Monday Memoir Aug 26, 1966

 

Aug 26, 1966

I was writing most days by now but oddly did not on August 26 and not sure why. However I did on the 25^th and 27^th, so that will have to do. They rather run together in my narrative.

Aug 25, 1966

Stayed awake half the night listening to the folks (dad mainly) complain and gripe . I  raged silently inside half the night so it was hard to keep going all day but I did. Rode and led, saw the local in and a crew truck but no sign of Earl. We made it up to Jerome. Mr West was very agreeable and suggested that I see Mr. McLarney who is chairman of the Dollars for Scholars committee. That all sounded favorable. I got to drive out with the boys to do the chores. I’m a fairly competent driver now but still can improve greatly. And to think I thought I’d never be able to drive period. And I may even really get to college and living in a dorm yet. That’s absolutely crazy. I did dishes and made cookies for mom so I think I earned my chow today. Damn but I’m tired. But it’s only ten days now until September 5^th. I have a lot more poise now than I once did. Lots of room for improvement but half a year away from home ought to do a lot for me. I am enthused abut it if no one else is. I thought of Dusty and pictured him at his desk in his camp car, the radio on and he’s working on paper work or maybe his coins with papers and photos strewn around.

Aug 27, 1966

Its 11:00 so small wonder that I am tired. Haven’t really done much today though nor yesterday. I rode Leo yesterday and had a long talk with Maureen. She’s not planning to be at NAU this fall. I was sorry to hear that. No special news today but Charlie Mike and I had a nice visit with Earl. He says B&B #6 will be at Drake until the first of the year at least. But that is of small significance to me except that Drake is only so many miles from Flagstaff, mostly on a good highway. It is beginning to seem more real to me that I might go now. But I dare not let my hopes get too high. They can be dashed cruelly so very easily. Oh I’d be shattered if I wasn’t very careful!  There is too much to do in too little time. That is my main worry now. Well I got my three letters to the Santa Fe executives done last night. Now to round up some “fan club members.” Ain’t that just an absolute howl? It sure is a crazy world. I hate it but they make a liar and a cheat of you. So if I must, I’ll be a damn good one.  And don’t think I can’t.

I know some ‘splaining is needed here! For one thing, Mom had started a job in Cottonwood, another effort thru the clinic, I think. There was a new small factory making some kind of garments and she started there about the 15^th so I was catching up some of the household tasks as well as still doing the main livestock work. September 5 was  the start of dorm move in at NAU, I think. Whether I would be there then or not I had no real idea and barely dared to hope.

While directly to me, Dad had mostly been all chipper and enthused about me going to college or acted so, almost as it if had been his idea and he was all for it. But I overhead him that night bitching to Mom about it. Not quite the same as the “donkey murderer” diatribe but scarcely milder. I was such a piece of trash, lazy and selfish and wanting more than I deserved or was entitled to, shirking my duty and abandoning my responsibility to the family and the “business”  and not keeping to my ‘proper’ supportive role etc.   Needless to say this totally infuriated me!! I was not a freaking indentured servant! My ‘dues’  or bond had long since been paid IMO.

And what’s this “Clarkdale Santa Fe Fan Club”?  That was a hoot. Charlie Mike and I had been discussing we’d both love to go to work for the railroad in time and I had written off for all sorts of information about the ATSF company and mentioned the “Clarkdale Santa Fe Fan Club” in some of those letters. I had even drawn up a ‘membership card’ and started a big file on the data. It was really almost a joke, but some of those PR and Headquarters chaps took it for real. Whoa--what should I do now? Postpone and prevaricate!  LOL. This little tale was not quite over yet…

I was starting to almost hope this NAU gig was going to work out. My mood rose and fell day by day, almost hourly, but I was making myself press ahead and at least act as if it was going to be real. By the next week it was still not positive but before long... Stay tuned!!

Pictures--scarce but a few of names I mentioned from my high school career, especially senior year. In the first one, there is Jim McLarney middle lower row and above at the right, Joella Mahoney, my art teacher, who later became a noted artist of the southwest landscapes. In the second group,  Mrs Fitzgerald  the counselor and to her right Ernest Gabrielson who was the other English teacher I had and had gone to high school with Jim Walton in Bisbee!  I knew them all, of course, but had not taken classes from all of them. I miss a few-there may have been one more page in the year book. Do not see Mr Clark or Mr Crawford here but they do not figure in this current epoch.  And last, an ATSF Fan  Member card, created without benefit of any thing but ink and my hand.