Welcome to my World

Welcome to the domain different--to paraphrase from New Mexico's capital city of Santa Fe which bills itself "The City Different." Perhaps this space is not completely unique but my world shapes what I write as well as many other facets of my life. The four Ds figure prominently but there are many other things as well. Here you will learn what makes me tick, what thrills and inspires me, experiences that impact my life and many other antidotes, vignettes and journal notes that set the paradigm for Dierdre O'Dare and her alter ego Gwynn Morgan and the fiction and poetry they write. I sell nothing here--just share with friends and others who may wander in. There will be pictures, poems, observations, rants on occasion and sometimes even jokes. Welcome to our world!

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Happy Valentine's Day!

I'm sitting here on Valentine's Day thinking about love. Now how weird is that?

I've been fascinated by love all my life. As a small child I probably took it for granted. My parents loved me and each other and that was enough. I had little exposure to other children and I went almost everywhere my parents went since they did not believe in baby sitters. I suppose I was both sheltered and restricted. That continued even after I started school and realized there were lots of other 'real people' out there and most of them lived differently than my family. That's about the time I learned to read and discovered the magic of books--a wonderful glimpse into all sorts of worlds which I could only experience on the printed page.

Before long I moved beyond Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys into adult novels and most of them had a love story as part of the plot. Wow and hot diggity dog!  I discovered Romance with a capital R and I was hooked completely. From puberty on, I could not wait to find this wonder for myself. Of course I went through all the normal crushes and puppy love. The only unusual thing was that I wrote poems about it--poems that gradually grew more complex and more angsty as I got older and still did not find what I was looking for. In time of course I did, living through several affairs and finally getting married and almost living happily ever after, about as close as anyone can in the real world. Much of that journey is chronicled in my book Walking Down My Shadows which I called my fictionalized autobiography in verse.

I admit it is way too long and there is way too much repetition and maudlin nonsense and drivel in its pages. Here and there are some verses I am proud, almost humble to call my own. They were powerful and sincere and sometimes stark in their metaphor and vision. Only a few though. In time maybe I will do some drastic editing and republish it. Still,  it is honest and essentially real, an often unflattering self-portrait of one perfectly described by "unwisely but too well." Yet I still believe in love and the old saw that it is better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all. To this very day I own that with all my heart.

And now, as I moved into a more mature phase, I have greatly expanded my vision and understanding of love. It comes in so many shapes, shades and sizes! There is something for everyone, paired or single, even the most solitary of hermits. Love simply IS. It's all around us and shining down with the sun, falling with the rain or snow and even blowing on the wind. It's the vital electromagnetic energy that ties everything into a unit. It's part of us and our connection to the Godhead or the Source or the Universal! We're all swimming in that stream of power. The best we can do is soak it up and reflect it back in a kind of kinship with all. So today I will hug and cuddle my fur kids, reach out through cyberspace to many friends and family members to say I love you in one way or another, and look to the blue sky, feel the sweet warmth of the sun and inhale the clean, dry air and know that I am greatly blessed and surrounded by Love--the one true thing!.

I rarely quote the Bible but there is one psalm that speaks to me, especially in the old metrical rhymed version: "I lift my eyes unto the hills from whence doth come my aid..." Sitting out on the patio a bit ago, my brother observed there are mountains on every side, all around us here. That is good and feels right to us both. I love mountains and they accept me. I do not need to live on top of or closely in the midst of them but if I cannot see any, I feel lost and disoriented. They are my anchor or lodestone.

The first picture is a view SE from the highway between Alamogordo and Las Cruces and the second is directly east of my home, hills looming behind me over which I watch the sun rise many mornings. Oddly they are rather similar to those around Clarkdale, AZ where brother Charlie and I spent much of our early years. No wonder we feel at home here!

So to each and all, go in peace and harmony, go with and in Love and open your being to its presence all around you! Happy Valentine's Day!

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