Memoir Monday, June 26, 1965

June was fading away, down to the last week there. Tension was high, for me especially, and for the whole enterprise, really. It was hot, funds were tight, issues arose daily and so on.... The next summer was even worse; thank goodness I did not know that yet!  Still, this was the hardest one I had endured since my full time cowboy girl stint began back in 1962. 

June 26, 1965  Sat

 I got up at 6:00 and went briskly to work. Only by keeping very busy am I able to maintain a degree of sanity. I fed and finished my yard work. It looks so nice (brag).Wrote about the Appy Judging School.  Rode Prez out to do the chores.  I got a letter from Judy. Led Leo and the red fillies and finally rode back out to do the midday swap. The local came in--nada, de nada, por nada! I spent the afternoon taking a nap and it’s doubtlessly a good thing I did. We had quite a hairy time at the pasture. Tried to breed Rita and she threw a fit so did Susie instead.  Hubert’s sore broke and about a quart of pus came out, Ugh, it was sickening. I gave him his shot.   Finally we put Bravo in with the mares because Pat was clobbering him. We were 9:00 getting in to our chicken dinner. I guess the Boss will leave early tomorrow so I am ‘el segundo’ for a few days at least. Lots to keep track of, too. I plan to take it a little bit easier tomorrow. Maybe do some sewing etc. But you know the best laid plans. I hoped I’d hear from Dusty today but no such luck. I’ll write him if he doesn’t pull in Tuesday.  Right now I am half mad at him.

I think I have mentioned how Charlie Mike and I were desperately keeping very busy at this point. Cleaning up the yard was an off and on effort I  gave at least some attention to almost every year but this time we made a big project out of it. All the "plunder" was stacked as neatly as possible, trash and weeds were removed and so on. I think I noted one place that we hauled dozens of old wagon loads across the alley and dumped them out of the way.  I guess to say I was wound up like an old fashioned eight day clock would be only a small exaggeration! Charlie Mike shared my anxiety, and he was also getting provoked about the talks, lectures and assorted shit fits that happened all the time.We often talked privately about taking off but were not sure how to manage it and I was still rooted in an absurd sense of duty. So mostly it was just keep on keeping on, one day at a time.

The Local--the Prescott Local was the usually twice-a-week freight train in and out. We kept expecting that B&B 6 would arrive with it the next visit since we had been told it was going to come back to Clarkdale 'soon'. But it didn't, time after time.

Hubert was one of the two big mules we had gotten a few weeks before. He and Lyndon (Humphrey and Johnson?) were really too big to be good saddle mules and we  had no idea what  to do with them. I can'r recall if he got distemper which can often form a large swelling in the chest or brisket area that will eventually break and drain or had been injured but he had a nasty sore and we'd been giving him antibiotic shots for it. This evening it broke open finally and ugly crap poured out. It was pretty gross. 

Bravo was now a year old and Pat was two, both young intact male horses and of course they would have some conflicts.  Bravo was too young to bother the mares to any serious extent so that was the best we could do. He was really rather meek and the big girls did not bully him badly.

Where was Dad--The Boss--going? I honestly do not recall. Perhaps either the VA Hospital for some treatment or other or else yet again on one of those endless "ranch hunt" trips. At any rate in his absence I was the foreman (el segundo) and in charge since there was really no one else capable of filling that role. Charlie Mike was getting to be a good hand and helper but still only fourteen and Mom was no ranch hand at all. Alex was still just a little kid. It no longer felt like an honor and I knew at the end I would be seen as doing something wrong and get reamed out for that. What ever!

 I had only heard from Dusty once since his surprise visit on May 31, and at that point the future was not too clear. No, I was not 'mad at him' but it was frustrating. I now know on his end it was equally so as he had problem after problem and at times was ready to quit and ditch it all but he had a strong sense of duty too. Then and there I had only a vague idea of his situation. Mine was in my face daily and patience was getting fragile. 

I know--it all sounds like a stupid, bad/sad story, doesn't it? Looking back it feels that way to me too. At times it is hard to believe it was real and I lived through it. Charlie Mike and I both survived and here we are today, living in a much better situation which we know we earned by what we did then and much we did later on our own as adults. Those shared rough times are a huge bond we share. 

A few photos. Bravo about a year old. This must have been spring and he had not shed out well. Next is Patrick (Pat) that summer. This was about the time I began to ride and train him. I think his first ride was in July. I had started Ginger first as she was a couple of months older. They were both Chief's colts. Last Alex and Charlie Mike behind the Ford about the start of school that fall. Charlie Mike was a freshman and Alex was in 2nd grade I think. They were not too ragamuffin looking for school, mostly thanks to Grandma Witt. Bless her heart. She was our angel.

Memoir Monday June 19, 1965

There was no Junteenth celebration in 1965 that I ever heard of. I think this custom come along quite a bit later. It was just June 19 and another ordinary day in my world at that time.

 June 19, 1965 Sat

 Woke up at 3:00 am to check on a drunk howling down in the canyon and stayed awake ‘til dawn. So that sort of slowed me down. Then I had a bad dream about a blonde hussy rival. Rode out late with just Prez and Buzzie. I was worried about the mail but only got a letter from Carol. I led Leo and the rest up and exercised the two little ones. Rode out to do the midday exchange and got back at 2:30. I ate lunch, sorted my dresser drawers some and washed my hair. Charlie Mike and I took the fillies up the canyon and sat for an hour and then went out to do the pasture chores. I led Chief out. Still no mares in. Got done rather late what with cleaning the burrs out of their mouths etc. I took a shower before supper as did Charlie Mike. After we ate we went to the ball game. The local team got beat by a Prescott outfit 1-8. It was terrible! We found three coke bottles anyway. I am getting really fidgety. I shall have at watch myself carefully. They’re having floods east of Albuquerque. I hope ATSF doesn’t send someone east! As it is, I guess I am expecting them to pull in here Thursday--maybe. How I’ll ever live until then I don’t know. When I stop to recall that he really kissed me I get a funny feeling inside. Mostly it doesn’t seem real but when it does I find myself far too anxious for the next one. I’m nearly afraid, Dusty… Hell, I’m going to bed.  Oh, I sneezed four times today…see your sweetheart tomorrow.

This memory is vague but there was someone--at the time we thought a drunk Indian but now I have no idea--it could have been any weird person. I do not think they were close to the corrals but of course we were concerned and checked it out--going down with firearms in hand I believe. No issues.So once awake at o'dark thirty it is not easy to go back to sleep. I still have that problem at times. Like today when a leg cramp woke me around 4:00 

I think the fillies I refer to were Buzzie and Lyno. They were just past two years old and not really mature yet so I guess that is correct although they were basically mares now, both having been ridden and gone through some training. Even on very hot days it was not bad up in the canyon where there was grass under a thicket of big mesquite trees. It is even woodsier looking now, many years later.

I think I have mentioned the burrs in mouth issue before. We had gotten a batch of crappy hay that had sandburs or something similar in the alfalfa and grass. This obnoxious junk did get in the horses' mouths and I had to reach in and clean them out. Luckily they do not bite much that way as a dog would. I do not think this actually caused any sickness but then it could have and was certainly not ideal!  Knowing what I know now I would have made the person we bought from take it back and refund our money but...well, that was then, and I was not in charge. 

The usual out after supper and another ball game. The locals got their butts kicked! And I was still hoping and expecting that B&B 6 with Dusty in charge would be getting back to Clarkdale any day so I was on pins and needles. It was very hard to keep my cool at least outwardly and not reveal any hint that would draw questions which I would be hard-pressed to answer and probably cause many more "talks". 

I had been "addicted to romance" since about age twelve but the experience of actually being in love in an adult way was still new and at times almost overwhelming to me. For twenty two, I was very naive and inexperienced and traveling new emotional routes. Remember,  I had been so severely constrained socially and missed the dating and normal teenage stuff which would have been a time to transition. Whether I would have been truly better off I do not know but I am almost sure it would have helped me cope!

Old pictures. Can hardly find new ones for this era!  First Patsy and Twinkles, her second colt, born May 26 and then Bunny with Little Dusty, born May 19. I mentioned his naming in the May 31 bridge post. I may have mentioned the pregnant mares briefly while covering the early May sickness issues. Both were not effected and the colts were fine. Little Dusty was a stud colt and Twink was a filly.  Next is me on Buzzie, a photo I seldom use as she was standing awkwardly. And last, Buzzie, Lyno and Ginger, who I had recently begun to ride and train, up in the canyon.

. 

Memoir Monday June 12, 1965

June, summer and more of the same in general. The routine varied little from day to day except for occasional trips and days that were blown to bits by "talks"  that ran for way too many hours. To me they were invariably a waste of time. I almost always went back to or started my work in a worse frame of mind, more discouraged, angry, depressed or troubled than before hand. I generally said as little as possible and sat silently, hunched in my corner at the table in the kitchen--which was also where we ate--while I reacted outwardly the very minimum I could. I rarely really understood what the purpose or reason was for these discussions, harangues and family "meetings"--except just part of the whole enmeshed family scenario.

June 12, 1965 Sat

 Got up at 6:15. I woke up at 5:30 this morning for some reason. Did the home chores and patched saddle pads. Charlie Mike got the mail before we left for the pasture. I got a letter from Shirl. We did the chores and I rode Lyno home, making her really hustle.  I led Leo and both the ponies. Saw the local come in. Charlie Mike rode out on his bike so I did the noon chores. After  lunch I wrote a letter to Mayottes and took a nap. We took Chief out this evening and spent an hour fooling with Rita. Got done and home about 8:00. After supper I let Charlie Mike talk me into a ball game. I saw lots of old friends--Bobbi Westcott and Judy Bonnaha with their children, for example. I am glad I waited for Dusty--whatever problems we may have. I’ve now done my hair and nails so I have to shower and get me off to bed pronto as the hour grows late. I may loaf some tomorrow. Wonder where Dusty is? It won’t be long, though.

Not much to explain or elaborate on here. .Making feedbags from empty feed sacks and patching saddle pads, usually with pieces of  old jeans, were regular tasks of mine. It was hand sewing with an over-sized needle and self-threads from the burlap bags and coarse thread for the pads. Not fun jobs but didn't mind if I was left alone and just did the work.

Obviously I was riding Lyno now. We had recognized Dad was too heavy for her and I took over. Never had any bad rodeos or problems with her. Really all the Quarter Horses were almost 'born broke' and just needed socializing and training. Not to brag, but that was my forte, really. I was a darn good trainer.

Shirl was one of my girl pen pals and I am sure I have mentioned her before. She lived in Colorado, originally in Rifle and then in Grand Junction after she married. The Mayottes were some semi-friends in Prescott, One of them worked at the VA Hospital at Whipple where Dad had met him or her--forget which. They had an Appy mare that was bred to Chief and we kept her for a month or so. 

Going out to at least walk around after supper was a long-term tradition Charlie Mike and I were allowed. It had become a solid habit over a period of several years. It was not a huge freedom --normal 10:00 curfew--but very appreciated. Ball games were often part of that time. Obviously this was adult softball teams, not the Little League. By now I know Bobbi had at least one child--her first son was born in the summer of 1961 and there may have been another by now. I think Judy only had the one little boy. I never really knew but suspect she was divorced after a few years. Once I met Dusty I felt I had the better of it. However his return to Clarkdale was not as quickly as I hoped and expected at this point. And so went June, 1965, nearing the middle now.

Photos are limited. Here are a couple. First me somewhere--looking a mule that was probably for sale. Looks like the rear end of the Ford pickup at the side there. From the distant view I am guessing around Camp Verde.  I need to crop and thus enlarge this better. Next is Rita, Dad holding her at the pasture. She was not really broke or trained but not hard to manage, a grade (unregistered/not purebred) Quarter Horse  And finally Mayotte's mare, Freckles or  officially "Candy Lady" Like many Appaloosas, she was not a real pretty animal, at least in my estimate, but nicely marked. Do not know if we ever saw her colt some 11 months later. That is the approximate gestation period for equines. A bit shorter than elephants!!

Memoir Monday June 5, 1965

May was over finally and the livestock was mostly well. I was still a little bit on cloud 9 from Memorial Day evening. My self imposed life sentence in Hades had fourteen months to go before I was "pardoned" but I had no clue on that yet. In all, those final long months were the best of times and the worst of times in true literary fashion. But as all things do, they came to pass.

June 5, 1965 Sat

 Got up  and kept quite busy all day.We waited to ride out until Charlie Mike could get the mail. Mar came by too and talked briefly so we were 9:30 leaving. Did our chores and got back by 11:00. The Boss rode Lyno again and she did real well. Charlie Mike rode out on his bike to change the stock and I did the noon chores. Then I came in about 2:00 to eat lunch and afterwards I read the RCA record catalog which came today. Loafed away the remainder of the afternoon watching the weather --there were showers and such around. We hauled Chief and hay out and did all the pasture chores. Got the  home chores done just before dark. We’ve been talking business since supper although Charlie Mike and I took a short walk and got some pop bottles. I bet Charlie Mike 10 cents that I’d not hear from Dusty before they pull in. It’s a bet I hope I lose, though. I’m counting the days… Wonder if he’ll come by tomorrow evening? I doubt it because it is nearly about twice as long, half again anyway. Goodnight, beloved. Dream of me.

Why a Saturday morning would be slowish I do not recall. But it was. Maybe there was some important mail expected--for the family/parents, not for me! There would have been no delay for my mail!  My friend Maureen had gone to college at Flag the past year and I think went back in the fall. She was still working with horses and still kind of hoped to get a colt by one or both of our studs. We had kept in touch at least off and on and did until the next fall.

By now I think I would have been riding Chief (finally!) and I know I was training Leo. Why Dad was trying to ride Lyno I really do not know. She was slightly bigger than Buzzie but still an immature long two year old and I know he and his big saddle (60# or so--I struggled to lift it onto a larger mule or a horse Tina's size) and he being 200# or close--was too heavy for her. She was high strung and could be flighty but I rode her later with no problem at all. It was one of his wild hair things; he'd decide I was doing too much or maybe not doing things according to his way or maybe he'd heard that I was getting the credit in many circles for doing the real breaking and training. One Big Shrug. Quien sabe?

Of course I was past eager to see Dusty again. B&B 6 was still at Adamana which is off north of I-40 and on or near the Navajo Reservation, not far west of New Mexico. To come by the Verde Valley, he would have to turn off at Ash Fork and come down to Prescott, go over Mingus on 89A and then going on, continue up 89A through  Oak Creek to Flagstaff to get back on the Interstate. Making that loop would add  a lot of miles and time so I could not expect him to do it often.  Just wish.... As it was, I got a letter at least once in June while B&B 6 did not get back to Clarkdale until the end of July. So I guess I lost that bet!

What was being discussed as "business" I do not recall. More ranch deals I suppose. Summer seemed to fire that effort up anew annually for several there. And where Charlie Mike and I scored some bottles, I am not sure either.  However we both kept an eye out for any 'homeless' batches to which we could slip under cover of deep dusk to rescue! Very often that was the only money we had except Mama Witt (maternal Grandma) would send us some once in awhile for a birthday or other occasion. I expect Charlie Mike got $5 or so for his 8th grade graduation.

Photos--seems like the same things over and over. How may ways can I portray the animals and our rag-picker appearance and such? In a word, boring.... And daily life was much the same. First shot is fixing fence at the pasture after one of the frequent summer washouts.Mom. Charlie Mike and Alex who wasn't big enough to work a lot yet. All the family that summer (1965) getting ready to go to Prescott likely.  And Lyno wearing what maybe was the big saddle. We had several so this may not be the one as I think it had square skirts?  I usually rode my light silver horned one or a McClellan on the colts and younger horses while training them. That kept the total weight well under 150#