Welcome to my World

Welcome to the domain different--to paraphrase from New Mexico's capital city of Santa Fe which bills itself "The City Different." Perhaps this space is not completely unique but my world shapes what I write as well as many other facets of my life. The four Ds figure prominently but there are many other things as well. Here you will learn what makes me tick, what thrills and inspires me, experiences that impact my life and many other antidotes, vignettes and journal notes that set the paradigm for Dierdre O'Dare and her alter ego Gwynn Morgan and the fiction and poetry they write. I sell nothing here--just share with friends and others who may wander in. There will be pictures, poems, observations, rants on occasion and sometimes even jokes. Welcome to our world!

Friday, January 18, 2013

Dogs, Dreams and Angel Numbers

This is not my photo but illustrates my feelings and state to some degree--a bright knot and swirl of confusing yet fascinating 'stuff'. The photo of course is of the aurora which is an electro-magnetic phenomenon . So I believe is life so maybe it is apropos!

This weekend I had planned to go to Arizona and spend part of the time in Tucson with a friend. I got to know Joe on line and met him one day last November. He is into the 'fast draw' and cowboy shooting and loves all things western so we had a bit in common. There is an event tomorrow in Old Tucson in which he had planned to compete.

Sadly this was not to be. He's had some health problems especially with his legs and was just diagnosed with a major staph infection and is now hospitalized and on IV antibiotics--to stop treatment could mean he loses a leg! I like him as a friend--not a big romance but friends are often better. But this gave me flashbacks as my late husband had a similar problem in 1995 and that was the beginning of his health slide down until his heart attack in 2003. I cannot abandon a nice person who is basically alone but it is hard to think of going thru this all again. So I walk a tightrope of involved/uninvolved as best I can!

I would have left today but now will head west tomorrow with some different goals to accomplish. Then an issue with another friend has me questioning my needs/wants, things I thought to be true and so on. This person is one I feel hugely bonded to and care for very deeply so when something came out of left field at me I was rudely jolted. I may misread or perhaps he did--I need to find out. But it's very troubling. So I have asked my guardian angels and personal deities for guidance. Of course what one gets is mixed and ambiguous or very subtle! You have to tune in and try to interpret. Not easy!

Here is my dream
 I was with a guy--who I cannot really identify although some resemblance of my dad--in a red pickup and he was driving. He decided to stop and put the five dogs out and then drove off. I was saying, "No, no. This is so wrong!. You can't do this." But he wouldn't listen, just kind of laughed. It was on a highway though not real busy--like the old road between Cottonwood and Clarkdale that I rode along so many times long ago. Then the scene shifted and I had the truck and went back to find the dogs. I know I got three of them--a red one kind of like Alanna mixed with Ginger, a black one a bit like Rico and a white one that had small spots of gray, black and brown and in the dream was 'part coyote' but did not look like it to me as I picture it .now The other two were less clear. Anyway at that point a sound jerked me awake--a single jangle like an old time alarm clock and I have no idea what it was. It was in my room and Ginger heard it too and woke up. Nothing that I can find or figure makes that kind of sound. It was 5:14 a.m. by my bedside clock. To me the colors of the dogs were significant and the number five even more so. The sound? Well, I  just finished reading Afterlife Encounters by Dianne Arcangel and I had the distinct feeling someone no longer in this plane was trying to reach me and tell me something. The five is also significant and the time--which adds to two fives or ten. I went back to sleep and awoke to get up at 6:44 (6+4+4=14=5) so five again!!

I am like whoa--I need to figure this out but it is really vague. I got my Angel Numbers book by Doreen Virtue (really like this book!) and looked up: 5: "This number relates to change, transformation, transmutation and alchemy. Something in your life is changing or about to change for the better." 514: "The angels are with you, helping you stay centered and peaceful during this time of change .(italics added). Rest assured that your life is transforming in a beautiful way." Okay, I say. Is this what 'they' are trying to tell me? And who is/was they? Needless to say I am just a bit shaken at this point or puzzled. It will sort out I expect but it's like the movie stopped before the end! Normally 5 is not a number I regard much one way or another but here it is. (i.e.) I have lived five places in the last five years and known the second friend I mention for the same time.. We met initially almost five years ago to the day.  A few other things in fives but they are less significant at least for now. 

I've pondered on it all day and am still not much wiser. the number readings seem positive and the idea of a change in life is both invigorating and a bit frightening. Familiar is comfortable and sometimes maybe dull but feels safe. Change is different. I always said there is no progress without change but all change is not progress! The angels seem to say this will be progress or better but I am still unsure. As for the dogs--that was very odd and I think telling me that I should not and will not dump off and leave anything that I care for, that whether it is easy or not, you hold to those obligations and honor them with all your soul.

I do sense some kind of crossroad coming up soon--I do not know what it may be or how it will present to me but I will have to make a decision and whichever it is will bring some change into my life. I am a little scared but also curious, even eager. I do trust my guardian angels--there are two or one that is dual-natured and I was told to call him/her Dara, which I do. I also trust my "Lady of the Wildlands"--call her Brighid, Rhiannon, Epona or Artemis/Diana--to help or guide me but leave my will free to make my own choices. So I go to face tomorrow and whatever it holds. Maybe more omens or messages will come--if I can only read them right! Say a prayer for and with me, please!

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