There seemed to be no end of trouble, and not good trouble either. However, perhaps the end result was positive because it did write a finale to the immediate fiasco and foolishness of the Morgan Meltdown situation. Before it was over I would be totally alone in Arizona for a year and never really part of the family again, a visitor or sometimes assisting briefly but never a resident. I have to call that a blessing although the first months were very difficult in some ways. It was hard to learn to stand on my own and be self-sufficient despite the fact I had always been 'alone' but as the Eldest Daughter taking an active part on so much.
Oct 13, Friday
For a Friday the 13th it wasn't bad. Actually not my big superstition. Got the monthly miseries, late--like 36 days! Probably due to being upset so much. I'm on theHD front desk from 9:00 to 11:00. In the morning I'm going down on the bus. If I had not gotten the $50 from Uncle Dan, I'd really resent spending the bus fare. The old man is in jail again, according to Mom and Charlie Mike's calls Wednesday and Thursday. The specific deatils are not clear to me at present. Another assault maybe. At least I have $300 to take them, and if they don't get out of there with it, I think I'll quit going down. I am so fed up on the whole lousy situation that I could scream and roll on the floor.
I deposited $30 of that $50 which puts my VNB (Valley National Bank) account back up too $60. I bought a Montovani record, a piece of fabric for a dress and a roll of color film since the leaves are turning so prettily around here. I'll try to use the b&w in the camera this weekend and then get color shots on Monday. Coming down from town, I was startled when a blue VW passed me with two girls in it. The license looked like JSW-800. Was it the Bluebird? Maybe Peggy now has that car since I got the impression Dusty had an old pickup at the mine. But what if? I could just cry because I'll be gone all weekend. We have to move the three young mares Sunday I think so I will have to come back on the late bus, not midday. After that I wanted to call at least Winslow but what would I learn? I even thought about borrowing Colleen's car to--what? But what could I do? Nothing, really nothing.
I chckened out on a study date with Vern Erb who sits next to me in Accounting. I told him my father was sick and I had to haunt the phone--that is just a little bitof a white lie. Vern is 'friendly' to all the girls but especially to me and I am not all that impressed. Gee, I feel pretty rough. It is going to be a long sit the way my middle feels. I guess I would be poor comany tonight anyway. I feel about knee-high to a bowlegged centipede . Oh well, no point in feeling sorry for myself. The homecoming weekend was nice and Sunday was just beautiful. There is another home game tomorrorw but I will not be here. Too bad.
By the time I got back Sunday, I knew more of the situation. The Boss had taken several shots at a car that drove by early in the morning, to him too close and too often, but it was just a guy delivering newspapers. Nobody was hit but there were bullet holes in the car door and of course the guy freaked out and went to the cops. That was such a foolish, deranged thing to do!! I was sure even beforethis event that my male parent was literally ouit of his tree. It put a perspective on the whole goofy, grim and ghoulish mess. I am not sure where the $300 came from and I never said. I hardly had that much if I gatthered every cent from my small stash and the two bank accounts I had (Why two? I'd had the VNB one since 1965 and then opened another in Arizona Bank the prior year for just my school stuff. I think.) I almost feel I remember Uncle Dan sent it--a check to mom or one I was to cash and take to her at the same time he sent another just to me. I honestly do not know.There are so many things I did not write and so much I just walled off in a dingy mental closet. and slammed the door tight. I doubt hypnosis would get that all out and back even now! Not that I'd want to.
Pictures. What the heck for? Okay, a view of the house wit the old truck in the back . This had to be later in the year or the next spring as it did not snow but this was in that area. Finally two horses--probably two of the young mares in the yard there. I think it is Twinkles on the right and Cyn Mas to her left. by the markings.
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