than Dad, on the right. The two eldest had been slender when young but now in their 55-65 ages were heavy as their mother had been. Roxie was always sturdy. I am sure I have featured the F700 truck before but here it is again. It is behind Patrick, with a load much like the one we brought home. I know there were well over 100 bales on such a load. If I ever counted I do not recall the exact number. Possibly 150 or even more--depending on whether two or three wire size bales. Somewhere from 65 to 120 pounds apiece!
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