Memoir Monday, July 14, 1967

July 14, 1967

Another fast week but I actually covered it better than I realized. Besides the normal journal entry I found a few pages not in the notebook, which I wrote at another time and then just stuck into the bundle . I used a second steno pad like the one I got when I began to keep a journal again after the 1966 summer blow-up and in it recorded Jan 3-July 21.  While at home I sometimes wrote on loose paper and stashed it in my purse or a folder; I did this in spare minutes elsewhere also. I covered July 12 and 14 some that way. 

First July 14, since that is the official day. It was Friday.

Ain't I got fun? This has been quite a day. Took my two exams this morning. The stat one was really a booger but I think I did okay.on the Econ. I then helped Lynn move all afternoon and   was in the midst of cleaning and rearranging the room when she burst in. She had decided to go to California after all. So I had to practice driving the Impala some. It took awhile to get used tot the brake and the automatic but otherwise, no sweat. I saw her off on ATSF #1 (San Fran Chief) which was 1 1/2 hours late and watched the Super Chief and El Cap through. Then I drove out to the airport road and back just for fun. I can't believe how neat! It is mine until Tuesday morning. I guess Monday I'll get some money which will help as I have to gas it up again but she was willing to let me drive it. I just can't afford to get caught without a license is all. That would be bad news, It is after 12:00. Guess I'd better get some shuteye. Jim's letter came today and I also heard from Laura. I have swapped sides of the room just for a change. I hate monotony!

Now back to the perhaps most significant day of the week. 

July 11, 1967, Tuesday

Summer session(s) are nearly half gone already.  The first five weeks ends this Friday. Roxie, Larry and Steve were there over the weekend with June Annette. She is a sweet little girl. I gave her two rides on Buzzie. There were no major fireworks for the two days. Surprise? Thankful!! I drove to Camp Verde Saturday morning and then delivered a subpoena to John McMillan on Sunday. The folks brought me back to Flag Sunday evening. I'm hoping to stay up this next weekend. Lynn will be leaving and I will probably have a new roommate. Exams are Friday. I think I'll make a 1 in Econ and hope for a 2 in Stats if I am lucky.  I think I'll call Jim tonight. May also call the CofC and find when the Appy Show is, if possible. Then I'll call Dusty over the weekend. Make it person to person on Sunday and hope maybe I can catch him though it is very iffy. Doubtful on an old phone number.

It rained cats and dogs yesterday. I find that terribly depressing but one has to learn to endure all sorts of things. Roxie gave me $5.00 and I got $5.00 from Mama Witt so maybe I'll go shopping in the PM today. Generally that will raise my spirits out of the dumps for awhile.  Looks like since 1965 that summer is a lonely time. Last summer sure was. I hope Dusty is not sick but I wouldn't be  surprised if he is.  I cannot forget and mark him off although I almost try sometimes. At times I may go part way but it won't work, We have been too close. I swear it really almost seems like I have been married and now divorced. Roxie tells me to have fun and catch a good husband. That's what everyone says. They'd all be awfully mad of I did marry Dusty wouldn't they?  They might approve of Jim. As for Forester Ray, I am not sure. But that is not for real anyway. I'll just drift until some old lecher decides he likes my looks or something. God, what an attitude to have. But I really do not feel I am mistress of my fate. 

Later, after 10:00 p.m.  Guess who I just talked to on the phone about an hour ago!!. It sure does not pay to give up on that man, does it? He is working as a carpenter at a mine near Kingman and living out there in a camper. He said he might be over this way sometime this summer going to Winslow for another investigation and hearing. I guess they may take him back in awhile.  At least he is well, has a job and has not forgotten me. It is just not easy to get to town and a phone. But he called, he really did. Sure,  I am crazy to be elated but I am, anyway. Yes, I do love him. 

 On July 12 I wrote mostly about Dusty and the phone call. That was a very high point in the mostly rather meh summer. I did go shopping at Sprouse Reitz to get the rest of the fabric I had earlier found a remnant of as I had plans to make a multi-piece outfit with it. I was also considering buying an ironing board and possibly doing some for hire to pay for it. I also expected my next roommate to be showing up in any day. I also decided to go ahead and call Jim and chatted with him for awhile. He was staying at the high school, I think, maybe a kind of caretaker? Also getting up very early for some reason. I'm not sure what he was doing.

Explaining needed? Not much. June Annette was my Uncle Dan's eldest. She was about ten at that time.  I have no idea how John McMillan was involved in the ongoing Morgan madness; I do not want to know!  CofC was Chamber of Commerce and of course would have a schedule of special events around Flagstaff.  I have to laugh now at that 'catch a good husband' advice. That was still so prevalent! Actually the main reason for many girls to go to college?!  Nobody was very liberated yet. It grated on me a bit even then as that was not my main goal. An MRS was not a degree I sought. And so far few had impressed me as potentially worth the effort.The Laura I mentioned was an old pen pal I had almost quit writing.  Sadly at this point I did not know how long it would be before I was to speak to Dusty again. So many things did not go our way so we lost track of each other for months. Talk about star crossed lovers; some things seem to be ...fate? karma? just DTBL?  I still felt there would be other places and times and I do even to this day.  I know what I believe

Two photos,  one old, really both are. Dusty and me as I tried to remember us through some lonely times and Lynn's nice car. It was a Chevy Impala and probably no more than a year old. I was looking forward to getting my own--someday. That took three years more.

Memoir Monday, July 7, 19667

 As I said last week, this was a period that did not get much recording,. In fact, there is only one entry in the journal between  June 26 and July 11.  It is fairly long and covers quite a bit of territory so that will have to do,. My memory supplies almost nothing in addition, so what is there is what we share. .

July 6, 1967

Where did the good times go?  Last week was just okay, neither good nor bad. Friday I went home. It was a wild 'vacation'. I do believe the first week of July is dangerous for us. Last year I sported a black eye. This year we got into a tussle with Bazok on the 1st. He moved to Payson the next day.Then the Boss got arrested on the 3rd for 'assault with a deadly weapon' involving a halfwit named Grady Glover. Looking back it really seemed unreal.  Today was the preliminary hearing before JP Murray with Kemp Williamson attorney for the state. Being a key witness, I got the once over, almost like on Perry Mason but I must have done okay because His Honor (no sneer intended) presented an opinion of no probable cause. The Boss had to return to Prescott to officially sign out of jail and I left before he returned. The hearing lasted from 2:00 until 6:30. I just floated in a fog of exhaustion up the fifty mile route on the bus. My old "grandpa" Louie was the driver and he let me off at the south gate. Lynn was out so I showered and fell into bed.

It seems like Monday now,  but no, it's Thursday--all day today. Roxie and the boys are due over the weekend so I guess I shall go down and see them. I am so tired. Don't guess I slept a total of 24 hours in five nights. But now I've got a week's studying to do in a day and a half so I can't loaf much. If I am too exhausted I may take a nap after lunch but I have to spend  the evening at the library.  I hardly rode a bit, only bareback to the river but I got several sewing projects done. My turquoise shirt came out really nifty and the skirt/chaleco outfit is neat too. I have to go and get an absence excuse from the Dean's office directly and proceed to classes. I should have loads of mail anyway.

All that is confusing without any explaining,I expect. It even seems muddled to me! So let me fill in what I can. I mention the black eye which now  supplies a basic date for the final chapter of abuse that I spoke of last summer, the time where I 'sassed" and was hit in the face and knocked across the kitchen. So that was between July 1-3 in 1966. Hmm.  Who in the blazes Bazok was I have not a faint clue. Then name rings no bell and may have been a nickname or a intentional misspelling?  And I honestly do not really remember the other incident at all. I think I just erased that part of my mental tape. I suspect some confrontation, probably out at the pasture--no as we had no stock there anymore so where?  I am sure a threat or two was made but nobody got shot at or even close. Of that I am sure, and I think I did  testify absolute truth on that so the case was dismissed.  Roxie was my aunt, the sister just younger than Dad, and the boys were my cousins, Larry and Steve Tackett. As I said last week, the water was shut off and Charlie Mike and I took the horses to the river to drink. I slightly recall the clothes I mentioned making. They are long gone and I don'tthink I even have any scraps of that fabric. I got the missed assignments caught up and made any lost progress up in the two classes, so all ended well there.This would have been about the third week of the five week summer session.  I ended up getting A or 1 in both the Stats and Econ 1 classes. a nice surprise!

Photos??   The Old Jail in Cottonwood. I think the JP court was held there at this time. Next two views of the river bottom to show how it changed from about 1959 to 2021! When we watered the horses there in 1967 it was much closer to the 1959 view. The last is just a train near Kingman--not relevant and added in error. Does not want to delete!

Memoir Monday, Jun 30, 1967

 Little to reconstruct from as I wrote nothing for a week or more about this point.. There were a few events or non-events that I alluded to after the long holiday weekend. I will try to unravel that. The one page I wrote follows. It was on Monday, June 26.

By the time the weekend rolled around, and the Independence Day holiday was coming up, I think I was not enthused to go back and that weekend stretched with an extra day. For several I wrote not at all. That will pick up with the next week's, I guess, since that Friday would be July 7. 

Monday, June 26, 1967. 

Monday again. It wasn't a bad weekend at home. Saturday I got to drive all the way to Camp Verde and back. I do like driving. Didn't ride much. It was miserably hot and the cooler is on the blink.  Last night I came back up on the bus. Mama Witt had been trying too call so I called her. I'd been surprised to see a message in my box.  I reassured her, I think,. At least I tried. I am not sure what Mom had been writing in recent weeks. But probably not very cheerful!

Now I've already changed the sheets and done my washing, Lynn and I went to breakfast this morning, not a real usual thing. I'm ready to go off to classes in about half an hour. It's hard to write anymore --not much happens. At least now I don't have to worry so much. For now, the madness of last week has calmed down. Gotta go home again next weekend but meanwhile I'll just sit back and relax through this week.  Have to run a bunch of errands today after lunch so may go to the library to study tonight. May, that is. Now if only Dusty would call, I'd feel nearly okay about almost everything. But he could be anywhere, like flat on his back in a hospital with asthma like this time last year.  Darn, I should not worry so, but I do...

A few minor explains: The cooler was a window one-room air conditioning unit that was in the living room at Clarkdale. Mostly Dad worked in there on his legal and paper stuff,  so  Charlie Mike and I both avoided it most of the time. We'd rather sweat than get any of those  lectures! I am pretty sure the water was shut off at this time so we would take the seven  horses to the river to drink, often twice a day. .Luckily Buzzie and Leo were gentle and reliable now and we did not even have to saddle up. The others led well enough also. One of us would ride Leo and lead Chief and maybe one of the mares or fillies if they were clearly not in season.  The other on Buzzie would have a handful of  three on lead.There was one young donkey too; not sure what we did for him.  As to driving to Camp Verde, not sure why. Maybe to get feed or groceries rather than shop in local store.  Maybe had too big a bill at the Clarkdale or Cottonwood store and did not want a hassle about that being paid? Things were so haywire at this point. How in any holy name did the Old Man think he could go on existing that way? There is no answer except he was truly detached from all reality.I was so grateful to have a place to go and get away from it. I felt so sorry for Charlie Mike and even Alex, for he was now old enough to see how effed up things were.

Pictures are scare!. Flagstaff was lovely in the summer and that was a bright spot in my weeks there in 1967. I enjoyed it every year  from 1967, 1968, 1969 and half of 1970. I wish I had more photos, many were lost when my hard drive died in 2018. We have never been able to get any of it reclaimed. Two views were probably out near Lake Mary and one at the snow bowl  ski area and summer hiking region on the San Francisco Peaks. That was roommate Lynn's Chevy Nova--nice car!

  

 

Memoir Monday, June 23, 1967

 So another week slides by, too easy, too fast and it feels like more of the same dull beads slipping along a a cord, a rosary of my days. What stations do they pass? What prayers or offerings are needed? Looking back so very far it feels strange, almost unreal. This week back then I actually wrote a page on two days, Monday, June 19 and Friday, June 23. This post is for the 23rd but I will put them in chronological order to save any extra explanations or repetitions. Let's time travel. 

Monday June 19, 1967

I may as well leave off trying to keep a diary or journal. The days are mostly routine with minor joys and sorrows and an occasional accomplishment. Today I got a $50 check and a nice letter from Uncle Dan. I put half of it in my account, paid off my record bill, and kept the remainder. I made a 1 on my first Econ test. The first in Stats tomorrow. It was a dull, lonely weekend as Lynn took off and I was all alone. Still no word from Dusty. Will I ever? Maybe I will get a letter from Jim tomorrow. That is a poor second  best but I want to do something besides make 1s and dream about Prince Charming.  I'm coming down with a bad case of the blues--better snap out of it, girl. Everything is too easy. I should go look for a job. I am really an awful coward...

Friday, June 23, 1967

Summer--three days old now.It feels like summer, too, except for the wind. I feel sick as a dog. Too many worries plus two cups of coffee on an almost empty stomach. It was sure not considerate of the Boss to say he'd come by and tell me what all had happened and then to disappear without a word. especially after telling me all those gruesome tales. I sure had a doozy of a nightmare last night. We were tangling with a bunch of the local 'enemies'.* I sassed them some and started to leave and this Chinese guy threw a silver wedge/ax/ knife/star at me. The device settled in my head, right at the temple. I kept thinking they would catch me but they didn't. Somehow I staggered up to Jerome and banged on Jimmy Mac's door. I collapsed at his feet when he opened it. I had blood crusted in my hair and on my face. He said he'd take me to the  hospital and I screamed. "No! No,they will kill  me! Take me over to Prescott." I wanted to go to Whipple but of course couldn't so chose the County Hospital instead.  That was about the end. Geez, I mean it was gnarly. Lynn said she didn't sleep well either.  I don't think I was yelling...  Of course I am worried about Dusty, too. I'm not even sure he found the numbers but he must have since I am positive he was there that Tuesday to get part of his stuff.  But I really do wish I knew how and where he is. I'd like to call but don't know where or what I'd say depending on who might answer. 

A kind of diatribe follows; read at your discretion. 

*As to those "enemies",  they were named in the original narrative. I have not done so here out of respect for younger generations who were generally not responsible.  First I freely acknowledge that my male parent was an unmitigated asshat  and  brought a great deal of the issues on himself. However, I have to say in his behalf that he was an extreme narcissist but also had severe mental illness such as delusions of many kinds, major paranoia and possibly others.  I think he often felt he was literally fighting for his life, and acted that way. This fact was established in court that fall on another issue. While none of that excuses much he did, it was a proximate cause and verified fact. 

My major issue with those now unnamed people is how they were not abashed, actually almost seemed delighted to go after me and my brother without mercy and did so. I was a legal adult, thus not free of blame, although the psychology of enmeshed families was not well understood then so I might plead some immunity in that circumstance.  However,  Charlie Mike was **fifteen** at this time, legally a minor and thus a 'child' under the law. The abuse and hatefulness he was subjected to is inexcusable IMO. I cannot forgive it or those who did it. That level of abusive meanness was totally uncalled for. A few did step in and try to help him, one especially being Tom Henry, then a teacher as Mingus. I honor him for his decency and humanity, even while under political pressure of the school board which included some of those most bent on "getting even." Charlie Mike never forgot him and I did not either.  May he rest now in well-earned peace. 

Even after the whole family was out of the state, an effort was made to subpoena and drag me back from Flagstaff. I suspect the instigator wanted to seize the few horses I had taken charge of and was finding good homes for so I could realize no benefit from them. That was personal and I am still angry. I believe Dr McDonald intervened and quashed that effort. I was never arrested or brought to court. I did rehome them and got a half-penny on the dollar of their true value but it was far more important to me to see them in good  trustworthy homes which I did.  I still damn the greed and hate that drove such an ill-intended effort.  I will not forget, not ever.  Make of all this what you will.  At least it may explain some of my fierce aversion to the current political situation which has given me recurring to almost constant PTSD. 

Photos: All a few years earlier but just to remind myself and my readers about how we lived and what our lives were like when a group of adults who were mad at our father decided we were as guilty if not more.  We obviously really needed to be "put in our place",  no? Who was I, a toxic, trashy Morgan,  to be highest in my class and actually go to college? And who was Charlie Mike to even exist in the same world they and their offspring  did?  I try not to be bitter since it is all far in the past. I do not always succeed however. 

Memoir Monday, June 16, 1967

Ended this week back at the U after a long but also fast two weeks down in the valley, a time tangled in trauma, trouble, dread and uncertainty about much of the future.  But all things do pass, this epoch not completely or for some time but it did.

June 16, 1967 a Friday

Already? One week of summer school gone, just like that. Had a quiz in Econ today which I think I did okay on. Got a letter from Jim on Wednesday which I answered last night.  Wednesday night I was home--I had to deliver some "documents" to Dr D Bright and Sam Slaughter. We came back up early on Thursday  I now have rugs on the floor and my phonograph to play. That's nice, no? Jim was very apologetic and signed 'love' which seems to be his habit now. I've got to to establish a positive schedule to get more done. I can't afford to let the whole summer slip away from me. I went to the library to study last night. I am going to have to work to get A/1 in these two classes. Got some photos back. I'm going to send some to Charlie Mike plus a radio battery and any other treat I can think of because he had to miss the trip yesterday. Someone apparently had set fire to Twinkles' feedbox and we saw it just as we were leaving so he got out and stayed. I got a letter from Mary that came to Clarkdale. She is in California now. I gave the folks $50 and have the same in the bank. Haven't paid RCA yet but I'm not really sure what I owe so I'll wait on a bill.  It is now 1:00 pm and I guess I'll go uptown in a little while. Lynn has probably taken off with her guy.Just have to bea back by 6:000 for dinner.  None of mine are here. I wish Dusty would call. They brought his old 193680 back to the outfit in Clarkdale on Tuesday., Have the popcorn popper here now too, so I can cook some with it, heat stuff. anyway Guess I'll say Hasty Luegi (the cook at a busy pizza parlor, you know) Oooow, that is corny!

Explains? The'documents' were part of some lawsuit crap. I just acted as a process server, unofficial, of courses. Dr Bright was on the Clarkdale City Council  then and Slaughter was or had been the brand inspector.  Was the feedbox fire the next day related? Have no clue. There had been odd acts of vandalism for months but I was never sure of the cause or the perps. I had thought the foreman car came back sooner but this seems accurate.  I had two or three Good Will rugs I used to warm the cold tile floor in my room. Recall they were pink and fairly light.

So back to the prior weekend or at least my return on June 12. What went on from June 13-15 was not recorded except a bit on Friday. I think I stayed on campus for the next weekend after the brief visit midweek..

June 12, 1967 The "vacation" is all over, Last night the old Silver Eagle sped me up the road and dropped me off at the south entrance gate to campus. Walking, I was picked up  by a sharp looking guy in a convertible from whom I will probably never see or hear of again and he delivered me to the dorm. I climbed the stairs and opened the door to 323 to find I had a roommate. I really think I'l be glad. I thought she'd be a cat, but she's nice, tall and lean, a little like Maureen and teaches PE at Tuba City. She comes from a ranch in New Mexico. Her name is Lynn Erickson.  I had dreaded the day but there was not a slip. It all rolled off smooth as satin. Now to hit two courses for five weeks and make some more ones. Statistics is going to be hard, I fear, but I'll work on it. I've got to see about a job--maybe I could babysit from 1:00 to 5:00 for older students back for continuing education etc. It is almost too quiet after the noise at "home". Lynn is very quiet. So far I have had phenomenal luck with roommates. Registration is over and I ran through $200 of the $300 I got.  I am taking Economics I and Statistics, five mornings a week and done before noon. All I have to buy now is one more book. I'm really tired but I had dinner and took a nap. The cafeteria is a fair walk away, the one the athletes use in the regular year, where Mary worked. It is 8:00 now and I am wishing Dusty would call.. Oh, I got my last semester grades. I did okay on that home stretch and came in under the wire.  Five lovely ones!!! I could hardly believe but very happy!! A couple were very unexpected!  Man and the Arts--wow, that class had been so dismal and I was sure Dr Smallwood hated me!

A few random pictures:  An example of a Continental Trailways bus like I traveled in a lot  for a couple of years. It seems they had once been affiliated with the AT&SF but how and when I don't know.Then another view from my Wilson room--dark and poor shot. I cannot identify the cafeteria here. At that time this was the far south end of campus!  I never got a picture of Lynn but recall her as tall, blonde and rather athletic looking. We got along flawlessly but hardly associated on a social level. Last is a very old shot from spring 1958 which shows the corrals in Clarkdale much as they were until the last with a few more pens tacked on. This was when we traded two mules with the Grand Canyon ride concession. One wrangler and Charley Bryant were talking while Dad and the head wrangler. finished the swap.  

Monday Memoir, June 9, 1967

June 9, 1967, Friday

 More of the same?  I did get a bit of sewing done, mostly just to pass the time since I could not ride all day every day. I did not record it, but a vague memory says B&B 6 may have been taken out this week, (No, it wasn't until some weeks later.) From now on that siding will always be empty to me, the few times I am here, whether or not anything is parked there.  An era has ended, for how long or how permanently I cannot begin to guess. It is sad, more sad than I am really prepared to deal with. I refuse to say it is really the end; I still trust it never will be, but why and how, only time will tell. This is such a damned shame, so wrong, and an event I had no way to anticipate. Not even a month ago, we were making plans for the summer. The loss now is almost devastating. I have to learn to  compartmentalize many aspects of my life at this point. Otherwise I would have simply spirit-broken and almost gone out like a light.

My recollection of this second week is dim, vague and hazy. I am sure I was mad at the folks and upset about their attitude in continuing to expect to claim the two run down houses by adverse possession. That idea was so blatantly ridiculous and doomed NOT to work but I could not tell my male parent *anything*. There was no use trying. Looking back it is almost amazing  he often drove me back to Flagstaff or made sure I caught the bus in Cottonwood the other times. I would have expected him to throw some kind of tantrum or create roadblocks because I cannot believe he really wanted me to be doing that. Still, for that first year and a bit more I managed to give them money several times and I guess that was--appreciated? Welcome,  anyway. I never ran short as I was generally thrifty and then I did get some help from Uncle Dan and the monthly $5 or more from Grandma Witt. Somehow something always came through when I was scraping bottom. 

At this first break, I was proud of myself, and not abashed to say so. I had  managed to adjust and actually adapt to the new routine of study, classes, tests, and not give in to my doubts and fears of inadequacy.  I'm not sure why I even had them, for I had done well in high school but those four years had eroded my self image so very badly. I can't explain it any other way. I really did doubt I could do anything, at least do it right, do it well and succeed beyond barely okay. .I have to credit my guardian angel and at that time unnamed Female Divinity for staying with me. They were  always streaming support and comfort in silent, nearly intangible ways.  They took care of me and sustained me when I became deeply depressed.  To this day, I thank them. I know they always have been with me; I am alive today because of them.

In closing, I do not recall any huge blow ups and very few especially happy or uplifting moments.  The hours I spent with Charlie Mike were good; by then we had worked together so long it was almost habitual to have each other's backs and see where something was needed.  I know he trusted and counted on me and I surely did on him. I was able to spend a bit of time with Alex, too. He was growing and maturing, eight at the time. He was very bright and understood  much beyond his chronological age so we could actually talk about things and did. I joked with him but was often serious too.

I made it through that next weekend (June 10-11) and on Sunday night caught the old Silver Eagle to space and time-travel to my other world.  I did not take all I wanted to, but already planned to be back down the next weekend so that would be all right. 

Pictures? Despite the gloom and doom that was too prevalent, I held  hope and confidence as I started on the next step in my efforts.  I still counted on hearing from Dusty in time and knew I could not solve the folks' problems so it was pointless to fret about them. That was hard to do at times, but I did try--very determinedly! So here are skies to reflect the mixed impressions. The first is the dark and ominous events which had been hinted at for weeks and now became real. Next was a sunrise, brilliant and somehow promising brighter times. Last an odd one--the bluer area to\the middle right  looks like a path of stairs leading upward. I called it "stairway to heaven." It was a "gift photo" I hardly knew I had taken until I studied the picture.   These were all from Alamogordo but to me feel evocative and illustrative of this tumultuous time I could and did not capture any other way.

Monday Memoir, June 2, 1967

 During the two weeks back in Clarkdale that began on Saturday, May 27, I wrote not a line. There was very little good or uplifting to discuss but I hit a few higher spots on the period when I was back in Flagstaff on June 12.  Most of what I will write here on this first week is reconstructed from memory.

To begin I am almost sure I actually got 'home' Saturday May 27 though both possibilities are hinted at in my notes. It did not matter greatly.  At any rate, I learned fairly soon from Charlie Mike that Dusty had probably been fired. I'm not sure how he had heard this but it proved not to be a  false rumor.  B&B 6 was still there as they had not yet moved, but due to the holiday weekend, no one was around. I did manage to slip a note into the message can with my new telephone and room number at least. I had gotten them when I took my stuff over to Wilson Hall before I left Flag.

This sudden shocking  event was confirmed on the morning of May 30 when the crew got back from the holiday. Of course there were officials and others around so there was no way I could go over and even speak to Dusty. There was nothing 'official' about our relationship at that point except between the two of us and I would just have added confusion and maybe worse if I showed up. We did see he was there, anyway, and I was fairly sure he found my note.  I believe the local came in that day. By Thursday, at the latest, they cut Dusty's camp car out of the consist and took it away for a few days. 

Charlie Mike and I guessed they took it to Kingman which was his home of record so he could get his things out, then took it on to the new foreman's location to get his possessions and brought it back. I knew Dusty had a couch, a desk, a few chairs, a bed and a refrigerator that were his and of course his personal things.  I have no idea what he managed to do with it all because he had been renting a small trailer to live in and he was now unemployed.   

Despite this shock and anguish, about which both Charlie Mike and I carefully said no word in our parent's hearing,  everything else was fairly 'typical' of the situation at home at that time. We had animals to take care of and tried to get them exercised, fed and watered.  School at Mingus was not quite out yet  so Charlie went up to Jerome for a few more days as I took the chores back. I rode Buzzie quite a bit. She had picked up some and was doing better. The others were all okay.. I was too busy and really hardly dared try to go check the message can. There was more than enough to keep me distracted and constrained. If Dusty left me anything, I never found it. Probably there was nothing or the can probably fell unnoticed when they uncoupled the two cars anyway. 

I went to the Mingus graduation with Charlie Mike, not sure of the date, probably June 7 rather than May 31 but do not know. We took the bus up from Clarkdale. I saw almost no one I knew and felt misplaced and lonely.  I did not speak to Jim at all as he was running around and Charlie Mike said there was now a rumor I was PG and he was the father so low profile seemed the best . I later wrote him a somewhat  sharp letter since I was slightly offended anyway. He apologized later and it was okay on  through the summer.

The conflicts in which the folks were increasingly more deeply involved were  accelerating at a geometric rate. I began to suspect it all would end very badly which it did eventually, late in the summer.  The summer was not off to an auspicious start at that point anyway. I was glad I had someplace to go back to, actually very thankful. I am not sure if B&B 6 was soon moved or not, probably later than mid June. For me though, that siding was now forever empty. I had photographs and memories and that was all that remained. 

Photos: I'd just do dark clouds but as I said, it was not really the end for everything yet but definitely not all right. So some other scenes:  First the empty Clarkdale rail yard. This was from late spring 1965 but the view was the same except the smelter stack was now gone  Next is Buzzie; she was a bit skinnier than this at that time but rough coated as she had not been brushed out much from spring shedding. And last, this was in Whetstone many years later but the feeling of foreboding comes through very strong. It felt like a loaded pack to me  at first as I started back to Flagstaff.