Welcome to my World

Welcome to the domain different--to paraphrase from New Mexico's capital city of Santa Fe which bills itself "The City Different." Perhaps this space is not completely unique but my world shapes what I write as well as many other facets of my life. The four Ds figure prominently but there are many other things as well. Here you will learn what makes me tick, what thrills and inspires me, experiences that impact my life and many other antidotes, vignettes and journal notes that set the paradigm for Dierdre O'Dare and her alter ego Gwynn Morgan and the fiction and poetry they write. I sell nothing here--just share with friends and others who may wander in. There will be pictures, poems, observations, rants on occasion and sometimes even jokes. Welcome to our world!

Monday, December 28, 2020

Memoir Monday: Dcember 28, 1957

 To carry on with the idea I started last week. Two years made a lot of difference in the way I wrote and to some degree what I spoke about.  In 1956, I got the first really "my own horse" and she has now assumed a big place in my life! Chores were becoming a much bigger aspect too, mostly centering around the animals we had, the two old mares, a mule and my filly. I was now fourteen and in high school but was edging into  the 'cowboy girl' life and persona that I lived under for a good ten years. 

Dec 28: Got up medium. Usual horse chores. Ate breakfast.  Out to work. Sawed several logs. Went riding. Worked them out real good. When we got back Mom said Charles Ortmann had been by. I guess he got my letter. I hated to miss him. Poor guy, I guess he hated to miss Tina. Mom said he had on a red, white and blue shirt with the cuffs double rolled. No, no, no. Ate lunch. Papa left. Mike and I stacked wood. I did the horse chores. Came in and took a bath.Papa came home. Greenough was feeling pretty good. He had gotten my Christmas card and note and appeared to enjoy them. He is so lonely. I really feel quite sorry for him. I am glad I sent the card. Perhaps it cheered him a little. He is old enough to be my grandfather. Well, adios, Luz/Gayle/Peg/Tal. (I used a lot of nicknames!)

Okay, now for the 'splaing! Tina was the mare I got; she had come to me as an eight month old filly in February 1956 and was now two and half and by now was fairly well trained. Charles Ortmann was who I got her from. He was working as a cowboy at  the Miller Ranch and had supposedly been a concert violinist. I think health forced him to retire from that.  He was still very interested in how Tina was doing and I had a slight crush on him.  

By now I was making my own Christmas cards and sending them off to some of my heroes and friends.. Mr Greenough, a guest ranch operator and lion hunter, was a friend of Dad's.  I had a crush on him too even if he was, as I admit, old enough to be my grandfather--probably early 70s at this point. The wood mentioned was for the heating stove in the living room of the  house--we got our own fuel from a number of place and Charlie Mike and I were responsible for most of the cutting and bringing in work.  Apparently I did not think the rolled cuff idea was cool; that is all I can figure from that. Clearly Christmas had slid into past history three days afterwards although that year I had received some nice things to include a new hat and a nice work and study table that dad had made for me.

Now for a few pictures. The first is me and Tina , in the summer of 1957 when I had begun to ride her regularly. The next is me and my friend Evelyn Graves. She had borrowed a pair of my jeans to wear and we were going to go riding. Then the notorious Mr Greenough. An odd connection, Evelyn's older sister Shirley had worked for Mr Greenough at his ranch for a number of years and inherited part of it when he died. Dad had made the stock for the rifle he is carrying and given it to him as a gift. Dad did several very beautiful gun stocks and gave to friends and one for his own .257 which was later stolen and we never got it back.










Tuesday, December 22, 2020

Memoir--not-Monday

 I've been working on my memoir as a 'big project' this year since fiction and poetry just do not want to flow.  I suspect my muse has Covid-itis and maybe political allergies and has gone into a deep hibernation to try to recover. Anyway, even my urge to do essays be they a look at some past matter or a diatribe, has flagged a bit. Therefore since I do not want my favorite blog to wither I've sought a new inspiration. I started keeping a diary/journal on June 1, 1955. I had just turned twelve years old a month before and was a sixth grader at a small rural school where my dad was my teacher. 

So on December 22,  1955:  Didn't do much. No fun. Got a letter from Heidi. Went to the Xmas celebration in the park.

What does that recall?  At that age 'fun' is rather important so the absence of any was worth noting. Since school was several miles down the valley and none of my school friends lived nearby, I may have a been lonely. I did have a few local girl friends in Clarkdale having lived there for about two years at this point. Evelyn Graves and Arlene Blahnik come to mind. Perhaps they were busy elsewhere. I think Loretta Watson, my first Clarkdale friend, was gone by then and the two horses we had owned for about two years were pastured down near the school so I could not go riding.

Heidi was Heidi Carter, an early pen-pal. She was the niece of the Ireys who had a ranch across the river from Cottonwood and we had known them for awhile. Heidi lived in La Jolla, CA but had visited the previous summer when we met, two horse-loving girls who formed a friendship and vowed to keep in touch. We corresponded sporadically for quite awhile but I do not recall we ever met face to face again. 

The celebration in the park refers to the central park of Clarkdale which is perhaps a quarter acre square with grass and trees and a gazebo or band stand in the center.I really cannot quite picture the event but I think Santa was there and probably small treats were handed out to the kids. There was probably some music like a choir from a local church or some other group singing and maybe even the Clarkdale High band played.  Brother Charlie who had been born in November of 1951 was now four and I imagine I took him up town for the event. Our house was on Lower Main so it was maybe a half mile walk mostly uphill, to get to the park. 

So long ago! Memory is not too detailed from those days and the small notes I was keeping do not tell much that can awaken them. I can find a few of photos, so let me share them. 

In order of their appearance. Riding down at "the ranch"--20 acres the family had bought south of the area where the school was. I was riding Lady and dad was on Chindy with Charlie perched in front of him. I was already very much into horses!  The next shot is Heidi Carter and her brothers and their dog. She gave this to me as a keepsake. And last is yours truly; I think this was 4th or 5th grade but it was undated and looks a bit younger than I would have been in 1955, then twelve. I did not have any more school photos until the start of 7th grade. 





Tuesday, December 8, 2020

Sky Watching

 When did I become fascinated with the sky? It's been so long I cannot begn to pinpoint the date. I "always" loved sunsets and then when I was barely a teen the 'space race' began and I started to look for and at the satellites, the ones humanity added to those a Higher Power had given us. Also the moon, the stars, and now and then a UFO. 

Then when I was briefly an Air Force Historian I was assigned a project to write a history of the Spacetrack program to date (c: 1975). About the same time my late hubby gave me my very first astronomical telescope. Between those two 'chance' events, I turned a much more serious eye to the sky. I will never forget the first time I found Saturn in that scope. I gasped at the beauty and felt a sharp pang of sadness--it looked so far away and so alone out there in the big dark sky. 

For a couple of years I looked at many things with the scope and marveled at the accuity of the Baker-Nunn cameras that were one of the main devices with which the growing number of--and possible threat from--man made satellites were followed, catalogued and observed. Colorado was too cold to be out in the winter but I became friends with the summer sky and its constellations and the varying tracks of the eight planets that each marched to their own drummer. I also began to regret my stubborn and foolish rejection of math and science during my schooling because there was so much of astronomy  I had trouble understanding. To this day that gap bothers me but lacking the groundwork to build from it is hard to delve deeper into the celestial mechanics and other scientific aspects.

Then in 1977 we moved to north central California where the summer nights were the nicest time of the day and the cold did not set in nearly as early. Never much of a TV fan, I preferred to be outdoors from dusk to bedtime. My husband felt the same way. Almost all summer, to include the late spring and long fall, we spent most evenings in the front yard sprawled on a tarp looking up. Summers were very dry there so rain or even clouds rarely interfered with the view. I grew acquainted with more stars and more constellations and watched the bright fast 'stars' of the satellites zip across the sky. We counted them. I think once or twice we saw as many 25-30 in a night. At times we saw meteors and maybe once or twice space debris coming in, blazing as it hit the atmosphere. Once a glimpse of the northern lights, oddly red, that no one else ever noted anywhere but I am sure that was what they were. 

Then in 1983 we came back to Arizona and moved our watching to the back yard at our home in  Whetstone, just north of Huachcua City.  There was little light pollution in the area and viewing was fine though now summer evenings could be interrupted with lightning which we also enjoyed watching until it got too close.  I had gotten frustrated with the small, basically kid-level telescopes and especially the never-quite-steady mounts and tripods but the real good ones were too costly. Then we made friends with a guy who had an 8" Celestron that had become to heavy for him and his bad back to manage. I traded him a couple of my late father's professional level cameras and got that scope.  

Wow, a whole new universe! Oddly the scope featured a Schmidt-Cassegrain lens system, the same style of magnification that was the centerpiece of the Baker-Nunns. That was compact, efficient and made the scope itself very short for the power it had. The tripod was solid and the mount an engineering  wonder. We did a lot of looking with that instrument to include several eclipses and a comet or two as well as the stars and planets. 

From Wickapedia, an explanation of the system: The Cassegrain reflector is a combination of a primary concave mirror and a secondary convex mirror, often used in optical telescopes and radio antennas, the main characteristic being that the optical path folds back onto itself, relative to the optical system's primary mirror entrance aperture. This design puts the focal point at a convenient location behind the primary mirror and the convex secondary adds a telephoto effect creating a much longer focal length in a mechanically short system.[1]

That scope was set up and we had watched a partial moon eclipse the night before Jim fell ill with the beginning of his fatal heart attack in November 2003. In a day or two I wrapped a tarp over the scope and it sat there for some time before I finally took it down. I really have only set it up once or twice since. Somehow watching alone is not the same and I no longer lie out on the grass looking up at night for the same reason. It's been seventeen years now. 

I always intended to set the scope up in Alamogordo for the eight years I was there but the light pollution locally was too much and the scope was getting heavy for me, too. When we got ready to move to Arizona in the fall of 2019, I disassembled the whole tripod and mount. It is still heavy and awkward but packed and shipped easier. For the most part our skies here in J-6 ranches are dark and unobstructed and I do go out and look up some evenings for awhile. The head meteorologist on KGUN TV that we watch always mentions neat astronomical stuff that he recommends folks look for.  I once kind of glimpsed this summer's comet but the clouds and Tucson glow made it hard to find. 

in time I may put my big scope up once more--if I can remember how it all goes together. The electronic tracker is too old now to calibrate for the current sky but that would not be a major issue.  And it will be willed to one of my grandsons or even great grands if they show an interest as it is still a fine instrument. 

I will never tire of watching the sky, and the memories I have made over the years will certainly go to the last breath with me. If there was nothing to look at but the sky I could be almost contented. The wonders and beauty and breathtaking fierceness of it all, the vastness, the curiosity--it all draws me very strongly. I cannot afford it but I would love to be on that first or even a later space ship trip that may be available to the public in the fairly near future. I envy the astronauts for that chance to look back at our planet from some distant point.  One little green, blue and white ball, third out from Father Sun... yes, I am definitely solar-centric and sun-powered but I know even it is just one small speck of light in that vast infinity. Who else may be looking back from their distant world and wondering about this one? Maybe we will meet on the other side.